Walk away from friendship?

[herewegogogox]

I have been in a friendship group since high school, there is 5 of us. Like a typical friendship group some are closer to each other than others, I would say the friend i am talking about likes me the least, she asked all the others to be her bridesmaids, made excuses to not attend my hen doo and I have always felt like shes made more effort with other group members on special occasions but as I am also closer to others in the group I have just let this go.

We have all married with kids, in our early 30s, we try to make time to meet up for lunches etc but with work and schedules life gets in the way!

Anyway... I have recently been diagnosed with an auto immune condition, I am awaiting treatment and have been given a estimated date this will take place.

My friend recently started up her own business, I havent had chance to make her aware of my diagnosis it has been recent.

She wrote in the group that she is starting a new business and running an event. I wrote in the group that I am having some health issues at present which are awaiting treatment so couldn't commit to that date as that is when my treatment is due to commence but I wish her the best.

The other group members messaged me privately asking me what is going on, she didn't even acknowledge it and started talking about something else.

This has left me a little bit confused, like she maybe thinks I dont want to attend and I am making excuses? Or maybe she doesn't give two craps. Another group member has completely ignored invite and yet this person is still commenting all over her posts on Facebook kissing her a** despite being ignored.

Now I know we have never been the closest but this has left a sour taste in my mouth as it my health.

WWYD?

AIBU to be upset by this?

YANBU.

But I think this is also what happens in larger groups of friends. There's going to pairs and threes that are closer, and others that aren't as close, but are happy to get along for the sake of the wider group.
I'd personally say that it's not that she doesn't like you as such... She's just not that into you.
What's that saying? You can be the juiciest peach on the tree, but there'll always be someone who doesn't like peaches.

You kind of already know from past incidents that she’s not really YOUR friend. She’s a friend of your friends.
Just ignore and move on. No big deal.

My friendships used to be like this in my 20's to 40's. Everyone over analysing every last little thing. I'm older now, and having moved to a new location, I have new friends (well, 5+ years friendships) and we are all a bit older. No one gives a crap or analyses anything within the friendship group, or within Whatsapp groups. If someone doesn't answer for weeks - no biggy. If someone misses a night out - no biggy. It's SO refreshing.

My advice would be to concentrate on yourself, your family, and treat everything and everyone else as a side hobby. Things are rarely personal. The time you are spending going over messages and stalking FB posts is time that could have been spent with your DH and kids - step back from it all. Good luck with the treatment. Your real friends will come through for you. Everyone else is fodder.

Thank you all - your advice was so appreciated! 💓