To be infuriated by people who sit in the swimming viewing area but aren't watching the swimming.

[N3wUs3rNam3Again]

I watch my childs swim lessons from a small viewing area, for her class there are 5 or 6 seats. Most weeks a mum with two older boys also sit in the area, both boys are on their phones, often so is the mum, the boys definitely don't watch any swimming. The boys go up to save seats before the rest of us have dropped our children off, class of between 6-8 so rarely can the rest of us get a seat and need to stand.

AIBU to think the boys should sit somewhere else. There is alternative seating away from viewing window and downstairs. Boys are probably 10/11 and 12/13.

Doesn’t sound like bagsying seats then, they need somewhere to wait while she’s in the women’s changing rooms surely

IIRC one of them had two children, a girl and a boy. The girl was probably early teens, 13ish, and the boy somewhat younger. She used to send them to get changed together in the family changing room, i.e. girl supervising younger brother, while she went off to bag the seats for her and her friend.

This actually was a whole other issue because that was not really what the family changing room was intended for. One time DH took DD to her lesson and went to use the family room to get her ready and was quite shocked and embarrassed to find this girl getting changed there. This was the last time he took DD to her lesson. I said he should have reported it to the staff but I think he just wanted the hell out.

My autistic child could do this. And because very dependable for around 10 minutes. Then we might run into v big problems.

Sure they can.
But can you not see that, where there are maybe half a dozen seats that give a good view of something, it might be slightly frustrating for someone who would like that view to find those seats are occupied by people who couldn't care less about the view.

You could say, "Hey, I can see that you are not really watching the swimming and there are no seats left for me to watch my daughter. Would you mind going and sitting {insert location of alternative seating} so I can watch my little girl? I'd really appreciate it."

Mmm…Can’t wait for the thread from the mother about the CF who asked her kids to move!

How do you cope with day to day life, OP? Just ask the mother if her boys can sit somewhere else if they are not watching the swimmers. Surely that’s what most normal adults do? What do you think she’s going to do? Kill you for asking? The worst that can happen is she will say “ no, I want them to sit with me where I can keep them close to me”. You want to watch your child. She may want to keep her boys within sight and earshot.

Life is going to get much harder than this, OP, as your child gets older.

Every leisure centre I have been to, and every private swimming lessons in school pools don’t allow anyone using phones anywhere near the pool.

My gran used to fart when she wanted people to move. It worked a treat. She was excellent at silent but deadly ones. Can you fart on demand? Clear the room? Get some beans down your neck at lunch. Load up the toot gun.

Swimming lessons aren’t fun. OP could take them to a public swim for fun or to see progress.

OP, you are are being unreasonable. But also, swimming lessons drive us all a bit crazy:

Leave work early, the kid does want to go - I don’t blame them - I wouldn’t want to swim now either, it’s a faff to sort the kit, get them changed, there is no space in the changing room, we dropped the clothes on the wet floor, the goggles don’t fit, my socks are wet; it’s so hot. Is this lesson good enough to justify the time and expense. Do they really need a perfect backstroke? It’s still hot. Get them changed. They are hungry. Brush the hair. We dropped the coats on the wet floor. Where the fuck is that sock? How do we lose a sock every week? Everyone is so annoying.

swimming lessons are the worst

All 3 ‘swimming view areas’ in my local pools are also cafes, so it is just a case of anyone being allowed to sit where they want.

I'm a swim teacher and parents should be around watching their children. Often the kids need the loo, have a bump, or are anxious if they can't see their grown up. It's a safeguarding issue.

I've had situations where I've had to stop my lesson and had to call out to other parents in the viewing area to go and find a parent who is not watching, as their child needs accompanying to the loo, or is crying.

I work in a big leisure centre and changing rooms are open ( mixed) so they can't just wander in there by themselves.

Also, another issue I came across when my kids were young, and in a deep pool.... One kid let go of the wall and was sinking as couldn't swim. If it hadn't been for us parents in the viewing gallery watching and yelling at the instructor who couldn't see him as he was in the pool and kid right behind him, there could have been a tragedy.

So yes, important to always be there, keeping an eye out.

Yanbu the boys could sit somewhere else if she leaves them unattended pre and post class.

You could always befriend the family and ask the boys to save you a seat and leave your coat.
If you cat beat them join them.

sorry deleted text as wrong thread.

It's half an hour of your life you'll never get back. Bring a book to read or a notebook to write some To Do lists.

You have so many years of parenting ahead of you. Don't sweat the small stuff.

In this case, the viewing area is upstairs and behind a window, and there are five or six seats, so probably not enough for all the swim students' parents to participate in the supporting role.

Kids should be encouraged to use the loo ahead of their thirty minute class, and should be weaned off the need to see a parent when they're supoosed to be focusing on instructions and movement. They don't have access to a waving parent in school after all.

And surely there is a lifeguard on duty during swim lessons?

I get it, I do. But, I've been doing swimming lessons with DC for 12 years & learned you have to just deal with it or it'll drive you insane. People put bags on seats, spread out across the bench, bring the extended family, kids on tablets at ear splitting volume plonked beside me... It's different people all the time as kids move classes often so no point telling people off. I just deal, and go home.

I do need to be visible as DD is SEN & has anxiety & occasionally has melt downs so I need to be able to intervene so the teacher can keep teaching the other kids & dealing with DD.

But, after two DC & thousands of lessons I am over watching constantly & do my grocery shopping, bills, or scroll Mumsnet!

To make it clear that you’d like to watch the swimming could you just sort of hover next to or in front of these boys peering through the window?

Hopefully they would soon take the hint!

You sound really polite!

They're bagsying seats or they'd wait in the same seating area where they sit after swimming.

As someone who has been taking my kids to swimming lessons for the best part of 10 years yabu. I sit there, often on my phone. I do watch them, but it's really boring and I am not able to focus entirely on the lesson for an hour ( two kids back to back lessons). So yes - I do the Tesco's shop or catch up on Mumsnet at the same time. It's called multi tasking and I would be very annoyed if you came up and asked me to move because I wasn't watching my little darlings avidly for every second.

That's just being bloody minded though, especially in the case of the OP where the people using the seats-with-a-view aren't actually looking at the pool at all.

Just.... be nice about it? If you are getting in the way of a view that you have no interest in, and someone who does want to use that view, why not just shift to another seat? Doesn't hurt, does it. It's the same for anything - why hog something unnecessarily?

It's a shame you can only imagine passive aggressive/slightly bitchy reasons for wanting to watch your child do an activity.

In my circles it's really normal to just enjoy watching your child do something. They are only young for a short time, there's plenty of years when your child doesn't want you there at all.

my Dd is a swimming teacher and children and parents alike praise her for making the lessons fun, enjoyable and productive and most, if not all, parents stay to watch their children.