To let DS12 jump in and swim in the river

[Pleasedontputthatthere]

I have a 12 y/o son, he is a good swimmer, he is heavily into kayaking so knows some techniques from there etc. We live near a canal/river where kids jump in and there has unfortunately been tragedies from cold water shock.

DS asked if he wore his wetsuit and flotation device (life jacket) would I take him to where the river meets the canal to let him jump in. There is no current here as the ricer splits off to meet the canal and I am there with a line set-up should anything happen. He jump from a flat surface into water which he has already swum in, to prevent the risk of cold water shock.

I think that's all the info you need, trying not to drip feed.

Would you let your child do this with you sitting there the whole time?

Do you live some where nice or something because our rivers are full of shopping trollys and sewage and incredibly dangerous to go in

@Saz12 - he's 12 not 14.

I’d find and send him on an outdoor swimming course and he can learn to be safe. ALL the guidance says do not jump in near or from locks due to potential currents which could pull you under. You’d have little chance of saving him from the side if that happened. If he wants to jump in, then find somewhere else and not near any locks, weirs and water where you can’t tell where there is hidden debris or depth or even better book him on one of those courses, where they climb waterfalls and jump off cliffs with a guide to get his fix.

what you said was that your son would not choose to go into a weir.

What you are proposing is completely irresponsible . you can’t teach your child to balance risks when you don’t understand them yourself.

My 9 year old jumps off boulders into our waterfall/ river. He also slides down rocks into the waterfall below. Most mumsnetters would think I'm horribly neglectful but I'm not and he's learning to take risks safely. I think he's more at risk on his tablet personally, and I also like swimming in rivers and waterfalls.

However, even I would draw the line at canals. That seems really dodgy to me for all of the reasons already mentioned. Why can't he jump into another body of water, why this one?

I often go walking along the canal, lovely and scenic but I'd never put a toe in the water, it's absolutely disgusting, full of diseases, algae and all sorts that people throw in, animal urine and faeces. 🤮

Waterfalls are lethal. I watched someone drown in a small waterfall, no more than a foot high. It pulls you under and you can’t get out of the cycle.

this woman didn’t die, but it was very close. Apparently it’s a “safe” spot and she’s a regular open water swimmer. I can’t find her account where I originally saw it…

www.reddit.com/r/watchpeoplesurvive/comments/1lc3hju/woman_nearly_drowns_in_seemingly_tranquil_wild/

I honestly can't understand why you would let your ds take the risk.

There is a big difference between giving your child the tools to be able to take risks and enabling stupid ideas. Jumping in near a lock is a stupid idea and you would be better off teaching him when and where it is safe to swim.

Sounds fine to me if he has a life vest.

Some waterfalls can be lethal. Not all waterfalls are lethal all of the time.

You need to be able to understand the risks. 'my' waterfall is a 2 minute walk from my door. I've been swimming in it for 20 years, year round. I understand it and my son has been swimming in it his whole life, as had his big brother.

Sympathies to you though, you witnessed something very traumatic.

Reminds me of this from the 70s-"The show offs and the fools are easy"

I was at the marine pool in Clevedon a few months ago and watched a man in his early 40s being given chest compressions at the side after he jumped in for his regular morning swim. He died at the scene. Locals who were milling about said he went every morning and that it seemed as if he’d jumped in and had a massive heart attack. Absolutely tragic. So even if you’re experienced, swimming in open water can be a massive risk. I wouldn’t let my kids.

It sounds like you’ve taken
sensible steps right up to the point where you’re doing it near a lock gate. That can be insanely dangerous.

I do let dc jump into the local loch. You can pretty much walk/ swim to an island and then there’s a good jumping off set of rocks. I supervise from a paddle board. Also there’s a river that crosses the drive it’s pretty shallow generally but there’s a pinch point under the bridge so they swim there. I think I’ve got a pretty gung honatyitude tto wild swimming but I have to admit I wouldn’t do this op as canals always struck me as quite dangerous tbh

Alone? No way. And for all the other reasons.

Alone? No way. And for all the other reasons.

Try and find a public swimming pool with a diving pit and boards. There are not so many around these days though. He can jump off the boards to his heart's content.

Is there a swimming lake you could take him to instead of a canal? Open water swimming is great but I wouldn't do it unless in a designated place with other people. Perhaps there is a club nearby you could find.

I do a fair bit of open water swimming. Canals are an absolute no go. Currents aside, there's often lots of debris in the water, the depth can be unpredictable and they're really dirty. I would also avoid rivers at the moment because there's been so much rain after a long dry spell.

I would join your local/regional bluetits group on Facebook. They're an open water swimming organisation, they do a lot of meet ups, and they're very knowledgeable about where to swim.

Personally, for me - I like wild-swimming, and I will take my son swimming with me in the sea, in rivers + lakes etc.

In fact, we had a great time this summer at a wild-swimming spot in dartmoor. He has been in the sea a lot, but this was his first time in a river. It was great fun.

The other posters are right though, it has risks attached.. but that is the same as a lot of sports and more wild activities. Skiing, Snowboarding, Surfing, etc.

The key for me is are you competent enough to manage the situation until he is able to do so?

Most accidents in the water involve groups of young lads with no supervision who have no idea what they are doing, and have no support/emergency plans in place. Or in the sea, they involve irresponsible activities of - mostly older, occasionally drunk men, who think they know best, even if they have never been to that spot before.

In your situation, at 12 years old, it would be a 100% no, without supervision. With me there, it would be a yes - as long as he is a very competent swimmer, and goes swimming first, before jumping in (always essential...), and that I've tested depths etc. He would have to have me there swimming with him, not just watching in clothes, so that if anything did happen I was on hand to help, and that I've checked the pollution reports/rating for that water.

Not sure about river/canal swimming, more danger and apparently filthy. Why not jump into a lake instead? I swim in lakes, love jumping in and teach my children to do the same. Its bloody lovely and a lot safer.

Grab the life ring from the side and jump in, we have discussed this, DS and I.

What's going to make you immune from being shocked by the cold water?

My kids do play in the river here - all the kids do - but only when there is an adult or two also in the water, so they're used to the temp, in case they need help. No jumping though as it's not deep enough imo.

The "no" answers being given are surprisingly sensible for AIBU and you've got responses from a good number of cold/open water swimmers.

I go open water swimming, and I would not go near a canal or jumping into unclear waters.
I would also be concerned about encouraging a culture of jumping in with complacency creeping in involving fewer checks, dodgy locations and less experienced people. Particularly as he hasn't reached the daftest of the teenage years yet.

I would join your local/regional bluetits group on Facebook. They're an open water swimming organisation, they do a lot of meet ups, and they're very knowledgeable about where to swim.

I'd be looking at something like this if he's really keen and your worried he'll do it without you - you need local knowledge and people round who know what to do if things do go wrong.