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AIBU?

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Original poster

to not have realised how scary it is to see/try to help someone in a fainting spell

36 replies

DervlaGlass · 08/09/2025 22:56

DH fainted this evening and it was like he just left his body and was slumped and wouldn't react to anything I said. His eyes were open and it was like he was just the body without the person. Took me ages to realise something was wrong as he was kind of propped against a wall so didn't just collapse (thank God keep thinking what if he hit his head)

I've never seen someone close to me faint and I'd always imagined it was just oh gosh fan them a bit then it's ok again but wasn't at all- his blood pressure plummeted and he took ages to be able to get up

I know it's not a big health deal in itself but he has a lot of underlying health conditions and now I feel scared to go to sleep in case he's not ok in the night

I know this isn't really an aibu except about my own ignorance but feeling a bit alone with this

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 08/09/2025 22:58

Oh you poor thing. How’s he doing now? I’m the fainter, combination of factors none serious, but I’ve never seen anyone else do it. Sorry you went through it and I hope you do manage to get some sleep.

SkaneTos · 08/09/2025 23:02

That sounds scary! For him and for you!
I hope he is feeling better now!

Original poster
DervlaGlass · 08/09/2025 23:03

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/09/2025 22:58

Oh you poor thing. How’s he doing now? I’m the fainter, combination of factors none serious, but I’ve never seen anyone else do it. Sorry you went through it and I hope you do manage to get some sleep.

he's fine now thank you for asking - there was actually a doctor there (complete with blood pressure monitor!) so he gave us some reassurance that it should be ok. DH actually doesn't remember it at all and is now touch wood quite chipper have been bringing him liquids to keep him nicely orthostatic.

He says he didn't really know it was coming - is that normal in your experience? im really annoying him by asking every five minutes if he feels ok

OP posts:
ninjahamster · 08/09/2025 23:04

Oh you poor thing, it can be quite a shock. One of my daughters is a regular fainter, she goes absolutely white as a sheet for a while afterwards. I hope your husband is ok x

KpopDemon · 08/09/2025 23:07

My mum fainted once at her birthday dinner! God I thought she’d had a stroke, I was terrified. Turns out she’d been feeling a bit below par after a nasty cold, and her oxygen levels dropped. She was out for two minutes, which felt like a ludicrously long time.

She was a fainter when I was a kid so it shouldn’t have surprised me. But yes it did scare the bejeezers out of me so you have my sympathy!

Jonismorf · 08/09/2025 23:08

I'd have this investigated further if I were you. It's a bit unusual for someone with no history of similar events to just faint whilst sitting down.

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/09/2025 23:08

DervlaGlass · 08/09/2025 23:03

he's fine now thank you for asking - there was actually a doctor there (complete with blood pressure monitor!) so he gave us some reassurance that it should be ok. DH actually doesn't remember it at all and is now touch wood quite chipper have been bringing him liquids to keep him nicely orthostatic.

He says he didn't really know it was coming - is that normal in your experience? im really annoying him by asking every five minutes if he feels ok

Show quote history

I haven’t done it in a while thankfully but it’s varied completely from everything going black and feeling like I’m falling down a tunnel with rushing in my ears to not having a clue till I’m at the bottom of a flight of stairs or otherwise on the ground and someone’s been standing over me. Fainting itself isn’t usually that worrying, as you say, it’s more the risk of bashing your head on something hard or other fall related injuries.

I’m glad he’s alright. Sounds like he’s in good safe hands.

Doctor1988 · 08/09/2025 23:08

So he collapsed without warning? If so this may not have been a simple faint, and I would recommend he sees his GP ASAP for an assessment.

Also if he’s collapsed without warning and has a driving license he now won’t be able to drive until it’s been investigated +/- treated. He needs to let the DVLA and his insurance company know, and the rules for unheralded syncope is 6 months no driving unless a cause is found and treated.

It may never happen again but needs to be taken seriously x

Zapx · 08/09/2025 23:10

I’ve been a chronic fainter in the past. Fainted into/onto/in front of loads of people. I did always make sure I apologised afterwards… but yes I believe it did look pretty alarming for some of the occasions. Really hope he (and you!) recover quickly.

Original poster
DervlaGlass · 08/09/2025 23:22

Doctor1988 · 08/09/2025 23:08

So he collapsed without warning? If so this may not have been a simple faint, and I would recommend he sees his GP ASAP for an assessment.

Also if he’s collapsed without warning and has a driving license he now won’t be able to drive until it’s been investigated +/- treated. He needs to let the DVLA and his insurance company know, and the rules for unheralded syncope is 6 months no driving unless a cause is found and treated.

It may never happen again but needs to be taken seriously x

He's under regular care with a renal dept and we were in a ridiculously hot room so I think it's probably quite explicable but I'll get him to tell his consultant anyway. We don't have a car fortunately! (Is that the case for all fainting? I can see it would make sense I just didn't realise - as above obviously I was quite naive!)

OP posts:
JDM625 · 08/09/2025 23:27

It can be very scary seeing a loved on in that situation.

OP- have you ever done a first aid course? I'd look into doing one. It might give you some confidence going forward, especially as your DH multiple health concerns.

Original poster
DervlaGlass · 08/09/2025 23:28

JDM625 · 08/09/2025 23:27

It can be very scary seeing a loved on in that situation.

OP- have you ever done a first aid course? I'd look into doing one. It might give you some confidence going forward, especially as your DH multiple health concerns.

Good idea. I did many years ago but I think all the basic rules have changed. I have a bit of a fear of people choking (always telling them to chew carefully it's probably insanely annoying) so would like to for that reason too.

OP posts:
Angrymum22 · 09/09/2025 00:25

Doctor1988 · 08/09/2025 23:08

So he collapsed without warning? If so this may not have been a simple faint, and I would recommend he sees his GP ASAP for an assessment.

Also if he’s collapsed without warning and has a driving license he now won’t be able to drive until it’s been investigated +/- treated. He needs to let the DVLA and his insurance company know, and the rules for unheralded syncope is 6 months no driving unless a cause is found and treated.

It may never happen again but needs to be taken seriously x

Utter rubbish. As a dentist I’ve seen hundreds of fainting episodes for all sorts of reasons. Not once has anyone had their licence taken off them.
I suspect you are confused with seizures.

It might be a good idea for your DH to be checked over by his GP OP. Particularly if he is not prone to fainting.

People faint if they have low blood sugar, low blood pressure, possibly anaemia. My DH was prone to postural hypotension, feeling faint when he stood up quickly, and when he started having mild TIAs he first thought that they were just dizzy spells from standing too quickly. He then had a full stroke. We don’t know if his blood pressure was high before hand since he’d had no symptoms, but it’s possible. It did happen a few months after having Covid and it does appear to be a risk factor albeit rare.

When he started having dizzy spells I did urge him to see his GP and suggested it could be early signs of something more serious, but despite my qualifications he generally dismisses my concerns. He tends to take more notice now funnily enough.

Your GP will be happy to check him out. Make he writes down an account of what led up to it. Better to be cautious.

As for fainting it can be very alarming. Occasionally sudden lack of oxygen to the brain can cause non-epileptic seizures. I had one patient who had such violent seizures he pull a load of muscles in his back. We had to call an ambulance because everytime he came round and tried to move the pain caused him to faint again. It took over an hour for the paramedics to move him and they had to give him gas and air to try and get him to relax. My DSis, also a dentist, was taking a tooth out of a child and their DF fainted, cut his head open on the corner of the work surface and needed several stitches. I now check all parents before we start and we discourage people accompanying adult patients unless absolutely necessary.

The first thing you should do is lie them flat and raise the legs. Holding them up just slows recovery. It’s easy in a dental chair but not so easy in other situations.

Original poster
DervlaGlass · 09/09/2025 06:30

KpopDemon · 08/09/2025 23:07

My mum fainted once at her birthday dinner! God I thought she’d had a stroke, I was terrified. Turns out she’d been feeling a bit below par after a nasty cold, and her oxygen levels dropped. She was out for two minutes, which felt like a ludicrously long time.

She was a fainter when I was a kid so it shouldn’t have surprised me. But yes it did scare the bejeezers out of me so you have my sympathy!

Yes it's so much longer and scarier than I'd thought! He still seems ok this morning, more upbeat than me tbh.

OP posts:
Original poster
DervlaGlass · 09/09/2025 06:35

Angrymum22 · 09/09/2025 00:25

Utter rubbish. As a dentist I’ve seen hundreds of fainting episodes for all sorts of reasons. Not once has anyone had their licence taken off them.
I suspect you are confused with seizures.

It might be a good idea for your DH to be checked over by his GP OP. Particularly if he is not prone to fainting.

People faint if they have low blood sugar, low blood pressure, possibly anaemia. My DH was prone to postural hypotension, feeling faint when he stood up quickly, and when he started having mild TIAs he first thought that they were just dizzy spells from standing too quickly. He then had a full stroke. We don’t know if his blood pressure was high before hand since he’d had no symptoms, but it’s possible. It did happen a few months after having Covid and it does appear to be a risk factor albeit rare.

When he started having dizzy spells I did urge him to see his GP and suggested it could be early signs of something more serious, but despite my qualifications he generally dismisses my concerns. He tends to take more notice now funnily enough.

Your GP will be happy to check him out. Make he writes down an account of what led up to it. Better to be cautious.

As for fainting it can be very alarming. Occasionally sudden lack of oxygen to the brain can cause non-epileptic seizures. I had one patient who had such violent seizures he pull a load of muscles in his back. We had to call an ambulance because everytime he came round and tried to move the pain caused him to faint again. It took over an hour for the paramedics to move him and they had to give him gas and air to try and get him to relax. My DSis, also a dentist, was taking a tooth out of a child and their DF fainted, cut his head open on the corner of the work surface and needed several stitches. I now check all parents before we start and we discourage people accompanying adult patients unless absolutely necessary.

The first thing you should do is lie them flat and raise the legs. Holding them up just slows recovery. It’s easy in a dental chair but not so easy in other situations.

Show quote history

Thanks this is helpful to read. Id never thought before about what a big part of managing dentistry situations this must be. I hope your DH is ok after his stroke.

I think I'm going to have to toughen up a bit!

OP posts:
Oldglasses · 09/09/2025 07:59

I was a fainter from a child to my 40s. Now I have epilepsy so sometimes lose consciousness then too although it’s different.

With fainting I always knew I was going to faint and then passed out for maybe 30 seconds. Being out for 2 mins is a long time.

usually it was from standing up in school assembly, being ill, banging my funny bone, getting up quickly!!
You need your head lower than your heart so the blood goes back quickly to your brain. That’s why if you feel faint it’s sit on floor w head between your legs.

PaniKotta · 09/09/2025 08:23

One of my kids used to faint regularly from aged two to about 8 which was scary the first couple of times, but I got used to dealing with it. This summer DH and I were visiting a NT-type house and were up in the attics when he said he didn't feel well....and sat on a low wall. Then his eyes rolled up and he was out for the count. Fortunately he was sitting not standing as he's 15 stone and 6'2. I yelled "help" and people rallied round..... he was in and out of it for about half an hour..... But the passing doctor and staff were really good, presumably the staff train for such situations and eventually they evacuated us and we went and had a walk in the fresh air and some food (he'd had his breakfast so it wasn't low blood sugar) and although he didn't feel 100% for a while he's been fine since..... We reckon it was the heat and the enclosed space. But yes, op, it is absolutely terrifying to see your DH pass out.

JennieTheZebra · 09/09/2025 08:33

@Doctor1988 @Angrymum22 You're both kind of right. The DVLA distinguishes between syncope with prodrome and syncope without prodrome. Broadly speaking, if you have “warning signs” before you faint (feeling faint, dizzy, shaky etc), and so have enough time to pull over, then you can drive, while if you don’t you can’t. They also distinguish between syncope while sitting and standing, with sitting obviously being more dangerous while driving. This is the DVLA handbook for healthcare professionals which explains it in more detail-syncope is from p23. https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/66c8b0d0e39a8536eac052f4/assessing-fitness-to-drive-august-2024.pdf

Honeypizza · 09/09/2025 09:28

I'm glad he was okay! It is horrible to see though. I once saw a lady faint after giving blood and it's (very sadly) put me off donating again.

5foot5 · 09/09/2025 09:43

Has it happened to him before? I have fainted a small number of times, so not a regular fainter, but usually now I can recognise the feeling coming on so get myself in to a safe position or sit with my head down until the feeling wears off.

The worst for me was fainting at the top of the stairs and falling down them. I know that a trigger for me is if I am woken very suddenly in the night and jump out of bed to react. The faint doesn't happen straight away but can come on a minute or so later. That's how I fell down the stairs after getting up to see to DD who was ill in the night. Another time our burglar alarm went off and I ran down to investigate. Thankfully that time I was at the bottom of the stairs and recognised the feeling coming on so got myself on a safe sitting position to recover.

Another time for me I was overcome by heat in a restaurant in Spain. Fortunately the chef was an ex paramedic and he found me a nice couch under a fan and I lay there whole DH and DD finished their meal!

5foot5 · 09/09/2025 09:45

Honeypizza · 09/09/2025 09:28

I'm glad he was okay! It is horrible to see though. I once saw a lady faint after giving blood and it's (very sadly) put me off donating again.

Oh yes that's another one I've done. Weirdly though I was the first of four or five people at that session to faint. No idea what they were doing that day

Doctor1988 · 09/09/2025 22:28

JennieTheZebra · 09/09/2025 08:33

@Doctor1988 @Angrymum22 You're both kind of right. The DVLA distinguishes between syncope with prodrome and syncope without prodrome. Broadly speaking, if you have “warning signs” before you faint (feeling faint, dizzy, shaky etc), and so have enough time to pull over, then you can drive, while if you don’t you can’t. They also distinguish between syncope while sitting and standing, with sitting obviously being more dangerous while driving. This is the DVLA handbook for healthcare professionals which explains it in more detail-syncope is from p23. https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/66c8b0d0e39a8536eac052f4/assessing-fitness-to-drive-august-2024.pdf

Edited

Yes, I’m a doctor and my reply was based on medical guidelines

The OP didn’t mention any symptoms preceding the collapse, hence my question ‘did he collapse without warning?

Someone who has collapsed without warning cannot drive for 6 months or until the problem is diagnosed and treated.

True vasovagal syncope aka ‘fainting’ is of course different. The subsequent OP post saying the room was very hot does make it being a faint more likely, but he’d need to have had prodromal symptoms for anyone to say it was that.

Doctor1988 · 09/09/2025 22:29

PS I’m a fainter myself. It really is awful!

duffed · 09/09/2025 22:34

I tend to feel nauseous before I faint, and am aware of feeling off beforehand- but I suppose he could have put these feelings down to being in a stuffy hot room.

Blessedbethefruitz · 09/09/2025 22:50

Im a low BP fainter - not sure if that's the typical type? I have to get up v slowly in the morning and drink lots of fluids first. I have warning signs, I start to feel fuzzy and then get impending doom feelings and then I blackout, collapse and vomit. I go grey and sweat profusely and shake.

Mostly I can avoid it by laying down, feet up, if i fewl it starting, and preparation for mornings. Last time I fainted was 2 months ago after an enema (hospital for sigmoidoscopy), they had to give me IVs and the nasal oxygen. Its the feeling of dread that really bothers me the most.