My son to be excluded from surprise

[Puel]

Last year my sister held a surprise birthday party for her son (my nephew). We had all the kids (mainly my other nephews and nieces) hiding behind sofa, behind curtains, under table etc and the idea was that the kids would jump out of their hiding places and shout surprise when birthday boy walks in.

So - birthday boy walks in and my son jumped out shouting “suprise!”

this was met with tutting from the adults and all the kids fuming at him for “ruining it”. This was literally what they were told to do!!

Fast forward to this year and my other sister is holding the same kind of party for her son. I’ve been told that DS can stay in the kitchen with the adults until the suprise bit is over with as they don’t want it ruining again.

Im livid. AIBu to think they’re being petty, mean and bloody childish?? I’d be more than happy to tell him not to jump out until the other kids have but they won’t even give him a chance.

How petty to punish a child for being overexcited. I wouldn't bother going, bring your DC to do something else instead.

You’re sister is a twat, I’d have other plans that day.

surely if she does these “surprise” things for everyone’s birthday it no longer becomes a surprise!

Is your son a bit older than the other cousins so is seen as more grown up whereas their kids are still precious little babies?

Don't go and exclude them next time you give a party.

Honestly how ridiculous. He jumped out and said surprise. They need to get over it. Fuck that, I wouldn’t be going

Sounds like a massive overreaction - surely they just need to have a 'practice'.
And why repeat the same thing for the other chid - surely he will be expecting it!

Your sister is being a bit unkind here.

It doesn't sound like your 9 year old was spoiling it on purpose. He just didn't quite understand the plan. Easily done. Everyone makes mistakes. He's only 9. No need for your sister to punish him and exclude him.

I hate bloody surprise parties. Your son sounds great. Send the Birthday boy a card with SURPRISE! in big letters written on it.

Its not really going to be a suprise if it was only done last year! Yanbu how tidieous & boring.

I wouldn’t go. It sounds ridiculous and bullying.

I'm laughing at these suggestions. Maybe hide in a bush outside and shout surprise from there when the birthday boy walks up the path?

Your sister is a bitch to put it nicely!!

That's so hurtful for your son. I'd go late with him or just not bother. Fancy excluding him like that! He's 9 not an adult. Im sorry OP, that sounds horrible and you're right to be upset about it.

Ostracism is a very (very) harsh punishment for anyone let alone a young child. Your sister is being monstrous, not even exaggerating when I say this will be one for the therapists couch when your son gets older if she is allowed to separate him for this.
I think you need to be busy that day at the very least, to protect him. And I would be having a very serious conversation with your sister about the heaviness of what she is trying to do to him.
Not ok, what a cow!

To be honest your sister sounds pathetic. A second surprise party. Personally I would give it a miss or at least arrive later than the surprise part so your son doesn't get excluded.

Imagine being an adult and giving the slightest shit that someone said "surprise" early 🤣

I wouldnt be agreeing to DS staying in the kitchen. On the day id tell him to take his place with the other kids and just try to wait until someone else jumps put first but if he didnt, ah well, thats just too bad.

It’s not going to be much of a surprise is it as it happend last year. Don’t bother going, or arrive later

Why don't you just turn up a bit later with your son, after the tedious 'surprise' bit has happened, that way you don't need to put your son through the experience of being excluded from the group endeavour but you both still get to go to the party?

😂😂😂😂 brilliant!!!

Surely it won’t be a surprise this year anyway - birthday boy will probably be expecting it. Anyway it’s extremely petty of your sister to exclude your son.

Excellent suggestion 😂

If all he did was jump out too early then it was an accident, there’s no need for him to stay in another room this time, someone can just explain to him not to jump out so soon.

This!!

Unless (soon-to-be-feigning-surprise) nephew two is a toddler/has no functioning memory, I feel like this is a load of drama over some serious old hat.

I’d have pissed myself laughing if my nephew jumped out alone while the rest of them all stayed hiding, because it’s objectively funny. And very much the sort of thing kids do. And also, I like my nephew. Your sister is in danger of making your son feel like a scapegoat and outcast over SFA - parties are meant to be fun. Okay, arguably your DS marginally cocked up the timing but did he? Cos as you’ve said, he was the only one who actually followed the instructions given and he’s not psychic. What were all the rest of them waiting for?

I’d be inclined to say to him, they’re being weird, you did what they asked you to do, and that didn’t please em, so let’s not bother this time. IMO the adults are taking it awful seriously considering they’re not nine! If he wants to go I suppose that’s a bit trickier but I think I’d just be running late. Bonus if you pull up at the same time as your sister carrying a giant wrapped gift and a balloon saying SURPRISE (joke but, come on, some people don’t know what a real problem is).