Conundrum. To buy or not to buy (from a racist!)?

[ratatouille99]

I'm due to pick up an item from Facebook marketplace tomorrow. Something hard to come by for a good price and that my son is very excited to collect. I made the mistake of clicking on the profile of the person in buying it from, and turns out they are really rather racist (joy). I'm nervous now to go. I am a black woman, and whilst I don't feel unsafe, I find it uncomfortable. My white friend has offered to come with me. Would you still buy the item? Or would you let your child down? (He is a 6 year old and has autism so the meltdown will be big...)

God, I’m so sorry this has happened to you and I completely get why you would be nervous to go and unwilling to give your money to someone like that. Agree with PPs, get the item as it is something your son desperately wants (and you know what, screw the sodding provenance - because you know what’s important in all this and it’s your son’s happiness).

But I would park round the corner and get your friend to pick it up too. Give the person as little headspace as they deserve and enjoy your son’s enjoyment of the thing.

Because of your son’s situation I agree that you should get the item but protect yourself from what at best would be an uncomfortable interaction and at worst could be outright dangerous. Don’t give your name or any identifying information either. If you have I would pull out of the interaction entirely

🚨🚩🚩and what if you buy the item and something goes wrong?... If someone is openly racist especially on social media, then their probably not going to treat you fairly, if there's someone wrong.
Can you say what it is you're buying? There's got ro be another way?

That is absolutely horrific 😱

Are the racist posts about your race? If so, I'd get someone else to collect if you think it might be dangerous.

However, being anti illegal immigrants doesn't make you racist.

I’d rather not buy it off them but if you really need it send your friend to the door and wait in the car, park a few houses down so they can’t see you. They probably wouldn’t say anything to you in person anyway but it’s not worth the risk.

Some of them are about my religion, and one makes a reference to Somalians. I think they're anti immigration and racist at the same time.

What does that matter!
Im Mixed Black and Asian and if I saw a racist post about Chinese people I’d still be extremely uncomfortable!
Also the types of post this person has been described to share are racist and Islamophobic - glorifying violence and hatred.

Sorry OP, I’d be finding ways NOT to give this person any custom or time despite the fall out. May be an unpopular opinion.

I would never do it.
Your child will cope.

There are some people who actually think that if someone just has a problem with Muslims and nobody else, then the other non-Muslim POC shouldnt bat an eyelid. But these same people shouting Stop The Boats now are the same idiots who had a problem with the BLM movement gaining traction a few years back, and they will have the same problem with any other non-white religion or culture once the media decide who to demonise next.

I feel scared for you just reading this. If you go through with it I do think taking your friend and you staying in the car is a good idea. But only if its going to be safe. And I'd block the seller afterwards

You think they aren’t ‘that’ racist cos they’d sell to her?

I wish we could enjoy that type of naivety. Historically racists have let black/brown people clean their houses/mind their children etc.

They’ll still take her money, don’t worry about that.

Totally agree with this. I have a friend who is lovely but in Covid times he got caught up in the most stupid conspiracies online and this has now merged into the immigration/george flag mentality. It's like he has slowly been groomed. But in reality he doesn't spout that shit and we are a mixed race family.

On a side note I came off Facebook a long time ago and the world is a calmer place for this anxious poc

Bloody hell...

Jesus. What is wrong with people? I am so sorry.

I’d leave it. WW here.

Jesus WEPT!! 🙄🙄🙄

I would be very cautious if he if on fb he will have seen your profile and you do not know what you are walking into with this low life for safety reasons I would not go or send friend and try and source this item else where

i this a joke it make you racist no matter how you dress it up my word

You drive, park, let him pick up item.

You don't speak for everyone. Even if what you say were true, civilisation is about using your educated rational brain to combat your reactionary lizard thoughts, not trying to reorganise society around them. You don't speak for me.

This poster is taking about not only a principle but a FEAR for her safety which is prompted by all the vile spew all that migrant/hotel/small boats shite is allowing.

OP I think you should do whatever makes your life easiest and least unpleasant and I'm sorry you have to think about this shit.

Generally, I wouldn't buy something if I knew they were a racist / a Reform supporter. But, your boy is expecting this now, so it's probably best to do the pick up. Just give it a good clean when you get it home!