To ask opinions on alcohol fuelled behaviour?

[Tranky]

Just read a thread on alcohol fuelled behaviour and it’s what prompted me to post

Cut a long story short:

Male 51, married to female, 57.

They have a 16 year old in GCSE year.

Female drinks one afternoon to the point of being noticeably drunk and falls all the way down the stairs - this isn’t a ‘celebration’ day of any kind - it’s a normal weekend afternoon.

Her husband is in the living room watching TV. As soon as she’s fallen the drunk wife gets up and confronts her hubby angrily and screeches at him for not coming to her aid quick enough when she’d fallen down the stairs. He might have heard the series of thuds but wouldn’t have seen her fall as you can’t see the stairs from his sitting position in the living room. The wife SCREECHES drunkenly at him.

AIBU to ask if you were the hubby in this situation- would you raise the bar and end the marriage ?

Hubby can leave for whatever reason he likes, but I think they should try and work it out first if it’s otheriwisw a happy marriage if she admits that kind of drinking is an issue and agrees to stop

Thank you ❤️

Has he encouraged her to get help for her alcohol problem yet? Does he drink?

Which are you?

Theres a whole history to this and a helluva lot missing background info...

Why is the wife steaming drunk on a normal weekend?
Is this a normal occurrence?
Is she always nasty and aggressive?

It's not a nice way to live, in a house with an aggressive drunk, husband can leave for any reason but advising someone to leave for one event isnt really the best advice, but if its a recurring abusive type situation then yeah its a different story

Feels female coded, is this a reverse? Or written by the hubby's affair partner?

Regardless, this feels like a snapshot and more context of the relationship is needed.

If this is typical behaviour then regardless of being male or female, a person shouldn't have to put up with being screeched at.

He only drinks in moderation and no he hasn’t encouraged her to get help

he certainly doesn’t have problematic drinking

none

How long has this been going on for? Does she admit she has a problem with alcohol?
I think if you were a woman talking about her husband the response would be different, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to not want your child who should be revising for her exams around this crap, could she go and stay somewhere else until she fixes her drink problem?

I don’t honestly know why she’s like this on a normal weekend

yes it’s happened before and she’s been nasty and aggressive before

Did she just get silly and have a couple more glasses unexpectedly or is this a pattern of getting hammered? When she sobered up did she apologise? Why didn’t the man get up / ask if she was ok upon hearing the thuds?
Where was the 16yo when this happened?

You shagging him, OP?

It’s gone on for at least 6 years

she doesn’t admit a problem

daughter doesn’t have all that many options but j agree staying elsewhere is a good idea

No

No she didn’t apologise after

yes it’s a pattern not a one off

there is a possible hubby didn’t hear the thuds due to TV but otherwise I don’t know

16 year old in bedroom while this took place but clearly knew what was going on

I think a little more context is needed then. Yes the drinking and screeching is not ok. But also if I heard thuds on my stairs I would run out to make sure no one was hurt. If you are the daughter in this situation I really feel for you. I'm sorry I asked if you were shagging him, it just seemed really one sided with limited information

A large percentage of female alcoholics have ACE so there’s two things to consider. Will she be receptive to therapy to address her alcohol misuse disorder? Will her husband and daughter support her while she seeks help?

Nasty and aggressive on the regular, I'd be encouraging the husband that this is unacceptable behaviour that he doesn't have to put up with.

That’s ok - you’re not unreasonable ti ask a question - I wasn’t offended !

Hmm I doubt whether she’d be receptive ti therapy tbh

but I’m sure husband and daughter would support her

The only person who can change this is the drinker. Sounds like they don’t want to. Al anon for the family and divorce may be the only answer.