To think this website thrives on shaming people?

[AmusedGreyWriter]

Without shaming, this site would wither and die. Mumsnet is full of posts judging other people’s life choices - parenting, relationships, finances, work, even what someone wears to the supermarket. Half the threads in AIBU are just a collective pile-on, with people ripping into whoever they think has messed up.

I get that people love to debate and sometimes the judgement is deserved but does anyone else think that without shaming, this site wouldn’t have the same energy? Or am I being unfair?

Yes but are you now shaming people for shaming people? Are you part of the problem?

In fact, have I just shamed you for shaming people for shaming people?

And yet people still post 🤷‍♀️

That's so meta.

I'm not sure words on a screen could ever shame me tbh. We are all just Internet strangers so if you're feeling shame based on something anonomous posted on a forum, you should probably step away from the Internet.

There is judgement, but that's what people post for, so others can judge their situation and advise accordingly.

I know there are ridiculous threads on MN.
But what shines out for me are the number of OPs who are in absolutely horrendous relationships and who put up with awful abuse and treatment because their self esteem has been so destroyed that they can no longer see the way they are being treated is abusive. In these cases I'm very very glad that posters steam in with judgement and abuse directed at the OP's partner or whoever is
diminishing them.
A bit of judgement directed in the right direction is a good thing.

Haha, touché. Maybe we’re all caught up in the loop together, shaming the shamers who shame the shamers

But I guess that’s kind of the point? It spirals because judgement is baked into how the platform runs.

Disagreement and alternative opinions do not automatically equate to 'shaming'.

The problem is that posters automatically post on AIBU, which is not a kind space, but if people are asking AIBU, posters are perfectly entitled to say they ABU.
If you post on the appropriate board, you can get support, but posters can't be bothered to do it.

It’s a very successful website so clearly we all love a bit of judging each other. No one is forced to be here after all and Mumsnet don’t choose what gets posted.

The whole point of AIBU is that people ask posters to judge them or their behaviour and choices.

OPs aren’t forced to do this - they do it willingly and are mostly glad to read the various opinions.

I find the shaming hard to read sometimes.
OP posts something minor they did wrong - should I have moved my toddler out of the way of jogger? - and everyone piles on saying she is the reason why prisons are full and drugs are rife.
Maybe a warning before you are allowed to post in AIBU "did you mean to start a thread here?" and then all bets are off.