To think most people don’t actively focus on making a good life for themselves?

[ForBreezySloth]

It feels like a lot of people just go through the motions - work, home, scrolling on their phones, without really thinking about how to build a life they actually enjoy. I’m trying to be more intentional about what I do but it’s hard to know where to start.

If you’ve made a conscious effort to improve your life, what actually worked? How do you stay focused on making your life better instead of just drifting through?

I converted to Catholicism, of course I start to drift again at times, but prayer and sacraments help keep me on track.

I changed jobs which has given me a better quality of life, but I'm very happy with what I've got and find happiness from the simple things like my cat and my children.

I am quite happy to drift through life to be honest! Do you feel unfulfilled with your life and that's why you want to make a change?

I think I understand. This might be me.

I married exceptionally young, 17. So have been married 25 years this year.

I was a solicitor, DH is a tennant farmer. We worked and worked and worked, and I lost baby after baby. (10). So we adopted twins. Then I was pregnant, and had two in 18 months. So I resigned. After twins actually, I could not for a second leave them.

I used all my partnership money and bought a tiny cottage and renovated it myself. It’s now a holiday let.

we are poor. Very poor. We have chickens, feral ponies, we get meat from the farm sometimes. I grow veg, fruit, I swop as much as I can with other parents. I work in the school three mornings for a basic minimum wage and a regular income.

other than that we wing it. We don’t have mod cons. We have a clean and basic rented home. We have a great deal of fun, and a lot of challenges.

Would I go back to career? Not a chance. I mean don’t get me wrong, this is hard, but it is wholesome if that makes sense. My brain power is used but more in different ways. I’m here, whenever I’m needed, we are fed, even if it’s omelette. We have milk, we have the basics.

So now when people say, are you going back to work? Not a chance. I’m focused on building my home, my little cottage, a very simple life.

I changed jobs from long hours and high stress to a low-stress 9-5, for a better life and a more sustainable career - I’m now on mat leave and SO glad I’m not going back to my former super stressful job.

We save and invest a lot so we can retire early / to give us more options.

Making an effort to build more community where we live - can def be hard.

I’d like to be fitter!

I don’t feel completely unfulfilled but I think I’ve hit a point where just drifting isn’t enough anymore. I’ve been questioning how much of my routine actually aligns with the life I want, rather than the life I’ve just ended up with.

It’s reassuring to hear you’re found joy in the simpler things. That’s part of what I’m aiming for too, just with more intentional behind it I guess.

Poor mental health often stops you having a good life, it has me.
Living alone, and not financially well off.
Mid 50s, feel like this is my life over now