8 year old mean girl - how to break free

[CowprintBoots]

DD 8 years old has, since reception, had a friend who isn’t very nice to her. Constantly put downs, desperate need to one-up her in any situation, lots of pointing and whispering and trying to embarrass DD, I could go on and on. DD for the record can’t stand her and they haven’t had any play dates together for at least 2 years. Although I’m aware this is DD’s perception, in school this girl seems to wield a certain amount of power over other kids - everyone is scared of upsetting her because they know she will burst into tears at the drop of a hat, cue a big fuss from teachers and any kids who feel like getting involved in some made up drama, nobody is allowed to say no to her or have their own ideas, if DD plays with anyone else she complains she’s being left out and she will spend lunchtime either scowling while pointing and whispering at DD and whoever she’s playing with, or practicing her well rehearsed sad face and telling people how sad she is DD is playing with someone else.
DD isn’t the only girl who has had these issues with this kid, I know at one point the teachers were involved in some drama between her and another girl, but she continues to behave the same way and DD and other girls are told off if they try to avoid playing with her.
Im beyond frustrated with how often I hear this girls name and the horrible things she says to DD/the very transparent manipulation tactics.
I keep telling DD she can play with whoever she wants, she absolutely doesn’t need to go along with what this little madam wants every time she stamps her feet, and although DD as mentioned can’t stand her, she doesn’t feel strong enough to shake her off.
Any mums with daughters in similar situations have any words of wisdom?! Thanks!

Have you spoken to the teacher? I think I'd be spelling it all out for them and telling them that my DD didn't have to play with anyone she didn't want to.

I did quite some time ago, and got a very wishy washy response. They seemed to know what I was talking about but have done nothing.
I tell DD daily how she has every right to say no to anything she doesn’t want to, she can play with who she wants, etc etc etc, and DD agrees and will speak about how outrageous this girl is, but she remains scared of how she feels this girl will react and how she will “tell on her” and turn others against her if she displeases her.

Id have a conversation with the teacher. Sounds dreadful. What is she like at birthday parties, what are her parents like?

Her parents are…….its very easy to see where she gets her sense of entitlement from.
She is very much the innocent party who can do no wrong and it’s always someone else’s fault. Her mum actually has form for apprehending other parents to complain their children dared to play with someone else and how much it upset her little darling. She has also grabbed me before to ask if it was true my DD had been on an outing with another child and that her daughter had felt left out.
I don’t think talking to her mum would help 😂

You daughter just has to get a don't care attitude in a good, sensible way.

But it's so hard considering how young she is.

When the child tells her, i'm going to tell on, you, say, go on, tell on me, I know the truth, you're a liar. Tell your daughter to call her a bully in front of other children. Tell her to her face that all she does is make up stories and go crying to the teacher with her lies.

She says things like that to her. Just tell your dd to say, I don't care.Go and do it, no one cares. Then ignore ignore ignore.

The reason this child does it is to get a rise out of people.She knows it works. The only way to break the habit is just not to give her the power, but it's so hard for such a young child

I really don't envy you this.It's such a horrible thing for such a young girl to have to go through

But literally, every time she does, this say to her, I don't care, go and tell then...
Still not playing with you.

Go as far as saying to this child.I don't have to bully people to be my friends.

Just read your update about her parents.My god they re awful. I hope you're doing the same with her parents. Yes, my daughter did go out with another child.She is allowed to have other friends.

Very tough because personality rules at that age.

I'd like to tell her to play her at her own game, but your dd is too young for that.

Best advice is to simply steer clear.

what to do if the teachers aren’t interested and this girl won’t just piss off, she won’t just play with other people. She will literally follow DD and harass her.