Crush on same sex friend

[laughingcow85]

looking for advice or experiences.

have never been attracted to a same sex friend before, or anyone of opposite friend for that matter.

i have just turned 40, married with 2 kids and happy to be honest! I have recently found myself having feelings for a friend. We have a good connection, I don’t think the feeling is reciprocated in any way. We can talk about anything and she’s a really good friend. Friend is a few years younger, also married with 2 kids.

I don’t know what to do, hope it passes? It’s not like I want to cut contact - we have no reason to and it would be odd to when we are good friends. Poll is:

AIBU, yes - cut contact
AIBU, no - stay in contact and hope it passes

just want to let it out I suppose!

Would you explain why you're cutting contact?

Cutting contact because you have a crush would be a bit extreme! Yiu can always see less of each other? Are you actually sexually attracted though, rather than crushing because they’re amazing/cool/ fun etc?

Definitely wouldn’t explain why. Not something I would share with anyone! I suppose I could just be crushing rather than sexually attracted

If it's literally just a crush, I wouldn't cut contact. It probably will pass. But if you really feel like you're in love with her - to the extent where you'd save her over your partner in a burning building and feel resentful of her husband etc - then that's probably a bit more of a concern.

I’ve been in this position before. I wouldn’t cut her off completely, but I may be a good idea to distance yourself a little until those feelings subside?

You’re not sexually attracted so, what, you just really like her..?

Why is this a problem?

Thanks everyone. Reading these perspectives make me realise it’s probably just a crush rather than ‘love’ so hopefully it will pass soon. I don’t want it to ruin our friendship

I'm in exactly the same situation just now and it's making me really miserable to be honest. I don't want to cut contact totally because I think that would be weirder and I want to keep her as a friend. I'm going for being in contact a little bit less and waiting for these feelings to (hopefully!) pass.

Thanks for sharing your current experience. Do you feel like it’s just a crush that will pass? Have you been friends for a long time?

We've been friends for almost four years. I haven't always felt like this, it just used to be a totally normal friendship like I have with all my other friends. So I am very hopeful I can get back to that once these feelings pass. There's nothing else I can do but give it time. I'm not planning on ever telling her how I feel but I do worry in case it's really obvious. 😳