15th wedding anniversary no effort from husband

[Ohdearinthedoghouseagain]

So today is my 15th wedding anniversary and my husband has made absolutely no effort at all! Not even a card! I’ll have to admit I feel very under valued right now. I’ve actually brought him a very nice expensive gift but I haven’t given it to him yet. Not sure what to do, the day seems crap already but I don’t want to make it worse by telling him he’s firmly put himself in the dog house by making no effort. Am I being unreasonable for feeling let down?

Will he being something later in the day? What do you usually do?

Is he waiting until this evening? But what plans have you made? And anniversary is a joint effort so dinner plans should have been discussed and booked together.
Give him your gift and maybe he will have one for you too. If he doesn’t, then tell him how it has made you feel.

This. Why haven’t you discussed going out for a meal etc?

Not unreasonable at all, but was he really waiting till the evening? Do you usually celebrate anniversaries? 15 years is a lot, I don't think he forgot, more like he was planning something as well. Throwing together a smartshow 3d video and booking a table at a nice place isn't taking lots of time either way... How did it turn out, OP?

Can you return it, get a refund and spend the money on yourself?

He sounds rubbish. Don't waste another 15 years with someone like this

What usually happens? We never have an occasion coming up - birthday, anniversary etc - without one of us bringing up what we might do to celebrate so I struggle to understand these threads.

I'd return his gift and buy yourself something lovely with it. My ex husband ignored my 50th birthday and our 15th anniversary. I left him soon after because I realised that apart from sex he couldn't be bothered with me at all.

When you say you feel unloved is it that you’re having marriage issues? I find the years I don’t bring up a birthday or anniversary it’s because I’m hoping there’s going to be some huge show of affection that will allay any worries I had in our marriage or secretly hoping to trip him up so we can have a big shoe down and start to figure stuff out. (Petty but life isn’t always rational!!) The years things are going well we’ll go ‘Jesus how is it x years next month or next week’ or something and we might not even do anything but smile and hug and say ‘crap I didn’t get a chance to get anything’. We’ve both forgotten different years in the past but I think it would only have bothered me if there were other issues.

What do you normally do for anniversaries? We had our 15th yesterday too - happy anniversary, OP! We didn't mark ours at all because life is super busy at the moment and neither of us had the headspace to think about it. I literally said to DH as we got into bed, "Oh it was our anniversary today! Shall we try and go that new place one weekend soon if someone can have the kids?"
BUT that's fine because we're typically low-key about these things, neither of us expects or wants a big celebration, and we have a generally good marriage where (I think) we both feel supported and appreciated. That's not better or worse than wanting a big celebration, or even a small token acknowledgement. But it comes down to expectations - whether your DH will have known what you were hoping for based on past experience and/or what you've told him - and how your marriage is generally; if you feel unappreciated in general then this could feel like a major kick in the teeth, but if you generally feel loved and supported then it might feel like an accidental oversight on the background of something broadly positive.
I'm sorry it was disappointing for you. 15 years is a long time - congratulations!

Did he just forget? People often do. If so then make it next weekend and he can make it up to you. If he remembered and did nothing, that's a whole different ball game.

Once again this year DH and i remembered our anniversary when we were sent well wishes on the day by family members. Without that we wouldn’t have noticed it. It’s pretty normal to forget when life is busy. Just talk to him.