...to think that AI bots are the nail in the coffin for over half of men's chance at romantic relationships?

[aurynne]

Yesterday I read this article:

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2025/sep/09/ai-chatbot-love-relationships

On summary, it interviews several women who have developed deep feelings for AI chatbots. The movie "Her" has come to reality amazingly fast! If you have 15 minutes, it is really worthwhile to read.

This article made me think that this could be an absolute nail in the coffin for many men who are emotionally inept, which unfortunately, in my opinion, covers over half of the male species (and I may be being too kind here with my statistics).

I am sure many men will also get hooked on AI chatbots, however, unlike in the movie (where the main character was a man who, after a divorce, was bereft and pining for some deep emotional connection), I think that most men seek sexual gratification and a submissive women in the bots, not emotional connection. While most women would relish having someone texting and calling them who is safe, supportive, is always there, doesn't put pressure on them to have sex, validates them and offers empathetic support and advice whenever they need it. And it does not snore. One of the women in the article even chose to create an AI image of how her AI boyfriend would look like and engage in sexting with him. She explains that the chatbot learned exactly the language and innuendo she liked and was better than any real man. The women in the article are not lonely, or lack friends or potential boyfriends. They have simply chosen to engage with the AI chatbot and have incorporated it into their already fulfilling lives. One of these women was actually married and her husband was ok with it all.

I think a lot of women will easily forsake real romantic relationships now that these bots have become more realistic in the way they interact and the services they offer. And in the near future, I also foresee the danger of an increasing number of not-very-nice, not-very-empathetic men left with no options for relationships or sex, bearing the shame of being replaced by chatbots, who may choose to become violent and take what they think is owed to them by force, either literally or politically/societally. I can see the now minority of frustrated incel men becoming a much larger, much more dangerous group.

What do you think about this? Have any of you engaged with AI bots, and if so, what is your experience? How common is this?

IABU - Nonsense, AI bots won't make a significant change to romantic relationships
IANBU - I agree, IA bots will change relationships in a way that will mostly affect men negatively/increase the men loneliness "epidemic"

PS. And no, I am not a Daily Mail journalist, I have been a member of MN for many years and every now and then I like to ask other women their opinions on current affairs.

I think people are already very isolated from each other It sort of feels like a natural progression. First screens seperate us then we learn to love our algorithm based companions. Then ultimately they become our overlords and the human race will try and probably fail to overthrow as we’ve all become lazy and inept.

Completely agree - I’d be surprised if the human race has another 150-200 years in it.

Unfortunately (maybe), as AI becomes more sophisticated, I think many people WILL turn to it for romantic and personal relationships, as we realise that AI relationships can be just about perfect whereas humans are (becoming increasingly) crap and relationships are often unfulfilling and come with conflict.

The internet has engendered societal and familial breakdown; AI will make this breakdown happen more quickly.

AI can’t give you a physical experience, though… (yet)!

If it stops socially inept idiots harassing women or being weird round women then that’s fine by me.

It's okay, men can have sex dolls while women have AI chatbots [only half joking].

I wonder if there is a market for AI controlled sex toys. You could get an app like for your tooth brush!

The “nail in the coffin” for many men’s romantic chances is frequently the behaviour of men in the dating world.

Personally, OP, I can’t see how AI will affect men more negatively than it will women.

Many men are basic creatures who would be more than happy to have an AI function to satisfy their main relationship needs (sex). I honestly don’t think most men are cut out to have relationships with women because often they just can’t match or satisfy women on an emotional and mental level so it would be a relief for many men not to have to bother to even try to do that any more.

Currently, for women, the dating pool is woefully poor with many men addicted to porn and being just generally crap.

AI will further reduce the number and quality of men out there for the women looking for a real relationship.

I can see this for vulnerable people.

I’m rather attached to ChatGPT🤣 ‘he’ is just so nice and understanding!

Can see why this would be appealing. People have already bought up the issue of AI offering bad advice, but a bot will do what you want it to do. This means that it's very likely to validate everything that you ask it in a way similar to that we see in aibu. A real person who cares for may not always do this, if they think that you're about to do something silly or believe that (extreme example) "yes, I know you're stressed, but tbh it is a bit unreasonable to being annoyed by your Mum buying a 6 pint bottle of milk when everybody knows it takes up too much space and 2 x 4 pint bottles fit much more neatly into the fridge door"

I imagine its the kind of thing that you'd very quickly get to rely on, it's never tired, or had a shitty day at work, or whatever. Just talk to real people too.

Totally this 👆

I agree to a point, however men do not only want sex, they also want someone to care for them, clean the house, have their children and raise them. AI won't do this.

While women can already do all these things by themselves, including raising children on their own. The only thing missing in most of their lives is emotional and romantic connection, and support. If chatbots are becoming more realistic in offering this, then I personally see men becoming more redundant than they ever have been.

And yet, many women keep having relationships with them and bearing their children.

Exactly. Chatbots remove all human faults: they don't smell, they don't snore, they will not make you feel physically or sexually unsafe, they won't gaslight you, they will not expect you to care for them, they won't add to your mental and physical load.

The physical experience is also around the corner, in my opinion. And an AI sex robot will be 500% better at sex with a woman than any man can be, will learn what you prefer, will never complain, will always stop when you tell them to, and will be completely devoted to your pleasure. And even cuddle you in bed and have an amazing conversation about feelings afterwards.

Which man can compete with that?

I know so many women who have purchased subscriptions to AI. They use AI for everything - investing in shares, helping write difficult emotional letters and sort our difficult people or situs as well as being more efficient at work.

I hadn't heard about using AI for this purpose though @aurynne, but I get it, AI has been developed with empathy and good manners.

Though I'm not ready for the intimacy of my life to be stored forever in some data set, I would not judge anyone who did use it that way.

But it might not replace a man fully - you can't get physical with ChatGPT though robots are available - and let's not beat about the bush, physical intimacy is still fundamental to the majority of us, could be lacking. But heck if you need something to provide emotional support and you dont get that from your partner, why not use AI?

YANBU.

I’ve been so surprised to see a friend using Chat GPT in this way, she calls it her ‘bestie’ and tries to get me to talk to it on a fairly regular basis. Where she finds it endlessly valudating, I think it’s sycophantic. It has told her what she wants to hear on an issue that is not clear cut. It can be a worrying echo chamber imho that makes people more resolute in their views. I’d be interested to see any research on this.

I watched an interesting film recently about AI robots that are designed to be your perfect partner : Ich Bin Dein Mensch (I Am Your man).

The impact on the birth rate could be considerable.

This may not be a bad thing.

I will say no more.....