Police have been

[Blodyneighbour]

My thread was hidden.
Thabkyou all for your replies.
Police have been.
Lovely lady Police office just left and DP in custody.
They ate coming tomorrow to interview me about past abuse.
I thought I was gonna die tonight.
Thanks everyone.

He’s pleading not guilty to scare you into thinking he can get away with his violent assault. Stay strong OP. Don’t be intimidated. You have strength and we are all behind you. Keep posting

memory gaps are so common in cases of abuse and trauma/ptsd. The fact you have memory gaps doesn’t mean they’ll doubt you. Thinking of you OP.

We're all here to support you through this @Blodyneighbour

So many of us have been through this ourselves.

The police officer or officers who will interview you for your statement are experts. They are there to help. It will be difficult to go over these things again, but worth it in the end. Sending you strength and good wishes.

Please make sure plans are made for no contact or non molestation order and an exclusion zone if possible. Unfortunately DV is not taken as seriously as it should be and currently many are not even been jailed, but given community orders or suspended sentences and released. Just try and cover all bases, cross the t's and dot the i's and make sure the police are aware of your fears. THere are definitely things they can do. You need all locks changing and security cameras as well - they can help with that. Get them to check for trackers on vehicles and phones as well

The fact he was remanded is significant and shows there's huge evidence against him that made him too risky to be released on bail. Feel positive about that

Thank you all so much for your support.

Before I gave my statement I was so nervous. The two young women were absolutely amazing. They think the evidence gathered so far is good. Without going in to too much detail, I told my story going back 6yrs and thought it was over, but then of course they have to go back over it all with you bit by bit. I feel I did really well as the truth is always remembered although when i had trouble with recollection with some parts, I felt a really intense feeling , like the walls were caving in on me and I felt like I was in a box. It was so strange!!
I only had to stop once about an incident with flash backs. I got really emotional. I was a bit gutted as i wanted to not cry today!!

Im feeling positive though. I'm now starting to think , if this happened to female relatives in his family he would go absolutely mad. And the man who told me he would always protect me was the man who beat me.

I will keep updated n here as it helps me stay strong.
Thanks again

Good luck with everything OP. You deserve a happy life free from abuse.

I was in bits yesterday as I had to go to the DWP to change our joint universal credit claim to a single one.
I'm gonna be losing over a grand a month!! He stopped working at xmas last year and I have been caring for him making sure he takes medicine etc, It was awful getting UC as he was earning good money when he worked. He then became sick and I was his main carer.
I went to see someone to help me fill out forms etc and the person said I should do a PIP claim as my mental health isn't good. But it takes so long and i'm not even sure if they give PIP to victims of DV?
And there is no way I can work right now with everything that's going on. I know I need to get a job, but there's nothing out there at the moment.
He didn't want me working while we were together as he wanted 'to look after me' Anyone reading this, do not let a man 'look after you' as you will be fucked when it ends. I quit 2 jobs at the beginning of our relationship. BIGGEST mistake I have ever made!
Thanks for taking the time to read, and I would welcome any advice right now.

Do you need a restraining order in place?

Yes they are sorting that out incase he is bailed. Plus a non molestation order. I will be so scared if he is bailed as he doesn't really care to much about his own life, so wouldn't care about mine, as he has demonstrated. I picked up a door bar yesterday and a blink doorbell. Just waiting for my son to fit it all.

Also my case is going to Marac for the third time. Hopefully this will help with the decision of bail. He's skipped bail before in his past.

If you're not well enough to work, OP, answer "yes" to the question about health condition/disability when you do your UC application, and get a FIT note from your GP and upload it to your UC account.

After a while, you'll get a medical questionnaire to complete. Try and get help from CAB or similar to help with it. (Or pm me!)

Then you'll get a "capability for work assessment". If they find you are not well enough to work, your UC will go up by £400+ a month and they won't hassle you to look for work.

Ime you can ask your GP to help with the PIP forms.

Your mh is an valid as a physical disability op.. Claim the help you are entitled to..

Apply for a non molestation order too xx

Thank you I may PM you in the next few days. I have requested a sick not from GP who are talking to me by phone Tuesday.

For anyone still reading this . My court case was adjourned until may. Was supposed to be in March.
They kept him in custody though and I am finally over the trama bond.

It definitely helped me not having contact for months. I was suicidal last year and rushed to hospital.

I am now much stronger but having mental health issues which I have councilling for.

I have also met a lovely person. He doesnt know alot he just knows I have a trial coming up. Ive stopped family and friends from being in the public gallery for privacy reasons.

He was in the local press so I know they could be there.

I am so nervous about being cross examined. I also did the arise program with solace which helped a lot.
Thank you for your ki d messages in the past. I am finally feeling much more positive.

I did that and am now financially better off for the time being , also get pip too.
Thats really helped me while im going through this. I REALLY want to work again when I am better and stronger after the trial.
Though doctors put me on antidepressants which dont help me. Make me worse.
But the financial burden has lifted for now. I want to help others who have been through this.

I've not read your previous thread and only your posts on here, but sending solidarity and thoughts to you.
You sound to be reclaiming your roar one step at a time, and you are one strong, brave, cookie. Kudos to you, keep swimming, and surround yourself with positivity from folks who have your back - here and in person.

What court is it going to? Ie crown/magistrates/other
Have you had support from victim support and/or an idva? They should be able to explain the Court process better. Tbh id be surprised if you were cross examined.

Just popping on to say thanks for the update, life will go on and it will get better.

Crown court. Its very serious which is why they kept him over the maximum remand time. Drowning, strangulation and 2 hospital stays.
Witnesses support hasnt been great tbh

You have support here if you need it. Some times anonymous strangers are easier to talk to than people you know.

Could Women's Aid or the court advocacy service help to support you? The prosecution should be looking to protect you e.g. if you have to give evidence, can it be behind a screen so you don't have to actually see the perpetrator?
Holding you in my thoughts - when you're in the court, imagine all of us standing behind you cheering you on and being there for you.