Page 17 | Given detention for lateness on tube strike day

Longingdreamer · 2025-09-09T14:18:20+00:00

My child was given a detention today, despite there being a tube strike in London, which has caused travel chaos. They early but were apparently still late: roads are almost at a standstill it seems. They get very upset by detentions, due to underlying neuro diversity. Aibu to think that the school shouldn't give these on a strike day for minor lateness? They usually give them, even if a child is only 1 minute late, but it seems wicked when it is out of their control.

Peacepleaselouise · 13/09/2025 09:43

EatingSleeping · 13/09/2025 09:38

If we accept the idea that school is preparation for work (which I don't actually because they are children and work is too diverse to be captured by school, see some schools insistence that blazers are preparing for work - where are all these blazer clad jobs?!) then I've been late to work for reasons beyond my control (weather, break down, transport issues, puking in pregnancy) and I don't get punished. Workplaces take the circumstances into account. I think this is unfair and petty actually, and it's not a lesson it's just an example of inflexibility

Agreed. Everyone I know was either late for work despite best endeavours or working from home. I don’t know anyone who was reprimanded. It really was exceptional circumstances.

GagMeWithASpoon · 13/09/2025 09:45

Baital · 13/09/2025 09:39

Also, the 'whole school' wasn't doing the journey from OP's house to the school.

Others would be within walking distance, others would be on a route less affected (DD's buses ended up getting there within her usual 10 minutes of contingency time). Some might be able to cycle, some live on routes completely unaffected - e.g. using an overground train route.

There's a worrying lack.of critical thinking in saying that because some people got there on time, EVERYONE could have got there on time. You are not comparing like for like, so you can't put the different outcomes down to making an effort/ not making an effort.

I left early and was late, DD left at her usual time and was on time. We had the same starting point, we both used buses, but had different end points and therefore different routes. Those routes were not affected in the same way.

It isn't rocket science...

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I had a boss who decided that because she made it to work on time on a heavy snow day by leaving the house at 4:30 am and walking, no one else had an excuse to be late. Nevermind difference in distance, physical ability, that some people had young children that couldn’t be left alone or taken anywhere at 4 am and so on. Absolute nutter!

CecilyP · 13/09/2025 09:46

Chilliprawnpls · 13/09/2025 05:58

And also as a very seasoned Londoner, what I meant by alternative route, and you’ll know this if you’re a Londoner….

say you need to get bus 238 from x stop to y stop due to the strike

however 238 is rammed

so back up option because the next 238 is likely to be rammed given the crowds surrounding the bus stop…. Walk 12 mins to a different route stop and get the 124 which will drop you 5 mins further away from school but is a less rammed route

and as a fellow Londoner.., you’ll know that often is the case

Edited

But there would be no guarantee that the 124 wouldn't be similarly rammed and you've wasted 12 minutes, so would be 17 minutes late instead of 5!

C8H10N4O2 · 13/09/2025 09:46

EatingSleeping · 13/09/2025 09:38

If we accept the idea that school is preparation for work (which I don't actually because they are children and work is too diverse to be captured by school, see some schools insistence that blazers are preparing for work - where are all these blazer clad jobs?!) then I've been late to work for reasons beyond my control (weather, break down, transport issues, puking in pregnancy) and I don't get punished. Workplaces take the circumstances into account. I think this is unfair and petty actually, and it's not a lesson it's just an example of inflexibility

Indeed, its high time the ridiculous fad for “zero tolerance” control of arbitrary minutiae andr actively unhealthy rules went out of fashion.

I’ve never been in a workplace like this, even in my early career let alone in the 21st century. The whole mindset is modelled on a sit com parody of a 1950s workplace conjured up by people who have never spent any time in such a place.

Baital · 13/09/2025 09:50

CecilyP · 13/09/2025 09:46

But there would be no guarantee that the 124 wouldn't be similarly rammed and you've wasted 12 minutes, so would be 17 minutes late instead of 5!

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Well exactly!

I spent the last half hour of my journey trying to work out whether to get out and walk, or whether the bus would be quicker once we were past the next pinch point!

Just as I would decide to get out and walk we would have a spirt of moving forward. I would congratulate myself on staying put, and we'd grind to a halt again!

Transport for London gave up.on providing live arrivals info as it was so unpredictable, so their website was no help.

I am buying a bike off a colleague this morning, as long as it isn't too small for me!

CecilyP · 13/09/2025 09:57

Maddy70 · 13/09/2025 08:34

Because ive been a teacher. If that didn't happen they wouldn't be giving detention. It's not rocket science , do you think they have the capacity to give the whole school a collective detention
Come on !
Busses were running , others made alternative arrangements. This is why discipline is so poor in schools. Back up the school, your child was late so gets a detention for his poor planning

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OP made alternative arrangement. Her DD took the bus and was only 5 minutes late which was pretty good going, given the circumstances. Not everyone would have been late, as many could be within walking distance from the school, even if they would normally take the tube, others could have used national rail, or they folks could have calculated just that bit better and left just in time. If this DD had left 10 to 15 minutes sooner, she could have been on time, but OP does not have a crystal ball, so she just got it very slightly wrong; we obviously can't all be as perfect as you!

Original poster

Longingdreamer · 13/09/2025 17:03

The school confirmed with me that 'a large number' of pupils had detentions for lateness over the strikes. Those who were in on time were the ones who lived very near and could walk.

As for the silly suggestions: no I couldn't take her to work, as I work for the NHS and my job is not flexible, and also has to be in person.

No, there wasn't another magic route a few minutes away that would be quicker. Everything was jammed.

OP posts:

Chilliprawnpls · 13/09/2025 17:12

Longingdreamer · 13/09/2025 17:03

The school confirmed with me that 'a large number' of pupils had detentions for lateness over the strikes. Those who were in on time were the ones who lived very near and could walk.

As for the silly suggestions: no I couldn't take her to work, as I work for the NHS and my job is not flexible, and also has to be in person.

No, there wasn't another magic route a few minutes away that would be quicker. Everything was jammed.

since Monday, and then Tuesday off, how’s it been?

CecilyP · 13/09/2025 17:29

Busses were running , others made alternative arrangements. This is why discipline is so poor in schools. Back up the school, your child was late so gets a detention for his poor planning

Surely, OP was equally responsible for suggesting a suitable time for her daughter to leave to catch the bus. If she backs up the school for punishing her DD, she would be unfairly punishing her child for her own mistake!

B33cka8 · 13/09/2025 18:53

It's important, not quite equivalent though is it!!

Original poster

Longingdreamer · 13/09/2025 19:32

CecilyP · 13/09/2025 17:29

Busses were running , others made alternative arrangements. This is why discipline is so poor in schools. Back up the school, your child was late so gets a detention for his poor planning

Surely, OP was equally responsible for suggesting a suitable time for her daughter to leave to catch the bus. If she backs up the school for punishing her DD, she would be unfairly punishing her child for her own mistake!

The problem was there was no way of predicting a suitable time.

Her discipline is fine. She is a straight A student: the type of student the school should be keen to have.

OP posts:

Original poster

Longingdreamer · 13/09/2025 19:33

Chilliprawnpls · 13/09/2025 17:12

since Monday, and then Tuesday off, how’s it been?

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Other days I was able to drive her in, due to my work pattern (I work shifts). There was still bad traffic, but she didn't have the problem of not being able to get on buses.

OP posts:

DonnaBanana · 13/09/2025 19:37

I’d tell my kid not to attend a detention as silly as that.

MNdrama · 13/09/2025 19:52

Longingdreamer · 10/09/2025 20:50

Thank you. I am not sure if people are being obtuse, or genuinely have no knowledge whatsoever of neurodiversity.

I have emailed the school asking for reasonable adjustments. It is utterly ridiculous that she has missed a whole day of school, rather than be a few minutes late, due to their inflexibility.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow. I can't wait for this strike to be over.

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You keep saying 'neurodiversity' but haven't mentioned any actual diagnosis

Maybe people are being obtuse, or maybe they just think you're using it because it's a buzzword

CecilyP · 13/09/2025 20:02

It's not really relevant. OP was just explaining how her well behaved DD was extra upset by getting a detention. They are usually given for bad behaviour (or used to be anyway!), so probably plenty of well-behaved NT kids would also be upset at getting a detention for something outwith their control - but they might just be able to shrug it off more easily.

SENsupportplease · 13/09/2025 21:41

My DS was getting repeated detentions for the bus either not turning up or being late. We told the school and they made a list of kids on that bus route. as long as it was verified there was a bus issue, the kids didn’t get detention.

seems a more reasonable response to me

SENsupportplease · 13/09/2025 21:45

FrippEnos · 09/09/2025 16:24

And cause more issues for the child.

What a brilliant piece of advice.

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Actually this shouldn’t cause issues at all. Blanket policies at times need challenging on an individual basis. My sons tutor has told him not to go to detentions before and has taken it up with the issuer.

Original poster

Longingdreamer · 13/09/2025 22:27

MNdrama · 13/09/2025 19:52

You keep saying 'neurodiversity' but haven't mentioned any actual diagnosis

Maybe people are being obtuse, or maybe they just think you're using it because it's a buzzword

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What a bizarre perspective. She is autistic.

OP posts:

Original poster

Longingdreamer · 13/09/2025 22:29

SENsupportplease · 13/09/2025 21:41

My DS was getting repeated detentions for the bus either not turning up or being late. We told the school and they made a list of kids on that bus route. as long as it was verified there was a bus issue, the kids didn’t get detention.

seems a more reasonable response to me

Edited

That sounds eminently sensible. Sadly this school is not sensible or reasonable.

OP posts:

NLG17 · 14/09/2025 05:22

Exactly this.
Also work in NHS central London, live outer London. Normally 50 minute commute each way. Many in NHS couldnt get in at all , many appts and ops canx. Hospital transport ran 10 hrs late because roads gridlocked.I left 4.30 am for a 7 am shift and STILL 40 min late. Then had to wait another 90 mins at end of shift as couldn't be relieved. Got home after 11pm knackered. Did this for 3 days.
The idea you can guestimate how long it takes in a 5 day strike to get from A to B is a clueless statement. Responsible adults cant get to workplaces on time , how are kids meant to?

NLG17 · 14/09/2025 05:25

viques · 09/09/2025 15:20

Well presumably the teachers had managed to get in on time…….

Nope

NLG17 · 14/09/2025 05:30

TartanBarmy · 09/09/2025 15:20

It was public knowledge there were tube strikes. Your DC should have left earlier to be at school
on time. School is practice for work. Imagine if surgeons just rolled in late because of a tube strike. Punctuality is important.

Many surgeons in London NHS were late in and that's with special dispensations such as parking in place.In fact much of NHS ground to a halt.
Typical ' I live in a bubble ' statement.

Feelingsosoblue · 14/09/2025 06:03

Do you live in London people saying the “child” should be on time ?

it’s impossible to leave early and get there on time… I left 1hr 30 minutes earlier than I usually do and I was still late for work.

the whole system totally shut down … everything was unpredictable … it literally came to a standstill

the school are being unrealisable and in my opinion abusive - in the real world employers give their employees leeway on strike days …. I would raise a serious complaint.

Chilliprawnpls · 14/09/2025 06:07

You clearly can’t stand the school op…

Is your daughter happy there?

Feelingsosoblue · 14/09/2025 06:12

Sounds like an abuse of power from the school

honestly schools and those in positions of power can still be abusive … in the 1980s teachers could hit kids… ask anyone who was at school during that time about corporal punishment, it was accepted, but what used to happen was physical abuse … and would be seen as that now.

detentions are a form of humiliation and don’t actually correct behaviour. Humiliating people into submission does not work…..

if I were you I would contact the governors of the school and the LA and put in a formal complaint.

for a ND child a detention can be massively traumatising and is not appropriate- especially for being late during a tube strike…

just out of interest can you refuse detentions given to your child by a school ? I would be