To think she didn’t actually want me to go?

[Bingooooo]

I was invited to a colleagues leaving drinks. I recently left the job myself too and she is now leaving a month or so later. She messaged me on Facebook and asked if I wanted to come. I replied back that I couldn’t make it due to childcare but good luck with the new job. She never read the message at all. Aibu to think she didn’t actually want to invite me? I feel quite isolated and lonely as a single parent, and I would have gone if I could but I just feel like nobody bothers about me.

I think you’re overthinking it. If a message popped up on my phone saying “sorry I can’t make it” in similar circumstances I may not immediately open it either.

No of course not. She wouldn't have invited you if she didn't want you to come

Well I don’t think she’ll have seen that bit as I was replying to another part of the message so that wouldn’t have been the first bit that you can see. So unless opened I’m not sure she’ll have seen the rest of the message to say I couldn’t come

She specifically contacted you even though you don’t work there any more, but you’ve convinced yourself “nobody bothers about me”… ?

Of course she wanted you there, she invited you. Gently, I think you’re projecting low self esteem onto a perfectly normal invitation and interaction.

Maybe she's thinking the same about you? I think your emotions are colouring this whole exchange and it's more about you feeling isolated and alone than this situation. Think about how you can resolve that rather than focussing on this as the solution isn't being upset when people invite you out. She could probably see you'd declined without opening your message. I do the same sometimes. It's nothing to do with how I feel about the person.

If someone WhatsApps me and I read it on my watch it doesn't show as read on their WhatsApp (I just tested this with my partner). Also when it comes up on my phone screen I can read the whole message and it isn't shown as read. It only shows as read when I go into WhatsApp itself.

Exactly. I sometimes deliberately read messages unread to remind me to reply to them later!