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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are full stops passive aggressive?

288 replies

Samas · 07/09/2025 22:16

Are full stops really passive-aggressive now? According to my colleague they are, especially in text messages. Apparently, ending a sentence correctly is no longer “neutral” but somehow comes across as cold or hostile.

yabu= full stops are indeed PA
yanbu= of course they’re not

OP posts:
HevenlyMeS · 07/09/2025 23:53

Yes😅I most surely did indeed, use way too much commas! Lol. And it's great that you expressed, "in your opinion".
Also, how refreshingly lovely, that you didn't put a fullstop! 😅

InterestedDad37 · 07/09/2025 23:55

SoloSofa24 · 07/09/2025 22:22

Apparently so, if you are under 30 and it's in a text/whatsapp/snapchat/whatever message.

I still use punctuation in most of my text messages, even to my 20-something DCs, but I am ancient.

👆👆👆
What SoloSofa24 said.
Yes, it's just a different kind of msg etiquette popular with the young'uns. I'm ancient, but I know these things 🙂

AstonUniversityPotholeDepartment · 07/09/2025 23:55

murasaki · 07/09/2025 23:39

Yes, of course. But the use of a full stop was not the indicator of annoyance, the content was.

Indeed, I'm sure it was! But think about how you usually feel when you're absolutely at the end of your tether and your rage has built and built as you type your reply. As you approach to the scorching conclusion of the message, don't you thump/press the full stop or question mark at the end of the final sentence with a bit of extra verve and vigour?

murasaki · 07/09/2025 23:55

Anxiety over a full stop. Truly it is the end of times.

murasaki · 07/09/2025 23:56

AstonUniversityPotholeDepartment · 07/09/2025 23:55

Indeed, I'm sure it was! But think about how you usually feel when you're absolutely at the end of your tether and your rage has built and built as you type your reply. As you approach to the scorching conclusion of the message, don't you thump/press the full stop or question mark at the end of the final sentence with a bit of extra verve and vigour?

No, my rage is cold. Sorry to disappoint.

HevenlyMeS · 07/09/2025 23:56

Lovely message 🤗

GleisZwei · 07/09/2025 23:57

Carrotsurprise · 07/09/2025 23:52

The only people I know who put full stops at the end of messages are boomers or a couple of my friends who are autistic. The most socially acceptable way of ending a short message is an x, at least among women.

Um, what now?
I absolutely cannot stand a 'x' from anyone other than very close family/friends!

whitewineandsun · 07/09/2025 23:58

GladioliGreen · 07/09/2025 22:26

According to my teenagers they are. They asked me not to put full stops in my texts to them because it makes it seem like I'm mad at them.

This is baffling. Do they explain why?

ErrolTheDinosaur · 07/09/2025 23:58

Carrotsurprise · 07/09/2025 23:52

The only people I know who put full stops at the end of messages are boomers or a couple of my friends who are autistic. The most socially acceptable way of ending a short message is an x, at least among women.

boomers? Hmm

murasaki · 07/09/2025 23:59

GleisZwei · 07/09/2025 23:57

Um, what now?
I absolutely cannot stand a 'x' from anyone other than very close family/friends!

Totally. I put up with it from my best friend, but at least she puts a full stop before it. 🤣

AstonUniversityPotholeDepartment · 08/09/2025 00:00

Carrotsurprise · 07/09/2025 23:52

The only people I know who put full stops at the end of messages are boomers or a couple of my friends who are autistic. The most socially acceptable way of ending a short message is an x, at least among women.

I'm refusing to give in to that one. I am not ending my Teams messages with an x, I'm just not.

I'd struggle to send some of my work colleagues kisses in a birthday card, so doing it in Teams is right out.

IchiNiSanShiGo · 08/09/2025 00:01

Your. Colleague. Is. Wrong.

cariadlet · 08/09/2025 00:02

I came across this idea on a podcast last year and rolled my eyes at it but it seems to be a generational divide. I'm middle aged, have always used correct punctuation and I'm not going to stop now.

I'm also a primary school teacher and it seems as though I spend my life reminding children to use capital letters and full stops. It so often feels like I'm banging my head against a brick wall.

I could weep with frustration at the thought that as soon as children are set loose on social media or messaging apps then they merrily jettison everything that teachers have spent years trying to drum into them.

ErrolTheDinosaur · 08/09/2025 00:02

I just looked back through our family WhatsApp’s - me , DH and under 30 dd. There’s really no pattern to when any of us use full stops and when we forget. Some of it is full sentences, some messages are brief and abbreviated.
I think this means we’re all adults who know how to communicate with each other.

wand3rer · 08/09/2025 00:03

In emails and on forums, I tend to use proper punctuation.

In chats, I use full stops between sentences but not at the very end of the message.

I’m over 30. I don’t find full stops aggressive. They just feel oddly formal in chat. As a result they make the message sound cold and distant. Not sure why! 😅

NotAhotWeatherPerson · 08/09/2025 00:05

Carrotsurprise · 07/09/2025 23:52

The only people I know who put full stops at the end of messages are boomers or a couple of my friends who are autistic. The most socially acceptable way of ending a short message is an x, at least among women.

None of my women friends do that, unless it's meant to be caring. Like if we're talking about a relative who died and they're feeling sad. Otherwise it would be weird to be sending random kisses to my friends.

whitewineandsun · 08/09/2025 00:05

GleisZwei · 07/09/2025 23:57

Um, what now?
I absolutely cannot stand a 'x' from anyone other than very close family/friends!

Absolutely agree. And even then I don't love it.

NImumconfused · 08/09/2025 00:06

Pepperypottery · 07/09/2025 23:26

It seems to me people are being purposefully obtuse on this thread.
It isn’t a problem with every full stop, it’s only full stops at the end of a message. If you bother to try and think about it, text conversations are continuous now due to unlimited data/wifi. Previously, text messages were limited in length as pp mentioned. Now, if you put a full stop at the end of a message, it indicates that the conversation is over, you are forcefully bringing the dialogue to a close, instead of allowing the rolling, text-based conversation to continue. For all the eye-rolling about the sensitivities of younger generations on this thread, there seems to be a sort of delight in the opportunity to be irritated by them.

I am impressed by how many people are conscientiously whacking full stops at the end of their posts though. I’m off to survey some other threads and see if others are so rigorous

I don't think they're necessarily being obtuse, I just think some of us (probably the older ones, to be fair) can't quite get our heads round the idea that normal punctuation is being interpreted like this. It would never have occurred to me not to put a full stop at the end of a sentence.

I'd actually never noticed that my teenagers don't put full stops on their WhatsApp messages, but I've just checked and they don't - wonder if they've been thinking I'm permanently cross with them for the last few years? 😂

AstonUniversityPotholeDepartment · 08/09/2025 00:06

murasaki · 07/09/2025 23:56

No, my rage is cold. Sorry to disappoint.

Maybe that explains the mutual incomprehension for each of us then. I've been savagely pressing the full stop at the end of messages since my first Nokia 3310.

Friend from school: cn i borrow a tenner?
Me, enraged that she can ask me this when she still owes me £10 from last month: No.

NotAhotWeatherPerson · 08/09/2025 00:07

OK, it's not just the under 30s. I'm firmly in the middle of Gen X. While I was on this thread I was getting messages from my 32 year old. No full stops at the end.

murasaki · 08/09/2025 00:07

AstonUniversityPotholeDepartment · 08/09/2025 00:06

Maybe that explains the mutual incomprehension for each of us then. I've been savagely pressing the full stop at the end of messages since my first Nokia 3310.

Friend from school: cn i borrow a tenner?
Me, enraged that she can ask me this when she still owes me £10 from last month: No.

Edited

Haha! Yes, clearly different types of rage!

murasaki · 08/09/2025 00:08

AstonUniversityPotholeDepartment · 08/09/2025 00:06

Maybe that explains the mutual incomprehension for each of us then. I've been savagely pressing the full stop at the end of messages since my first Nokia 3310.

Friend from school: cn i borrow a tenner?
Me, enraged that she can ask me this when she still owes me £10 from last month: No.

Edited

Totally reasonable rage from you there though, the cheeky mare.

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 08/09/2025 00:11

Apparently gen z see them as passive aggressive. I see them as helpful for clarity in writing. Don’t get me started on lack of punctuation these days!

Mustbethat · 08/09/2025 00:11

Apparently it is. Some younger work colleagues told me they were worried they’d upset me until they realised I’m old enough to remember punctuation.

my dc hate it as well, though now it’s a bit of a joke between their friends and friends mums that I am single handedly attempting to bring grammar back.

i don’t use “x” at the end either. That’s what full stops are for, it’s redundant to replace it with an x.

NotAhotWeatherPerson · 08/09/2025 00:12

If you're asking a question, are question marks okay, or passive aggressive?