How old to live in the barn ???

[Newchapter35]

we are trying to buy a new house but I’m not sure our relationship will survive the many debates 🤣🤣
Picture of floor plan of one house - the barn has consent already for 2 bed cottage.

I am trying to explain to DP that it’s unreasonable to move a child out there until college 🤣🤣🤣
he is saying he doesn’t understand why it can not be sooner as a teen would love it.

who is being unreasonable?

No way would I let a child basically have their own house. Do you not have other plans for the cottage?

So you're having this fight about a house you don't yet own, which has a barn that hasn't yet been converted into a cottage in which a teenager of any age could possibly live? I imagine that, even if you buy the house immediately, and start work on the barn as soon as you can find a builder and architect, your child might well have left university and gone to work in Tokyo by the time it's ready for an inhabitant!

This living arrangement doesn't seem stable. They'd certainly never learn to close doors behind them.

Creative humble brag

Well eventually when all the children have grown up it will likely be the guest house for them and their children as we are not moving again !

That sounds great!!

I think this might not be the house for you.

IME a successful renovation doesn’t work if you’ve got two people with strong views. You end up debating with each other all the time and getting nothing done, costing time and money.

Also I have seen a few houses where the outbuildings of a small house have been overdeveloped and they are difficult to sell and you can end up not getting the money back. What works better is creating two separate homes. Could you not convert the barn into a bigger house and then just sell the other house off.

Oh and no I wouldn’t let my young teen live in a separate house. He regularly forgets to shut the door, can be known to not turn taps off, is not very tidy, plus if left alone he’d just watch mildly unsuitable stuff on you tube until all hours. As he gets older I’d be worried about the temptation to party/ for it to become the place for all the kids to hang out space to drink, have sex etc without a parent within earshot and/ or telling them to go home! What’s more it’s important for teens especially to be part of a family all the time and learn, ideally, some manners/ social awareness etc.

So this I am aware the house is not as “big “ the issue is we need certain things outside that can’t be compromised. Despite the comment above around bragging the actual house is very modest sized.
this is why he suggested when the children get older ( one is significantly older than the other 3 ) we could use that Space. I don’t think that’s practical at all !

Well Jesus was fairly young.

Although I don't think he stayed long in it.

Sorry, I might not have been clear. Regardless of the teenager issue, two smallish houses being sold together is quite a difficult to sell. And often you don’t get the money back as people who have the budget for a 6 bed house don’t want 6 beds spread across 2 houses. If you are determined to buy this could you not get planning to turn one of the barns into a 3/4 bedroom place rather than the existing 2 bed planning permission. Because yes, no way is the house itself big enough for a family of 6!

We have a separate barn (right next to the house) which we use as a games room/guest annex. We let the teens have occasional sleepovers there but would not ever let them move out there.

How many kids have you got? Presumably more than 3 as the house is a 4 bed? It's quite blurry but I think that's right.
Basically, I would prioritise raising sociable children with good house and sharing skills, rather than making sure they have a bedroom each.

How close is the house to the barn? Can you actually connect them with a corridor? If not, then for me all my children stay under the same roof until they're 18, even if there's two to a room. Otherwise there are key living-together skills they'll miss out on learning. Sharing, compromise, tolerance.

Young teen? No way. We have plans to convert our stone sheds to a guest house and we know our oldest teen will want to live out there, but he’s almost 18 as it is and work hasn’t begun. I wouldn’t want him to have lived out there before now.

I wouldn’t give a teen their own house, no.

So- let’s get this straight.
You are considering buying a 4 bedroomed house which comes with a barn, which has planning permission for a separate 2 bedroomed house.

Some questions: Is either the existing house or barn subject to any planning restrictions- such as listed building permits, local residency, an agricultural tie?
How much land is there between the buildings- would you end up with an attached dwelling, would you be overlooked or overlook by the other house/ barn? Are you in danger of overdeveloping the site?
Do you have any experience of actual building work (I don’t mean just a bit of painting or changing the odd cupboard door)?

How much money do you have for the renovations and conversions? It is always more than you think!

Assuming the plot is good, and the area is popular, then buying a house with a building to convert or building plot canbe agood idea- if you know what you are doing.

Would I put a young person (17-18 ) in their own separate house? Not on your Nelly! Asking for trouble!
A 4 bedroom house should be big enough, kids share bedrooms all the time.
Treat the barn as a possible money maker for the future, but do you research first!

Can't you go live in the barn and leave the kids and husband in the main house? That's what I'd do 🧐🧐