To find it ridiculous when people assume you must be a man just because you don’t agree with them?

[MerryPinkCritic]

It’s such a common thing online - if you express an opinion that doesn’t align with certain narratives, suddenly you must be a man. It’s as if women are expected to think a certain way and any deviation means you can’t possibly be one.

Why is it so hard for some people to accept that women don’t all share the same opinions?

I have always been accused of being male. It’s so tiresome. It’s probably because I’m on the spectrum, but it sucks.

You're answering on behalf of another poster and you're contradicting them. I can understand (although I don't personally agree) that some women feel the word "feminism" has misandrist connotations that they would rather distance themselves from, despite still being feminists. That's not what the PP said though. She said she was "turned off feminism for good".

I was once accused of being AI on here!

Yes, exactly this. Thank you for expressing it so well.

Interesting to hear that some PPs think it’s only only ‘anti women’ opinions that see people accused of being men. Makes me wonder what they consider ‘anti woman’ opinions to be.

If someone posted, eg, “women are more stupid than men” or “there’s no such thing as rape within marriage” or “women treat nice guys badly and secretly want alpha males who beat them up” or whatever then yeah, maybe reasonable to assume they’re a man.

But the sort of posters who typically get accused of being a man are generally not saying those things. For example, I have been accused of being a man because I said it’s not disgusting or abnormal or an indication of porn addiction for either men or women to have private fantasies about threesomes.

I am not answering "on behalf" of anyone, I am just writing down my opinion in reply to YOUR post. Nothing to do with the other poster.
The other poster is perfectly able to answer if they want to, they don't need me to do it for them.

It's a forum, that's what we do, express our opinion.

Absolutely this. The mere mention that you may be into something sexual that doesn’t fit the Mumsnet required ‘vanilla’, you’re accused of either being a man or are being coerced and should ‘raise the bar’.

Raising the bar is also required when you’re a woman who doesn’t mind washing and ironing your husbands clothes, regardless of what he does for you.

We are also failed women if we choose to change our surnames upon marriage. Apparently, it’s more important to ‘crush the patriarchy’ than it is to just do whatever the fuck you want.

What i hate is this 'anti-woman' call, just because someone doesn't toe the line of what they think womanhood is.

They vilify anyone who doesn't conform to their pre-ordained idea's of what one is and call them men, or cool wives, or pick me's.

It just shows them up to be some of the worse misogynists going imho.

A woman is whatever she wants to be... and i've certainly never conformed to anyones ideas of who/what i should be, i'm sure i'm not the only one who feels that way.

I don't know. Im sure some people do come out with the line that 'you must be a man' if you disagree or have a certain way of putting things, perhaps more direct than is common. But I've also seen some posters who I'm fairly sure are men pretending to be women simply because tiny giveaways in how they refer to things. One happened recently - a very prolific poster on a thread over a week ago now, and it was a combination of how they talked about things and then finally how they referred in passing to CSA. I don't believe they were female, no.

I also think nowadays that Mumsnet is targeted by some incels and some other less-than-good faith people. It's very hard to be sure in some cases and certainly no doubt I've got it wrong at times. But unfortunately I think there are some deliberate shit stirrers on here and I don't think all of them are women, no.

There are a lot of 'tells' to show up a bloke. Not understanding why women are frightened or wary of men, not putting their children first, not putting your (virtual) arms around a woman who has suffered from a violent husband, and complaining that a woman YOU got pregnant doesn't behave how you want her to. All dead giveaways. We always know a bloke, because we have to, for ours and our children's safety.

All dead giveaways. We always know a bloke, because we have to, for ours and our children's safety

Except they're not, and we don't. I can think of plenty of women I've met in real life who absolutely do not put their children first, for example, and there are plenty of women on here with experiences of not being put first by their own mothers. And I've certainly heard some fucking awful opinions in real life from women in response to hearing about domestic violence, so I don't see why they wouldn't be expressed on here. I know we'd all like to believe that women are all lovely and support other women all the time and are unselfishly maternal and devoted mothers, but this simply isn't the case. Plenty of women are awful, just like plenty of men are awful.

There's at least one poster on Mumsnet (or was, I don't think she posts these days but if she still lurks, hello Nat 👋) who I know in real life, and she has been accused of being a man on here more than once - and certainly not for anything like the reasons you think are 'dead giveaways', either. So no, we absolutely cannot always tell, sorry. It would be nice if we could, but you're deluding yourself and lulling yourself - and other women - into a false sense of security if you think we can.

That is the sort of thing a cat would do though 😂