To think weaponised incompetence is real but not as common as people make out?

[TheHangryPeachTraybake]

I know weaponised incompetence exists, people deliberately doing things badly so they don’t have to do them again. But I feel like it’s become a catch-all explanation for any kind of laziness, forgetfulness or just not being good at something.

Some people genuinely don’t know how to do certain tasks or just have different standards. Not every man who loads the dishwasher “wrong” is plotting to never do it again. And not every woman who struggles with tech is pretending so someone else will do it for her.

Is it really that widespread or has it become an easy way to explain away normal differences in skill and effort?

I disagree, I think it’s extremely common. I suspect most people who do it have not given thought to how manipulative it is.

I don't understand when people say someone has done something "wrong" to be honest, people do things differently, my husband washes up differently to me and that's fine because it's getting done, he also does laundry in a way i probably wouldn't but calling it weaponised incompetence is ridiculous, people just do things differently, I have more issue with control freaks who think other people do things "wrong" on purpose purely because they aren't doing it how they would, it's a term I hate because it's used too much for things a lot of people can't help.

There are more and less efficient ways of doing things - and less effective ways, eg washing up so the dishes aren't properly clean or hanging laundry so it doesn't dry or dries with wonky seams or peg marks. There's a difference between less efficient and less effective and weaponised incompetence is when people persist with the latter despite being shown or told about it.

I agree OP.

I think it's more common that they can't do something very well, but crucially they can't be arsed to learn.

They're quite happy to let others do these things for them and if they lived alone, they'd still be quite happy not to do those things very well.

It's more apathy than weaponised incompetence for many people.

Weaponized incompetence isn't necessarily doing something deliberately wrong on purpose. It can also be not caring enough about something essential or not putting enough effort into getting right because you're safe in the knowledge that if you don't do it right someone else will do it for you