AIBU to stop overperforming at work?

[ParotidPal]

I took a part-time, junior public sector job at 50 after a long private-sector career. Supposed to be an “easy” role, but because I’ve got loads of transferable skills I’ve been smashing it… and now they keep piling on more.

I’m working way beyond my hours, they won’t promote me, and I can’t seem to hold back and just do the basics like my colleagues.

AIBU to down tools a bit and stop over-delivering? How do I actually do that without feeling like I’m letting people down and experiencing a big dent in my professional pride?

Stop doing overtime unless you get paid. If you are a hard worker, and someone asks why xx wasn't done, you can say 'I was doing (no.1 priority) and (no.2 priority). I've been this person! And am in recovery.

So practical steps:

• Write down your to do list and identify whats in your job role and what isnt. And I mean properly, sit down and write it all out in a spreadsheet.
• for what isnt in your job role, deliberately hand something with low visibility back - think the kind of thankless admin stuff. Say 'I've taken on too much and I won't be able to make time for this, someone else needs to take it on' and then dont do it.
• look at the list and put things in priority order, with everything actually included in your role at the top. Then look at the 'not in role' stuff and only prioritise the stuff that will actively contribute towards career progression. And that might mean 'whats most visible' or something else, depending on industry.
• now the MOST important bit: actually work a week where you do things ONLY in the 'in your role' part of the list, and log on/off on time every day, and take your breaks. It's hard, but you need to almost prove to yourself that the sky doesn't fall in. It's just one week. You dont know how good you are at snowboarding unless you actually try it, and you need to practice something if you aren't very good at it. Tell yourself it's practice.

I've got more, but I'd need to know what your relationship with your manager is like. You can and will wind this back, as I dont recommend burning out!

Learn the word no

im sorry I can’t help this time

don’t work over your hours - if something will slip as a result message your boss and say so “I have put in a lot of extra hours which obviously can’t continue - what do you suggest I prioritise “ and only do that

Just do your hours and use the flexi time, and use your free time to do things that save you the money you have lost (eg cooking, selling clothes on Vinted) and that makes your health and happiness better

This is very good advice that I need to heed too!
Also in 50s!

What a horrible thing to say!

OP, you re-frame your thinking is how.

You're attaching 'professional pride' to being a 'people pleaser' and going above and beyond for an employer who wouldn't do the same for you.

It shows self worth and self confidence to be able to only work the hours they actually pay you for !

Working for free is stupid. It's exhausting. It's absolutely thankless, and it's definitely NOT reciprocated by your employer! It's what your employer is now 'expecting' from you because you've done it in the past.

Please note, that even if your employer is 100% aware that your workload is excessive, and they know you are working beyond your paid hours, they haven't offered to pay you overtime, they haven't offered to lessen your workload to fit within your paid hours, and very likely that they haven't even acknowledged your unpaid work, never mind thanked you for it, have they??

Stop doing it NOW. Simply work your paid hours and then leave work. Whatever is outstanding will still be there for you the next day you work.

If you employer comments/complains simply say 'I'm afraid the volume of work you are assigning me is impossible to complete within my working hours, but I'm happy to prioritize what you need me to within the time available? Or you could offer to work overtime, but only PAID overtime, or even to temporarily increase your working hours (again, only if PAID).

I used to do a lot of work in my own time because it was something I enjoyed doing. (research) However when I decided to go to uni as a mature student I gradually dropped the rope on all these extra dutues and used my free time for researching universities and courses. This was the early 1980s so no internet. It meant trips to the central library, browsing uni prospectuses. Later when I got interviews from all 5 on the UCCAS form it meant taking leave for out of town trips to look around the campus.

I never took time off sick or slacked during this process, I worked for the hours I was paid and no more than that. I just gradually stopped all the little extras I had been doing. So the work had to be done within the formal hours. Nowadays they call it quiet quitting.

I can remember the last appraisal I had from my boss, who infrerrred that I "did not seem to be as productive as in the past." I agreed with him and told him I had other priorities now. He then said that he had noticed I had been taking single days of my leave allocation and asked if I had been attending interviews. I admitted that yes I had, but offered no furtherd details. I allowed him to conclude that I was applying for other jobs.

As we talked I was holding a firm offer from the uni of my choice and had only to arrange accommadation in the new city. Its a wonderful feeling to have the opportunity to tell someone that you categorically would not be there next year, so there was really no point in continuing the conversation. I can still remember the blank look on his face when I did so.

Four weeks later I wrote to the chief executive "Dear Mr M, I am writing to tender my resigantion from (organization) as of YY"

That was it.

@ParotidPal if you work for the government every hour you work over your allocated hours are then given back to you (maybe councils are different) but central government they are given back.

So anyone who is ambitious, has pride in their job or seeks to help colleagues with their workload is “unbearable”… OK then.

And people wonder why theres a productivity crisis in this country.

She isn't ambitious she thinks she's better than everyone else despite having zero sector experience and apparently being incapable of promotion from a very junior role.

My experience of people like this is that they think they're the bee's knees but make shit calls, create work from nowhere for no reason and get outraged when their appraisals are mediocre.

"But I worked in private practice!!!!"

I know and if you were this useless there I pity your paying clients my friend.

@Fragmentedbrain

She isn't ambitious she thinks she's better than everyone else despite having zero sector experience and apparently being incapable of promotion from a very junior role.

Do you know the OP?

Because if not you’re just projecting your own prejudice onto a situation about which you know nothing…

I can read what she wrote

She thinks she took a scummy beneath her gig and is outraged no one else agrees how special she is (query why she had to take such a wretched lowly public sector, ugh, post in the first place).

When it seems like everyone else is the problem it usually means you're the problem

@Fragmentedbrain

She thinks she took a scummy beneath her gig and is outraged no one else agrees how special she is (query why she had to take such a wretched lowly public sector, ugh, post in the first place).
When it seems like everyone else is the problem it usually means you're the problem

If that chip on your shoulder was any bigger you would walk with a limp.

There is literally nothing in the OP's post that suggests any of this is true.

I'm assuming you are working all this overtime and they aren't paying you for it. Every employer under the sun will take advantage of someone who goes above and beyond, and puts in extra hours for no extra pay, and they will be so happy about it, they will not consider you for promotion. Why should they? They are already getting that higher-level of work out of you.

Please don't be daft about this. Just stop doing it.

@toomuchfaff
“I don’t have capacity for this, unless you want me to deprioritise XYZ”
Omg I need to practice saying this in the mirror!

@Whatbloodysummer And this "I'm afraid the volume of work you are assigning me is impossible to complete within my working hours"

Thanks oh wise women of MN 👑 exactly the reality check I needed (fragmented brain aside 😂). I’ve been a total mug — classic people pleaser. And you’re right, why would they ever pay/promote me when I’m giving it all away for free?

You dont always have to say tin words. Just shift it to the bottom of the pile and let the work mount up. When asked "Oh I havnt got around to that yet"

Unless you work in the NHS or a similar environment no one is going to die iif you cant do the work in the hours you are paid for. Thats a management problem and not an employee problem.

There is an old saying that "The more you do the more you can do" and employers will take advantage of this the whole time"

Wow! I didn’t get that at all!

Thank you @Thundertoast This is plan for next week!

@ParotidPal I struggled with this coming from a private sector that expects blood & then asks for more. Afraid to say it but I went for a promotion which helped. I also had a tough personal year which as a pp said made me a bit lazier!

The art of saying No is very liberating in my 50s…I didn’t dare do it in my 30-40s and burnt out.
My go to is “I can pick that up but will be unable to deliver the xyz outcomes you have asked me for within the capacity I have? Which would you like me to focus on? “
I’m very organised and work P/T and get very peed off when a couple of my F/T colleagues can’t deliver their work load and I get asked to “support” them ffs we are the same level they just don’t focus half the time on the outcomes just fuss around the process… Hope you can get back control of the focused to do list as it is the way to handle this.

Yes act your wage. You aren't letting anyone down. They're taking advantage and you're letting them.