Is this a conflict of interest?

[timetablechaos]

Looking for some advice or perspective on something that’s been really bothering me, as it’s had a huge emotional impact on my DC.
My child (14) has spent the last 6 years heavily involved in a high-level extracurricular activity (think 12+ hours a week). They’ve worked really hard and been fully committed. At the end of last school year, they had the opportunity to apply for a place to continue with the activity. Historically, all children who have done this activity for several years have been offered continuing places.This year, 6 applied and 5 were awarded places. The only one not accepted was my child. There have been no behaviour issues, no cause for concern or issues raised throughout their time in this organisation - this is not the point of my AIBU but I'm adding for context. This decision came completely out of the blue with no feedback and was really upsetting. Understandably, DC is devastated.

Now this is my AIBU- My child had paid-for private lessons in the main skill of this activity with a teacher who also works at the organisation that awards the places. I'll call him Mr X. He taught DC for 3 years and was always happy with my child's performance. At first, things were fine, but Mr X had a habit of being very unreliable (frequent cancellations, no-shows without warning, etc). After a lot of patience, we ended the lessons earlier this year and found a different teacher.

I’ve now learned that Mr X was involved in the selection process for awarding continuing places this year. I think it's important to also mention that he currently teaches 4 out of the 5 children who were awarded continuing places in the program in separate private paid-for lessons (outside of the activity) as he used to do with my child. I was not aware he was involved in this year's decision and only found out when I asked for feedback on why my child didn’t receive a place. I was told it was a 'group decision by key staff' including Mr X. I can’t help but feel this is a conflict of interest as Mr X had a previous teaching relationship with my child (which he possibly now perceives in a negative light), and he currently teaches the majority of the children who were successful in a private capacity. It is not unreasonable to assume that consciously or unconsciously he might favour his own pupils for these really sought-after places and that he should have recused himself. Teaching this skill is his main income. Am I wrong to think this raises questions about the fairness and independence of the whole process?

I'm not sure that OP has to prove anything. There's a basic principle that any process like this should not only be fair, but should be seen to be fair. It may be that Mr X did his best to act with complete propriety, but the simple fact is that his involvement in the selection process, coupled with the fact that the only child not selected is the one who gave up his lessons, gives a distinct appearance of bias and he can't prove that he wasn't biased, even unconsciously. He should have completely recused himself, and I suspect the governing body fo the sport (or whatever it is) would take a similar view.

At the very least, OP and her child are entitled to a better explanation than one which is essentially "That was our decision, like it or lump it". The reluctance to explain more also gives rise to reasonable concerns that they had something to hide.

What do you want them to do with him? Do you just want them to reverse the decision to exclude your child?

This type of nepotism happened to me as a child and really impacted on my self esteem and perception of worthiness in relation to my socioeconomic background. I was basically the talented poor kid that got trampled over by the powerful rich parents and was denied an opportunity to represent my country. Wish my mum had challenged it so please do.

Pros and cons of challenging the decision? If your child has been denied a place to move forward this activity are there any cons to challenging the process and highlighting the conflict of interest? Possible outcomes may be your kid is admitted (but may be picked on by this coach), the decision may not be changed for this kid but they’ll think twice in future, or nothing will change and you’re just in the same position.

Life lesson: yes this could be a life lesson in not just accepting a situation but standing up and having your voice heard (metaphorically)

You have expressed this so much better than I could. In essence, this is exactly what I am trying to say.

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Having seen the devastation this 'process' has had on my child I understand how horrible and mentally destructive it can feel.

This is true and we've been left in a position where the process has been handled so poorly that we don't feel we have an awful lot to lose.

I don't want them to do anything with him. I would like it to be looked into and if there has been a conflict of interests for it to be raised and the process made the better for it going forward. I would not like to see the same happen to another child.

Are you sure your dc is at the same level? Could it be the others are better?
Just thinking whole picture

It doesn't really matter if DC os at the same level.

The issue is that the selection process is not transparent in hiw they are managing perceptions of bias.

Yes. There are external qualifications in this discipline and my child holds the current highest externally validated level in this discipline specifically, and also in closely related disciplines. My child also performs on a national level (think Team GB but not athletics)in a related discipline- none of the other candidates are close to this. Ironically, it’s Mr X who enters candidates for these qualifications, including those who have got places this year and have done lower levels with him as their teacher, so he is well aware of this.

Are you thinking your child wasn't selected, due to you cancelling private tuition? I'm not criticising because that would be my first thought.

I was considering the process in that were the others simply better.

Honestly, just writing this down has been rather therapeutic so thanks for that!

Fair enough. I hope they do that.

Yeah, I think you might be right there.

I think that is possibly a part of it, yes. That presents one conflict of interest. Also, Mr X still teaches several successful candidates which to my mind is a direct conflict of interest too, as even if he doesn’t mean to he is likely to favour his own students. Even if he doesn’t favour his own students the process is still compromised as there is a perception of bias.

I think your suspicions would be right. None of this would sit right with me. Nobody, who is gaining money from progressing the children, should be involved in the selection process; It stinks. I hesitated at calling it a conflict of interest but that's exactly what it is. More so if it were their own child involved in the process.

Thank you. I’ve felt so sad at what’s happened to my DC and slightly crazy about whether I’ve got a point to raise.

Go for it. Just make sure you think about how you're going to outline your concerns, without being accused of sour grapes. Good luck x

You could approach it from the opposite direction and tell them Mr T doesn't know how good your DD is any more because he doesn't teach her any more (as he does the other candidates) and they should discuss her with her teacher Y for an informed opinion.

I understand, but the point isn't about whether DC should have got a place, it's about whether the process is open and transparent and gives confidence in that the right decision has been made based on a set of sound principles.

It benefits everyone.

If the process had been clear on how a conflict of interest would be identified and managed, OPs son could have been confident that he simply didn't make the cut because he wasn't good enough, not wondering whether Mr X took an opportunity to reject him out of spite because his mum stopped paying for lessons.

In my workplace, Mr X would have declared his relationship with the child and excused himself from the conversation so as not to unduly influence the decision.

Or it could have been mitigated by having a clear process, such as each student must attend X% sessions and score X goals (something which can be objectively assessed as a pass and fail).

OP and her DC have no idea what, if any conflict and mitigation was carried out.

Hmm,

I can see why your child is upset.

my children were involved in music at quite a high level. Quite frequently there were not enough Akkadian flute specialists (made up example) in the area so the judges at music competitions etc were often local teachers of the Akkadian flute.

however the music competitions were set up so that detailed judges comments were passed on in writing to the competitors, and so while there was clearly potential for conflict of interest in practice the process was seen to be reasonably fair.

as a (maths) teacher myself I’ve been involved in the process for selecting teams for interschool competitions and in general teachers don’t favour those who they teach (although obviously there are exceptions).

in your shoes I would ask about the process.

Would OP have had a problem with the process if their DC was still having lessons from this person?

But OP you hit the mail on the head. Getting into a category 1 academy (your example of Man U) means that it is a ‘group’ decision of coaches, assistant coaches, head of academy, head of coaching, physios, sports psychologists and head of recruitment. These people are at the top of what they do and even if their own children have a trial they aren’t given a contract if they aren’t good enough. It’s as simple as that as it comes down to ability and potential.

So, you may be right, there may be a conflict of interest on one person, but the group has said no. And the basis of their decision has to be on ability and potential - otherwise how can it be judged?

I get your kid is devastated but you may need to seriously consider they might just not have been good enough. I know that sounds awful but it is a consideration. To continue your analogy - football is brutal. I have seen really good kids perform really well without any indication there was an issue and they were cut. The parents were convinced this was wrong - but you aren’t the expert.

Then work it through. What are you hoping to gain for this? The group will stand by their group decision - why would they sell themselves out. If there is a governing body there are rules and regulations that would have to be adhered to. All the group would have to say is based of their criteria and opinion your kid wasn’t good enough - because that’s what it is - an opinion.

You could also argue that Mr X knows exactly what it takes to succeed and now your child doesnt benefit from that. That just smart to be in with someone who knows - same with an 11+ tutor for example. They know the test and what is expected but they don’t take the test themselves.