Personality disorder and NHS therapy

[SnappyCyanShaker]

I'm doing some sort of therapy with the NHS for my issues. I've told them I most identify with avoidant personality and I hate myself and think no one likes me.

I've been matched with a therapist and she's not really helping. Apparently I'm at the highest level of therapy. What do I do?

You need to look into DBT; it is the most suitable therapy for ND women:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/talking-therapy-and-counselling/dialectical-behaviour-therapy-dbt/

Could you save up for some private counselling/ therapy?. I would be considered by the nhs to need PD therapy but actually have just really benefitted from seeing a counsellor privately. I feel like it's about finding ghe right counsellor/ therapist you you.

I agree with @ProfessorRizzyou would benefit from DBT. Worth asking your GP or point of contact if your area would do DBT on the NHS as it sometimes can be accessed with NHS. If not, private.

Your first port of call is to talk to your therapist. How long have you been seeing them and what type of therapy? You said you identify most with avoidant personality - what’s that based on? Self diagnosis can be a real hindrance to therapy, because we can’t really be objective about ourselves and online diagnostics aren’t holistic and are self selecting. Your therapist will want to make their own assessment based on their experience of you - what you feel about yourself matters but it’s part of a much wider picture.

Whats happening in session, and what do you think would be better? Have you had therapy before and was that helpful. Also be aware your feelings may be the avoidant part of you showing up - easier to say it’s not working than you find it difficult and don’t want to do it.

Do you have a mental health hub near you?

Have you got an official diagnosis?

You identify as avoidant and want to change therapist? Is this part of your presentation? What has and has not been helpful so far- I’d have a conversation with your therapist

Relational difficulties can take a long time to understand and improve in therapy.

No avoidant personality doesn't mean someone doesn't have a genuine need to Change therapists if they aren't being offered the correct therapy or they don't get on with the therapist

I've already self funded dbt

I'm not ND.

Based on what my issues are and what I've self funded with other therapists.

No avoidant personality isn't seen by wanting to change therapists.... That's such a bizarre comment when I've stated the therapist/therapy isn't helping.

Every week we go over the same stuff - it's basic like an I walking for exercise etc. it's not structured or providing any benefit

I've paid for lots myself. No money now

No the NHS wouldn't treat me for so long. I've had to pay

What does your therapist say when you tell her that you don’t think the sessions are helping? You say you’re “doing some sort of therapy for your issues” and say you “identify with” a particular personality type: what therapy do you understand yourself to be having, and do you have a formal diagnosis? Did you establish at the beginning of the course what you’re hoping to get out of your sessions and what you feel was useful and not so useful about the type/s of therapy you’ve already undergone? If the two of you really haven’t managed to build a therapeutic relationship then she should be working with you to identify why you feel that’s the case and and whether an alternative therapist is the best option: it sounds like your understanding of what the therapy is about and intended to achieve for you is quite vague, which an alternative therapist alone might not necessarily solve.

What is your diagnosis and what type of therapy is it?

Avoidance personality is partly about how you behave in relationships, including the therapeutic relationship. Have you told the therapist you’re not feeling the benefit of the sessions and that you’d like more structure? Or tried talking about what you feel you need? A good therapist will follow your lead.

I would love to do this but I don't think the therapy is right and Im not able to get any other therapy

I found the nhs therapy damaging for me . I only finished it simply so they can’t say I didn’t try .

I was referred to Cmht - who have been less than helpful …to put it mildly .

i am now paying for private therapy.. I do challenge what doesn’t make sense . I do think it has moved therapy forward .

Have you tried talking to the therapist .

how long have you been with this therapist

I was under cmht. I just seem to be getting pushed from place to place

If it is through the NHS (or private!) you can ask for a change of therapist.

Speak to your therapist and don’t give in to your avoidant aspect

What exactly are your being treated for if you don’t have a personality disorder diagnosis?