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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to find house hunting a miserable experience?

9 replies

auguries · 06/09/2025 18:02

Just had a telling off from my husband and my mother because I was complaining about how awful I find house hunting.

We’re in the early stages of trying to find a new house and sell our own. Lucky enough that we don’t have money worries and we’re being gifted a chunk of money from a trust so we have a good budget for what we want, and our house is likely to sell quickly due to area. We also don’t have any time pressures on moving like a new job or pregnancy. On paper I understand we’re in a very fortunate position and I feel extremely lucky.

BUT that doesn’t change the fact I HATE house hunting. I hate scouring Rightmove, I hate that every night after work this week my husband has sat down and wanted to look at about 20 shit house listings for houses I would not want to buy and I think it’s a waste of time even considering. I hate wasting a Saturday traipsing round someone else’s home imaging what my stuff would look like in there. I hate waking up to my mum sending me links to properties I’ve already seen or that you wouldn’t catch me dead in. The whole thing is such a massive ordeal to me and not a tiny bit exciting, but according to DH and now my DM I’m the only person in the world who feels like this and everyone else loves house hunting and Rightmove hunting. I honestly cannot believe this is true. So - tell me, am I unreasonable for finding this as fun as pulling teeth?

OP posts:
Goodadvice1980 · 06/09/2025 18:05

YANBU OP, it can be soul destroying if you’re in a chain with flaky people!

Meadowfinch · 06/09/2025 18:20

I don't hate house hunting. I like looking for the potential in houses, but I tend to buy doer-uppers. I look at all the appalling things people do to basically lovely houses, and imagine ripping out the mess and putting things right.

It can be frustrating when nothing appropriate comes on the market. And once I've had an offer accepted, it drives me mad when people dither over exchanging and completing.

Most people struggle with some part of it, I think.

Ilovepastafortea · 06/09/2025 18:21

auguries · 06/09/2025 18:02

Just had a telling off from my husband and my mother because I was complaining about how awful I find house hunting.

We’re in the early stages of trying to find a new house and sell our own. Lucky enough that we don’t have money worries and we’re being gifted a chunk of money from a trust so we have a good budget for what we want, and our house is likely to sell quickly due to area. We also don’t have any time pressures on moving like a new job or pregnancy. On paper I understand we’re in a very fortunate position and I feel extremely lucky.

BUT that doesn’t change the fact I HATE house hunting. I hate scouring Rightmove, I hate that every night after work this week my husband has sat down and wanted to look at about 20 shit house listings for houses I would not want to buy and I think it’s a waste of time even considering. I hate wasting a Saturday traipsing round someone else’s home imaging what my stuff would look like in there. I hate waking up to my mum sending me links to properties I’ve already seen or that you wouldn’t catch me dead in. The whole thing is such a massive ordeal to me and not a tiny bit exciting, but according to DH and now my DM I’m the only person in the world who feels like this and everyone else loves house hunting and Rightmove hunting. I honestly cannot believe this is true. So - tell me, am I unreasonable for finding this as fun as pulling teeth?

I totally feel your pain.

I don't even count the number of times that we've moved in 40-odd years of marriage. I hate it. But, it seems as soon as we've got a house the way we want it, DH decides that we 'need' somewhere different - bigger garden, better area, more space etc. We've bought doer-uppers & new builds. The same story each time.

We've been in our current bungalow for nearly 5 years, just finished the kitchen which was the last thing on the list & now DH is getting itchy feet again. He thinks that we need a garden with more space in the sun as current one most of the garden faces West & no sun until the afternoon - but the other side with a nice patio gets the morning sun, the small area of garden in the back faces North which he hates as no sun in the back of the house - but I feel that's good as our bedroom is in the back so nice & cool in the summer. I hate the idea of moving again, I'm 63 & thought this was our 'forever' house.

Like you I find trailing around other people's houses boring & rather depressing, the trawling through Rightmove of no interest whatsoever.

Then there's the thought of packing up, moving & unpacking. The thought of yet another house where he wants to change this & that, put in fitted wardrobes, get a new kitchen, new bathroom etc etc whatever, No, No, No!

I don't know why you're moving, but I've dug my feet in & refuse to have any truck with it. I've said to DH you move if you want to, I'm staying put & we can live in separate houses.

IfThenElse · 06/09/2025 18:24

OP, I’m the same, and have a DH who LOVES house hunting! I just cannot be bothered with it. I can tolerate going to see a house that we might realistically buy, but I hate being spammed with links by DH, going to see houses that are out of our budget, looking at them online, all of it!

CheltenhamLady · 06/09/2025 18:28

I absolutely love it. I can spend all day on rightmove!!

RigbyRight · 06/09/2025 18:32

I love looking on rightmove and imagining myself in different houses. I have lived in my house for 20 years but still do this regularly.
I think the problem here is you “wouldn’t be seen dead” in houses people close to you think are suitable. What is the reason for moving, looking for something bigger/nicer?

WallaceinAnderland · 06/09/2025 18:34

I love house hunting. Hate selling though, so many time wasters.

Littletreefrog · 06/09/2025 18:36

Does DH enjoy it? If so I would give him your wish list and let him do the right move trawling and he can present you with the potentials for you to short list into those you go and view. Personally I think house hunting in your financial situation would be quite fun but if it isn't for you don't inflict in on yourself.

mnahmnah · 06/09/2025 18:44

I understand your frustration with the whole process of trying to find somewhere. BUT, I think your DH is right to consider looking at houses that you dismiss based on the Rightmove listing. Houses are often so different in the flesh, so it’s a good idea to look at a good variety

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