FIL sharing flag related posts on FB

[lookpar]

I really take issue with the flag posts (not trying to argue that on here btw) I do take it personally and feel it’s racially motivated. I wouldn’t be friends with anyone who had these views so why would I allow it from FIL? Bearing in mind I have already had racist experiences from dh’s family. It’s MIL’s birthday on Saturday and I really don’t want to go now. Socialising with people like this completely goes against what I stand for. So AIBU to not go on Saturday? And also unfriend FIL on fb.

You're being very judgemental can't you accept people have different views to you

He sounds revolting. You don’t need to go, but I’d probably distance myself quietly for your DH’s sake, rather than say anything.

Couldnt have said it better myself really

What posts had he shared?

"I'm proud to be English and fly the flag" ones or "stop the boats. Send them home" type ones?

Can you even be sure your friends don't hold similar views?

Go and annoy him

Gosh, 2 England flag bashing threads today. The flag bashers are excelling themselves! I wonder when these tedious threads will die a death. ???!

Another one to hide...

And it's hidden in 3, 2, 1............

What exactly are the posts you are referring to showing? Just people putting up their flag? Why would you unfollow your own FIL and cause a family rift because of that? Unless there is more to the posts you aren’t explaining.

Don’t go and do them a favour.

Humans are not homogenous and will have varying beliefs and feelings, this is true for peoples reasons for putting up the flags etc. When has it become accepted that we become so intolerant of other people’s opinions and views that may differ from our own? Your FIL is free to belief and post what he wishes, as are you, like you have done here. You cannot control this. You can only control what you do. You have a choice really - go and choose not to engage if the discussion involves the flags or don’t go and accept there will be a fall out for this. People are more than their opinions on flags.

Yep. Rinse and repeat.

But so are these people sharing the flags? At least mine is standing against racism

Racist views? He can have them all he likes but why would OP want to spend time with her racist in-laws?

This is an important question.

I am in no doubt that the majority of the people putting up flags and posting about it do so with racist motivation... but they also succeed in taking in some gullible people who don't see that's what it's about and therefore share it.

So with your FIL, could it be he's gullible and not racist?

If he's definitely racist, then no you're not unreasonable to be annoyed, and to either not go or to give him a piece of your mind. It's also a good opportunity for your husband to show that he can and will stand up for you.

If gullibility is a possibility, it's harder to tackle as no-one likes to be told they're gullible so pointing it out can lead to people digging their heals in.

I am not ashamed to be English

God forbid he should have different opinions to you 😱 You obviously have the only correct ones.

Not all opinions are equally valid.

To consider two extremes:

• "Tea is better than coffee" or "Football is enjoyable" are opinions I disagree with but can respect.
• "We should leave migrants to drown in the channel" or "Muslims are subhuman" are opinions not worthy of respect

Flying your own countries flag in your own country is not racist. If your boss said he liked the flags would you quit your job, if your children liked them would you put them up for adoption or would you just accept as an adult you can agree to disagree.

I need that pic! ❤️

I don't think that at all i just like seeing flags i think its nice people are proud of their own country. It doesn't mean I want to harm others. I feel the same in other countries when I see them flying their flag its just nice people should be proud of where they came from

But that isn’t what’s happening at present. People are using the flags to mark their territory. It’s like tomcats spraying.

Thank you :) let’s be honest this is what it boils down to. I think the people justifying the flags don’t want to admit the harsh truth to themselves

If you’ve already experienced racism from them then obviously the shoe fits, it walks like a duck etc etc. I’d stay away just for my own sanity and peace.

I saw this earlier which made me laugh but unfortunately I think this is the reality for many right now which must be mortifying.

If you've experienced racism from his family I'd want to limit my contact with them as much as possible. I think the flag stuff is a side issue.