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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think my mother shouldn't tell my sister that my son is a little shit?

24 replies

deaconblue · 01/06/2008 20:40

He was behaving badly yesterday but I dealt with it and today he's been delightful. He's 2, he's just been lumbered with a baby sister and he's bound to be a pain sometimes imo. And even if he is a little shit, I think she shouldn't say so out loud.
can't decide whether to take it up with her or pretend my sister didn't tell me and just be shirty for a while

OP posts:

maidamess · 01/06/2008 20:40

Your sister shouldn't have told you. Your Mum shouldn't have said it.

poppy34 · 01/06/2008 20:41

could your sister be stirring it up -even unintentionally?

and if she has some issue say it to you not your sister (yanbu to think that ds may be bit up and down at that age)

onepieceoflollipop · 01/06/2008 20:42

Both are out of order. There is something about close family members behaving like this that makes me really on your behalf.

Congratulations btw, I remember your threads a few weeks back where you had us on tenterhooks while we all decided if you were actually in labour or not!

gagarin · 01/06/2008 20:47

Your sister should keep what she hears to herself!

Original poster

deaconblue · 01/06/2008 20:48

yes, agree she should have kept quiet. Mum has said similar about her son in the past and and I think she quite likes it that it's my ds getting it in the neck currently. I really hate name calling.

OP posts:

gagarin · 01/06/2008 20:50

But how does she know your mum said similar about her son? Did someone pass it on to her?

Perhaps you are right and it's just her feeling relieved her ds is now under the radar of grandma's criticism!

Original poster

deaconblue · 01/06/2008 20:52

no mum used to say it to my sister's face. that makes her sound dreadful, she's not, just too vocal with her opinions

OP posts:

gagarin · 01/06/2008 20:54

I see - prob your mum is just being herself and your sister is feeling relieved!

Not a great way to communicate though is it? Just use them as negative role models and decide not to do that to your kids and feel saintly that you wouldn't have passed that sort of comment on.

LazyLinePainterJane · 01/06/2008 21:06

Your mum sounds lovely

Rachmumoftwo · 01/06/2008 21:11

Do the children hear themselves (or their cousins) being referred to in that way? That would concern me the most. The rest is just unnecessary griping on your mum's part, and sibling smugness on your sister's, methinks. Ignore them.

falcon · 01/06/2008 21:17

YANBU. I'd be furious.

He is being a typical two year old that's all, it wasn't so long ago that he was a baby and he has a lot to learn.

He's also had a big upset,the arrival of a new baby, which is quite an ordeal for any child particuarly one so young and it;s to be expected that he'll become more difficult than usual.

booge · 01/06/2008 21:18

Just to say of course a 2 year old with a new sister will have his moments, DS certainly did and sometimes they were more than moments.

yogabird · 01/06/2008 21:22

I agree with the above - it's the sister that's the problem, she should not have told you.

fishie · 01/06/2008 21:25

i'd leave it shopping, unless you think something really would be achieved by saying.

hunkermunker · 01/06/2008 21:26

Can you say, "Mum, DS may well be what you so delightfully term a "little shit" on occasion, but he is two. What, pray, is your excuse?"

Divastrop · 01/06/2008 21:31

why did she say it to your sister,though?she sounds like my mother,who used to tell my sister when she was p*ed off at me and vice-versa,because she didnt have the balls to say it to our faces

TheWoman · 01/06/2008 21:34

your sister should have kept her mouth shut.

LazyLinePainterJane · 02/06/2008 08:33

Well, maybe your sister should have known better, and maybe she was repeating what was said to spite you. BUT she wasn't the one that actually said it, your mum did that. Your sister was spiteful but one really shouldn't say horrid nasty things if you don't want to deal with the fallout when they get back to someone.

Beetroot · 02/06/2008 08:39

lol

your sister is a bit of a bitch I think

Original poster

deaconblue · 02/06/2008 10:59

have decided that grace and dignity are the way forward. I'm going to stop telling mum about him playing up and stop asking for any help with him. I think since moving near by I've probably invited her into our lives a bit too much and now she can't help but interfere. Saw her today and when she asked how ds had been yesterday I just replied "lovely". and he was...

OP posts:

Love2bake · 02/06/2008 11:44

I think you should mention to your Mum, and tell her it really upset your feelings.

She might also think twice about saying comments like that to your sister in the future.

Beetroot · 02/06/2008 13:12

ignore

she loves him really

Mamazon · 02/06/2008 13:13

Stop being so over sensetive.

VictorianSqualor · 02/06/2008 13:29

I think the way it was said and what she said could have easily been misconstrued.

I have often said about my Dc's that one of them was being a little shit, it's what kids do, and I'd take no offence at someone saying my child was being a little shit.

If they said they were/are a little shit I'd be more annoyed but tbh, I'd only say that about certain children I know that are little shits, and the reason they are is their parent's so it's their own fault, kind of. I wouldn't say to just anyone, but someone as close as my daughter/partner/best friend I probably would.

Flip