To not be able to afford a holiday

[JudesBiggestFan]

For the first time since I’ve had kids, I really feel that I can’t afford a decent holiday. We didn’t go away in the summer with a view to going in October but the price for us to go abroad is just too prohibitive. First world problem I know, but I’ve earned way less in the past being part time but I genuinely feel the poorest I’ve ever been. Just getting all the bills paid and to the end of the month feels hard enough. Yes I could do camping but I have two moody teens and an eight year old and that would just not be a holiday. Not really a moan, just more of a realisation of just how high the cost of living now is compared to previously.

YABU for making a thread saying you can't afford a holiday, but go on to say a decent one, so for that alone YABU. Holidays have gone up in price since the pandemic, but despite being low income we still go away once a year. It's quite likely you wouldn't consider them decent, but we've really enjoyed them.

What's your budget? I'm looking for October half term, to fly on the Thurs evening as mine have a teacher day on the Friday, lots of AIs coming up for £6-700pp, 4 & 5*...unless that's not decent? Where would you usually go?

I mean, everyone’s definition of decent will be different. What I mean is that I have a really small amount of room in my budget to save for holidays. Whereas I’ve always been able to afford holidays without too much thought. And I’m not anymore. It was just to ask as a general principle, if people with kids are also finding it tougher than it used to be to find money for luxuries like holidays.

unpopular opinion but I would go in term time - family time is important

Agree with pp to go during term time and pick a last minute deal. Jet2 have some great ones with free child places.

Everything is so expensive now.

We've done other stuff instead. Stayed a couple of nights at a theme park. Bought theme park passes and spent a year having regular days out there (quite a good way to get younger teens to spend time with you). Staycation in the original sense of staying in your house but eating out more and doing day trips (indoor skydiving, hiring river boats - £££ but still cheaper than a fairly basic cottage in Cornwall.)

Hopefully nearer the time there will be some last minute deals which are more along the lines of what you want.

Go a couple of days before term ends and come back before others to keep it cheaper. Find a reasonably priced airbnb with a kitchen and make some of your own food. Get around by public transport.
I haven't found holidays more expensive but this is how we always travel, also book as far in advance as you can for cheaper flights.

According to radio 4 only half the UK goes on foreign holidays.

I don't go away either as refuse to work more hours than I do (part time). I get my quality of life that way.

I was looking at October half term too but it is very pricey, so will camp in Cornwall this summer instead. Ask the teens what they would prefer. My DS is more than happy in the sea all day with a surfboard and in charge of the bbq and fire in the evening.

I’ve not been on a “decent holiday” for ten years now, (not all finance based, DH has health problems) it’s so frustrating. You say you not work part time though, could you do more hours or get a second small job?

Frankly, it was always tough for some people with children. We only ever took ours to self catering holidays in this country. The only time we took them abroad we rented a gite. There were years when we didn’t have holidays but had days out and picnics on the floor of the lounge if it was raining. Some years we went away in October half term (and one year they refused to leave the cottage to visit any stately homes or museums.). You can have fun and build memories without spending money to go abroad and sit by a pool.

We had plenty of years with no holidays or caravan holidays when I was growing up with two working parents. If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it. You’re not entitled to a ‘decent’ holiday. There’s loads of ways to enjoy time away without it costing a fortune.

I'm 52 now and an only child. When I was a child we couldn't afford a holiday at all. Our first family holiday was when I was 14 to a holiday camp on the Isle of Wight. My first foreign holiday was when I was in my 30s. It is what it is.

Could you look for cheap flights and book an airbnb somewhere? Or book a ferry to France and find a cheap gite with a swimming pool?

Package holidays have always been expensive, but you can have a great holiday abroad by doing it yourself and going to quieter hotels or apartments across Europe. Try Eastern Europe for cheaper options too. Slovenia and Montenegro both nice and not as dear as Spain etc.

OP I get where you’re coming from and I feel exactly the same. Prepandemic I was able to afford the sort of holiday I like abroad for myself and my child without too much thought. Like you, I now feel it’s become completely unaffordable. Which is gutting as I am someone who would have holidays as a top priority expense after the basic essentials of living.

It’s definitely not the only thing I’ve noticed in terms of the cost of living but I feel like I could just about cope with everything else if I could just keep up with my annual summer holiday routine. It’s depressing (and I have bipolar 1 disorder so when I say it’s depressing I mean it’s having a serious affect on my mental health, as pathetic as that might sound to others - I have had quite a hard life in many ways and this is my escape valve). Something about the change of routine and being able to swim outdoors and enjoy some sunshine without crazy heat and high pollen and pollution counts which set my asthma off.

And I’m not at all saying staycations or camping trips or caravan trips etc are somehow inferior. But for me personally, even though I had many holidays like this as a child and really enjoyed them, and also did train travel through Europe plus backpacked extensively elsewhere as a young adult staying in beach huts and hostels and overnight trains etc. and had a ball, I just don’t enjoy that sort of holiday the way I used to these days. I also find camping etc especially in the UK surprisingly expensive and honestly I genuinely feel it’s just not worth it for me.

I really like to get out of the UK once a year and go somewhere warm and sunny by the beach but with air con, so I can escape the heat when I need to, and not have to cook or clean etc. My son is now also a young adult and isn’t bothered about going on holiday at all, he says he is just as happy staying home on his screens, but I’d like his company, and I don’t think he himself realises how much he visibly relaxes and enjoys our holidays when he spends loads of time swimming outdoors and reading and doing craft stuff or sight seeing etc.

You’re not alone OP. I increasingly feel like what the point of working myself so hard in a high stress job that can affect my mental health when I can’t even afford a week abroad once a year and can only just about manage the bills.