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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want a bit more money...

3 replies

Bananasandgrapes · 05/09/2025 19:32

How do you manage money in a relationship when one works and one doesn't?

My partner worked for 8 years whilst I was a SAHM due to our children having medical conditions. I kept the benefits and he sent £150 a week towards rent and council tax and kept the rest - I paid all the bills.

He was made redundant and I went back to work. We now put all the benefits and my wages in to one account. All the bills come out from that and we both get an allowance every week of £200. He paid off his car in full from his redundancy pay and my car finance comes out of my allowance. I admit, I spend more than he does but I can save when I want to. He does the school run, i cook every day and share the housework.

I get scrutinised for buying out of the joint account so use my money but this month I've got my insurance, tax, M.O.T and other things due and it's a bit of a struggle and I feel frustrated that I work so hard and have to juggle.

I probably should have budgeted better but since losing someone really close I've adopted a 'you only live once' attitude.

I'm probably being selfish and he stays at home so I can work but he has the luxury of going to the gym every day, doing whatever he likes (I miss it a little, plus always had a child at home). Some times I feel I should have a bit extra money for going to work but I also understand we're a team.

I'm curious to how it works for other couples

OP posts:
Strzyga · 05/09/2025 19:34

You have 200 a week, is this after bills?

MidnightPatrol · 05/09/2025 19:46

Why hasn’t he got another job, having been made redundant from the previous one?

Agree that £200pp a week after all bills have been paid sounds… like a lot for discretionary spending?

Why is your car a personal outgoing vs a family one?

Katflapkit · 05/09/2025 19:51

You are working full time, cooking when you come home yet your are being scrutinised over every penny, so he do the school can go to the gym.

Surely your car and costs around it are a household expense?

Swerve some your pay before it goes into the joint account if you need more. Remind him of your previous agreement when you were at home. If he complains, tell him that his meticulous finance skills could earn him a few quid a book keeper

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