New partner uses viagra - not sure how I should feel

[Rosiejk]

As above really - he has had issues in that area (finishing quickly) in the past (and some nasty comments from an ex). He didn’t take it for the first few times we were intimate and finished quickly. He then opened up to me about it and asked if I’d be okay with him taking it, it’s to last longer not to ‘sustain’ if that makes sense. He assured me he’s attractive to me which I don’t doubt, but just feel a bit odd about it? Anyone else had a similar situation?

Enjoy!

How old is he?

34

He has a medical need....

WTAF
why would you think negatively about him or about it. He has a need. He has been open about it and asked. He is doing it to help your sex life. It’s not all about you!

Is the sex better when he takes it?

He didn’t have to tell you. He could have just taken the tablet. He’s trusted you and chosen to tell you.

Sounds like he has a medical need for it and took proactive steps to improve things. That’s a good thing.

Enjoy the sex.

I’m not - I guess I’ve always associated that topic with someone needing it to feel attracted to someone. So I just need to re-frame my thinking.

I guess there’s also an element of me thinking isn’t he too young to be taking it?

He's young to be having medical issues in this area. Has he seen a Dr about it or is he just buying over the counter? I think I'd be concerned in honesty.

Viagra isn’t to feel attracted to someone, or to get a non-genuine erection. It’s medication to help with a man’s sexual function.

You’d better not use lube or use hormonal contraception or plan to take HRT. You might be faking your attraction to someone.

He’s not too young. He’s taken steps to have a more satisfying sex life for himself and his sexual partner.

You are completely mistaken about this. Men take Viagra to improve their sexual function so that they can have the good sex they want with the woman (or man) for whom they have the hots. It’s simply about mechanics, not desire.

As a pp said, enjoy!

Not about your attractiveness at all. He just can’t get it up.
DH uses it, his willy won’t work by itself. He lasts a bit longer.
Not much though. The sex has never been great, TBH…

If you suffered with vaginal dryness, would you stop using medication for it because he felt odd about it?

You should feel pleased that he wants a great sex life with you.

As things develop, suggest he gets a check up at his GP, as he should be able to sustain without meds at his age.

I’d be a bit perplexed by this as well. If he’s able to sustain an erection but finishes quickly, I’d be inclined to say let’s focus on having more non penetrative sex to build up the mood, and just enjoy however long he lasts.

Lots of men lose erections when they feel under pressure, so I’d be more interested in trying to take the pressure off and make the whole experience more relaxed and stress free, and see whether things improve from there. If his ex has made him feel inferior about his prowess then my first suspicion would be that this is about him feeling insecure and not to do with actually needing it. Besides, quick sex doesn’t always mean unsatisfying - you can always go again! 😉

It sounds as though he can get an erection from what you say, he just doesn't last long during the deed. Has he seen his GP to rule out issues with his prostate and thyroid? Does he take recreational drugs? Is he stressed or depressed? All of these can contribute to premature ejaculation. At 34 I'd want to know if he's tried other techniques to improve his performance before resorting to viagra.

He hasn’t tried anything else to my knowledge, i
imagine for a man it’s a difficult thing to open up to a doctor about.