Given detention for lateness on tube strike day

[Longingdreamer]

My child was given a detention today, despite there being a tube strike in London, which has caused travel chaos. They early but were apparently still late: roads are almost at a standstill it seems.

They get very upset by detentions, due to underlying neuro diversity.

Aibu to think that the school shouldn't give these on a strike day for minor lateness?

They usually give them, even if a child is only 1 minute late, but it seems wicked when it is out of their control.

Completely agree and I have colleagues who were quoted £100 by Uber for a three or four mile trip on Monday morning.

@Longingdreamer I haven't read all of this but the school is bang out of order and I would write to the Head.

Poor kid - it is stressful. And I apologise for assuming you’d chosen the school as usually these schools are so oversubscribed, they go to first place choices. I’m retired now, but worked in schools with a very different ethos - my preference although I do recognise that the results from the tough discipline schools can be great and the really annoying low lever disruption can be far less prevalent, allowing the well behaved kids to work in peace. I hope she benefits from that at her school.

Hopefully she will be ok soon - I totally agree that it is very counter productive of the school and if I were in your shoes, I’d be tempted to keep her at home rather than risk another late, even if she does miss a whole day that way.

As I said in an earlier post, in the late afternoon I witnessed 11 year old pulls begging to be let on a bus that was packed and refusing more passengers.

The bus drivers often chuck the kids off as well, for example if any get upset about not being allowed on. I take my DC to school on the bus if we're running late and it's quite common for the drivers to demand that all school kids get off the bus (and let the adults stay on) and to refuse to move until they do. I once had to intervene when one of the little 11yos sitting behind me started hyperventilating. She was terrified by the whole thing. The kids are frequently sent to the back of the bus queues behind any adults.

I would not want to be a teenager travelling to school in London, but it's easy to see how so many end up much tougher and self-reliant than I was at that age.

Yes, maybe you’re right - over the years I’ve had everything thrown at me so nothing really phases me any more - there’s always a way! I once got booted off a train at Acton Town and trudged off in the snow to the next station, which was closed… all the way until Marble Arch where finally I could get back on a train. But that was back in the 90s where the mentality that you might simply not go into work didn’t exist.

I’m in south east London where there are pretty much no tubes so my journey isn’t impacted at all (obviously we get hit with train strikes instead), and my walk from the station in central London to the office didn’t seem any busier on the roads than usual.

Is all the gridlock outside of the centre?

I’m in North London, I live along the northern line, not far from Highgate tube / Tufnell Park station, and it’s seriously bonkers! I’ve never seen it this bad before after 25 years in London. I tried to drive to Hampstead and it was crazy! A mistake!

Ah right, well, that’s what comes of living in north London 🤣🤣🤣. Though you’ll have been laughing during all the rail strikes and engineering works that have beset us over the years.

I guess if more people walked rather than driving then the roads would be clearer for the buses. Obviously walking isn’t an option for everyone but I bet it is for quite a few who got in their cars. Yes, you’ll have to leave earlier but hey, you get your steps in before you’ve even started work!

Obviously walking isn’t an option for everyone but I bet it is for quite a few who got in their cars

Based on what? I’m in London and I know precisely one person who lives within theoretical walking distance of work and they have children to drop off in two different locations on the way to work.

Its been insane, anybody lucky enough to be able to walk to work will have done so simply because of the traffic. Its been amongst the worst transport problems I’ve ever seen in London, including during the complete power outage (because that only lasted 24 hours). Walking and buses simply cannot absorb the millions of commuters.

There is a serious safety issue for Londoners at this level of travel disruption.

Haha true!

I say this as someone who did try and drive this week 😳 but I can’t believe how many people are in their cars this week!

(Having said that, I don’t live too far from a couple of large private schools and there’s always traffic from those schools - I usually avoid those roads, but this week has been another level of traffic absolutely everywhere - not just schools!)

I doubt the private schools will be giving detention to their pupils who have trouble getting in 🙄.

Well of course - but everyone is leaving an hour earlier/using alternative so it’s just chaos.

And the fact that however many routes you know, they are all screwed up at this level of disruption.

We are not talking about leaves on one of the tracks here which alone cause chaos. Its the absence of the primary transport route for millions of people from in and out of London and it runs at capacity.

The buses and roads already run near to capacity at peak times and simply don’t have the extra capacity to absorb anything close to those numbers of people.

Its like saying put 50 people into a mini - it simply isn’t. possible.

I think that all students have to accept that they will get detentions for things outwith their control several times during their school careers. My son got a detention in his first week of term because the level crossing in the village was stuck closed, so the bus couldn't get out. Everybody from his village got the detention.
He is aware that he could get a lift into town with me, but it would mean getting there for 7.30 and waiting outside the school until it opens at 8.
I have told him that if he chooses to get the school bus then he is choosing the consequences if the bus is cancelled. Whether he thinks arriving 1hr 15 minutes early is more hassle than a potential detention is up to him.

I think your DC will have to suck it up, and next time leave even earlier.

Why are you teaching them that this is acceptable? I genuinely do not understand cos it's not acceptable to treat anyone this way, let alone kids.

It's one thing to learn consequences for your actions you've control over, quite another to be punished for things you have absolutely NO control over.

What exactly is it teaching them?

It is absolutely bizarre to me that people are ok with their kids being treated this way and view it as "character forming".

Absolutely ludicrous. Our school manages to take note of issues with the designated school transport, why is it so hard?

Depends what you call “theoretical walking distance”. An hour seems fine to me, for example. DH used to occasional walk to work, took him an hour and 15 mins. Wouldn’t do it every day, by occasionally - why not? He’s perfectly capable.

Not everyone is dropping kids off at schools.

I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at an hour for a healthy, able bodied adult who is free to go direct from home to work location.

No, not everyone is dropping off kids but most commuters are not battling roads and transport for the lols - they do it because its the only practical means to get to work or get to work combined with other stops. In the current situation those who can walk already do so, even if they elect to drive/bus it other days.

The notion that the millions using the tube into or within London every day could simply walk to work or squeeze into the already maxed out buses and roads is just nonsense. As I said upthread - total closure of the tube network for a week is a safety issue in London.

I think that some of the views on here are due to the London centric nature of how transport issues are seen across the country.

Not everyone has a good transport network to rely on.
So when shit like this goes down in London, I think that there is a "suck it up buttercup" attitude in play due to the responses that Londoners often give to others.

Quite probably but also I think it's hard to grasp the size and scale of the impact unless you live in a similar city with similar commuting volumes. It simply wouldn’t be possible without a big mass transit system (which doubtless contributes to the increased commercial investment in cities improving public transit).

She is off sick today, likely due to the anxiety caused by yesterday.

If you genuinely suspect your daughter suffered such acute anxiety regarding yesterday’s detention (of which you say lots others had too), that she needs the day after off school to recover - then you have more far serious issues to address OP

This would be a completely normal reaction for a neuro diverse child and therefore I am sure OP is acutely aware of these issues.

I remember years ago being late to work which was extremely rare. It was due to torrential rain causing floods in and around the area I worked. I lived approx 30 miles away but it was the last 3 to 5 miles that was the problem plus I wasn't totally au fait with the area to know other routes. Turned out our overall boss ended up being late as well so nothing was ever said.

I don't know where you were walking, but I walked from Embankment tube station to New Street Square yesterday (having fortuitously discovered that the Northern Line was running!) and it was rammed on the road; I've never seen it so busy. I crossed the roads between stopped traffic, and this was after 9 a.m.

Thank you. I have a child with neurodiversity causing anxiety. I mentioned this in the OP. Clearly, a lot of people are not aware of the reality of this.