To be p*ssed off that people think I'm odd for being 30 and not driving?

[OracleInaCoracle]

I like public transport. ds loves trains and the bus may take longer, but he sees more of our town than he would in a car.

running a car is bloody expensive.

we should all be reducing our carbon footprint, this is one of my contributions.

we walk, a LOT. ds is very fit and healthy and sees/hears/smells things first hand.

i CHOOSE not to drive, it is not a rite of passage or a necessity, so less of the shock please!

where are you riven?

I don't like the way people portray it as a "life skill" like reading and basic maths. It absolutely is not. If public transport were clean, regular and reliable everywhere, most people wouldn't need cars most of the time.

In 200 years we may all have programmable green bubble-cars which run on solar power and float above the road, but people will still need to read and write.

I hate the macho associations with it - exactly the sort of thing quoted above about boys learning as soon as they are 17. Hate all the slavering over bits of metal. Cars bore me. Can you imagine getting that excited about your washing-machine? "Check out the spin-cycle on this baby, she gets up to 1300 revs. Lovely smooth white bodywork too."

i think when im feeling a bit pissed off it gets to me, id like the freedom to be able to choose when to hop into a car and visit my mum instead of depending on her to come to me, and to go to the town and shop or take the children out somewhere, apparently its the cost which is a fair point to make, however even if a magic fairy went heres a load of cash book your lessons now i still wouldnt be able to do them as there is noone to mind the children. No, oh wouldnt look after the 4month old hes actually rather scared of the baby, the 3yr old hes great with she can tell him what she needs and he can do that except she cries for me whenever im not there, that being the whole once in her life when i had to give birth earlier this year and what a pain in the a* the c-section was, i couldnt get home the same day! Not for anyother reason than how distressed dd was, he finds it hard to cope with. ive read this back and laughed, god!

pmsl UQD although i am stupidly besotted with my new washing machine (indesit moon- sooooo pretty)

Having racked my brains, I can't think of one single person I know who doesn't drive and have their own car.

Prolly because have always lived in the country where you start your driving lessons as soon as you're 17 or you'd never go anywhere.

i grew up in the countryside too and would walk everywhere

mummymusings

I'd be struggling to walk the 50 miles round trip to work every day, tho'

lol, in that case you are let off.

When we went to post-natal group, the women would all talk about baby accessories and Denby plates and the men would talk about jobs and cars. Yaaaaaawn. I wanted to punch each and every one of them. Ghastly people.

All through my twenties people drove me everywhere I needed to go and I could always have a drink while they stayed sober. I never had to pay an mot, tax, insurance or loan repayments or for petrol.....

it's actually very clever, but shhshshshshhshshshshs!

Driving is not an essential life skill. It's a useful skill that some people might consider essential due to their own particular circumstances - work, hobbies, where they choose to live. Many other people live very happy and fulfilled lives without a car.

The only time it is a problem is when people (often low-income) are excluded from work, educational, social etc opportunities because they lack access to appropriate and affordable transport.

If there was a good network of affordable public transport, then many people would be able to do without cars for some or all of the time.

I can drive, techically (haven't done so for 20years). It took 3 years and 5 attempts to pass my driving test, and the few times I drove after passing I found it simultaneously boring and terrifying. And there was no way I could afford a car at the time. Or subsequently. And I never really needed one - even in the days of regional shows a month, when it probably would have been a bit easier to have a car rather than doing endless battle with farking Virgin Trains, I just got on with it.
If for some reason we had to move into the wilds of the countryside, or DS or I developed major mobility problems, then I would probably get a car of some sort, but right now, there's no need to have one, so why bother?

i dont understand why they are such status symbols. if you need to drive fair enough, if you need a car- lots of people feel that they do(and some genuinely do). but why get a car that you dont need? why get two cars, or a car thats bigger than you need?

I thought I learned late (at 24 or something!)
Have never had a car, and don't immediately plan to get one.
BUT I had a really interesting conversation with a non-driving friend recently, who said that she was really cross with herself for not learning when it would have been easier. She's one of 3, and 2 of them don't drive, which meant that her 70+ mum had to do lots of the driving on a recent family holiday - very stressful, and she felt really guilty for not giving her mum the option to not drive.
So, while I'm not convinced by the 'drive because if you don't you'll regret it when you're old' thing (do you miss what you've never had? surely your life will be well set up for the inevitable car-free-ness of old age) I do think that it's good at least to have the option of ferrying around aged relatives etc.

i do see your point there littlefrog

I have failed my driving test six times, i have dyspraxia so find it hard to drive.... I no longer wish to learn to drive mainly because of the way other people drive today... too much speed....

I am shocked that people are shocked by you not driving, what does it matter? I drive and have done as soon as I could at 17 but i have a few friends that can't drive and I have never thought it odd. Those that can't drive all say they wish they could though, esp when their train is cancelled or the bus never turned up.

I think that driving is a useful skill to have. DH and I are both really glad that our parents basically pushed us into learning when we were 17/18. I think I would have found it much harder afterwards. DH and I share a car though, so at least one of us walks/cycles every day, and we try to make it both of us (not happening now that pregnancy is crippling my ability to stride out with the pushchair. ).

Having passed my test at 21 but not had the need/confidence to start driving on my own until my 30s I can see both sides of this argument.

I do not think anyone should make a judgement on you for not driving. I felt these kind of vibes too when I didn't drive. You are also right that there are many advantages of not driving everywhere; cheaper, better for the environment, a healthier option in terms of being fit and not sedentary in a car all the time.

However, if you can afford to I would try to learn to drive and get the test. It is a useful skill to have and does not mean you have to suddenly stop walking, using the bus or train. However, it maybe be a benefit for going for a job not accessible by public transport, certain holidays, transporting the odd heavy purchase etc. It would be harder to learn to drive when you are older if you suddenly find that then you need to drive. Also when your children are older maybe you would need to pick them up from a party late at night where transport wasn't available. So overall i think driving is a useful skill to have but that doesn't mean that one has to drive everywhere all the time.

I do feel much happier now that I can drive my children around. Before driving I had the odd taxi ride or lift that was too fast and put my children's life in danger. I would rather have the control to drive my children within the speed limits when I need to. I am also able to take my children to places such as National Trust gardens that were previously inaccessible by public transport.

I agree that on the whole people drive too much and do not walk enough..I'm trying to walk more at the moment, for the environment and to lose weight.

The other thing I don't get is the whole "women draping themselves over car bonnets" thing. It's not that I find it particularly exploitative, it just isn't in the least erotic. And my car-nut friends agree!

Surely if you like cars, they are just getting in the way of your examining the bodywork properly, and if you like attractive ladies (as 90% of men do) then there are far more interesting things they could be doing than lying uncomfortably on a piece of metal in a swimsuit.