I know this is probably silly but just a bit down and was looking for some advice (or alternatively a kick up the arse to stop being so silly)
I’m taking part in a sports competition soon. Not Olympic level obviously haha, but a decent level within the sport. I’ve been sporty most of my life and training at this sport for a long time.
I have heart issues and take a lot medication to keep things stable (sustained WCT so I take Flecainide and Sotalol). I’m cleared to exercise and am fine when medicated.
One of my friends made a joke the other day that I was cheating on a way, since my medication stops my heart beating too quickly and that will give me an advantage when exercising. I had never really thought about it like that, because I never had problems when exercising in the first place, my problems would happen randomly. And because I’ve always been active my resting heart rate is actually very low and doesn’t go up particularly high when I exercise anyway, even without medication.
I decided to try no medication while training for a few days and didn’t feel any different vs not taking it (other than anxious about my heart going into a dodgy rhythm which thankfully it didn't) so I don’t think the medication is actually giving me an advantage because it’s not lowering my heart rate anymore because it’s already low from sports, it just stops it slipping into dangerous rhythms.
Obviously I’m never going to go without my medication for training/competition because I need it, but it’s sort of in the back of my mind that I’m cheating in a way by taking it? Am I being completely ridiculous here? I feel slightly sad in some ways thinking that perhaps competitions I’ve won were somehow unfair or I had an advantage and it’s put a bit of a dampener on it all, especially as I was proud to have won despite having heart problems and being unwell