Compulsory swimming lessons

[Mumof2amazingasdkiddos]

My DD10 is in a social and communication unit attached to a mainstream school and is diagnosed ASD. I've just been informed that this year includes compulsory swimming lessons as part of PE. I fully agree swimming is a necessary life skill and I want her to have the lessons.

However she is the only girl in her class along with 7 boys (all great friends and not been an issue for the past 2 years) and she is going through puberty. Her breasts are starting to grow and she has some pubic hair. DD is very private with her body and doesn't allow me to be in her room when she's changing and only reluctantly allows me in the bathroom to wash her hair where she sits in the bath with her hands covering her boobs.

How do I navigate this? What swimwear is easy to get on/off, she does struggle a little still with dressing and sometimes needs a hand but only once her underwear is on which obviously will not be the case at swimming. Also related she struggles to get dressed after her bath like most DC do when they insist on drying themselves and will sometimes get her bra/knickers twisted and needs help adjusting them.
What questions do I need to ask the school in regards to how they intend to get the children changed? Obviously we are working on her independence and have been for years but there are still some things she struggles with and these won't be sorted before the lessons.
Do I agree to the lessons full stop or do I attend with her?

I've literally only just been informed of this so I admit I'm spiralling slightly, can anyone help just talk this through with me please?

And once again you awesome strangers in my phone have helped me! @Talkingfrog it didn't occur to me to book and check timings for our practice run! I promise I'm a competent human and actually reasonably intelligent but perimenopause really has stopped my brain from braining on the most random things!

@MonsterBoo the letter sent home says compulsory swimming lessons but if I refused they would absolutely accept that. However I do really want her to have the lessons as I can't afford them privately (especially as I'd need an ASD competent instructor) and I do think its a valuable life skill to learn.

@Thortour we have been looking at some vest/short combos and she's a bit unsure as she thinks she will be in trouble if she chooses anything but a one piece suit. Her teacher will reassure her about this on Monday and then we can look again next week, unfortunately I think a swim t-shirt would be pushing it too far and she would feel more uncomfortable wearing one as it isn't "proper" but I appreciate you taking the time to post with your suggestion as it might well help another parent facing this who comes across this post.

It's funny really that I have zero concerns at all about the actual in the pool bit (I do forsee some minor issues but I'm confident that the staff will help her overcome these) all my anxiety and spiralling has all been about the bit before and after getting into the water!

Also perimenopausal, hacd underactive thyroid and waiting for results for possibly being celiac. Completely understand the brain fog 🙂

I hope you are not celiac as you've enough going on and as much as I'm grateful you understand the brain fog I really wish you didn't

Thanks. Results could race a while, but at least I will know either way.

Im a school swimming teacher and we have restrictions on two piece suits or low cut suits incase it goes down or riding up.You can get one piece that zips up and is easier to get on and off depends on the centres policy. You can get poncho towels or wrap around which will help with changing.

Do children not learn to apply talc as the last stage of getting dry these days? It would solve the problem of clothes sticking to damp skin. Or is that just too complicated for ND children?

My son is Autistic and gets short breaks grants for swimming lessons. Best to check with your local council.

Talc would be considered sensory it's not something my son would like on his skin.

Talc is very, very rarely used as some brands were linked to I believe cervical cancer. My kids are 10 and 12 and never seen it! We’ve been swimming two - three times a week for 10 years and i can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen it. It would make the floors horrid and they are bad enough!

My DS has dyspraxia and he's 13 now but only been swimming with school for about a year.
I made sure he was changing independently way before this, easier I suppose if it's me taking him not DH. "Busy now, I'll get to you in a minute... Oh you've done your shorts ok I'll just run and check your sister... Oh well done... Oh I'm going to get a coffee, meet me in the cafe".
The last battle was his locker key wristband and the last two times we went to the sports centre I had a gym class and he was swimming and he did it himself because I wasn't there.

Amazon.co.uk : zip up swimsuit girls https://share.google/horAOKpC95BVUpRtj.

What about this op? Can get short or long sleeves easier to get on and off. Can come as all in one with shorts.

If her hair is long and she can tolerate plaits then she will just be able to squeeze them with a towel. Will the school maybe allow and help with one of those microfibre hair towels on the way back? We have one from Home Bargains.

Decathlon do swimming shorts and rash vests. I'm sure loads of other places too. A two piece of some description will be miles easier. And will be able to wear under clothes and go to the loo in all day.

I totally understand how you feel when these things come up. It's so complicated. Going ahead of time sounds good. Teachers sound amazing and I'm sure your daughter will be in great hands.

My daughter is 12 and is autistic. She can’t cope with a typical bathing suit so has always worn shorts and a rash guard. She got a long leg tankini at next and wears it with a boys rash guard top just now.

she has her period now and has period swim bottoms - just cheap and cheerful ones from Amazon but they help her feel more secure as needed.

my daughter didn’t like her hair being wet after. The leisure centre they use has a few dryers but if your daughter has long hair you might want to pack an extra towel or practice hair drying if it’s a trigger for her.

I bought a combined shorts and tank top swim suit for a trip to the middle east and honestly it has been my best swimsuit for public pool swimming. No need to worry about pubic hair and it comes quite high on the chest like a vest top and has a double layer on the boob part. I wear it when zi take tge kids seimming as its easy and I dont need to worry about shaving. If you can find somrthing similar I think it would be a good option.

Rash vets and shorts

SHEIN Tween Girls Tropical Coconut Tree Print Short-Sleeve One-Piece Swimsuit,Black Bathing Suit ,Girls Surf Suit Summer Holiday | SHEIN
NOT suggesting Shein but i was pleased to see this rather nice swimsuit marked as adaptive.

Talc is dangerous and very rarely used if at all nowadays thankfully

I'd recommend a hair towel for after. If she’s got long hair or she’ll have wet hair dripping down her back.
Two piece is much easier to get changed in and out of. Poncho towel is useful but if she has her own cubicle that solves a lot of issues!

If you can I’d enquire with the centre about lessons after. Usually schools only do a few lessons which isn’t enough to teach someone to swim properly if they’ve not done it before. Maybe there is a scheme you can access?

I swim and the struggle to get my bra on afterwards really put me off. I find that slathering my underbust in Nivea soft immediately before I put then bra on helps.

She’s going into a specialist sen unit - they already do all that as they know what they are doing!

This is what I was concerned about that there may be restrictions, DDs lovely teacher is checking but doesn't think there will be an issue, however its clearly is a valid concern and one I'm glad I checked and to be aware if I'm able to continue the lessons outside of the school group to check with the instructor. Thank you for taking the time to post its appreciated.

I personally have never used talc on either of my DC and I don't know any person that does given the now known link to certain cancers. Indeed I'm in my 40s and I don't recall my mother ever using it on me and my siblings.

I also can't decide if you are asking a genuine question with your last sentence and looking to educate yourself on the various difficulties ND children may experience or if you are being astoundingly rude and nasty? I'm going to think the best and answer as if it's a genuine question, ND children are just like NT children, no two are the same. SEN, ASD, ADHD, whatever other initials you can think of that may 'describe' an ND child are all a sliding scale, so whereas one ND child may struggle with a task such as getting dressed after swimming, another ND child would have no issues at all and need no help. In much the same way a NT child may be an excellent mathematician whereas another NT child may need a tutor and extra help to understand basic mathematical concepts.

I repeat, most if not all ND is a sliding scale of need, some ND may not need any support navigating the world, some may need a little support, some may need a lot.

There is a saying I will leave you with, "If you have met one autistic person then you have met one autistic person" Do not expect all autistic people to be the same just as you would not expect all non autistic people to be the same.

This is exactly what we are working on but I admit I've not stood back enough at times. Since back to school and before I knew about the swimming lessons I have made a conscious effort to do this, "i just need to pack your snack/get your younger DB sorted/insert excuse to get me out of the room here" as I know I'm guilty of just jumping in and fixing it as its quicker and less stressful. I know this is a disservice to DD though and I thought I had a bit longer to get better at backing off but the imminent lessons means I'm ramping up efforts to get her the last little bit across the line to full independence with dressing

Where is that image from? I love that! OP you've had some great advice. Preparation is key and maybe let your DD practise in the bath with taking it off when wet. Teach her to put socks inside shoes and clothes in her bag with towel on top so nothing gets wet on the changing room floor.

I've added the link to my bookmarks to check out later with DD thank you.

You and a few others have mentioned the zip up front swimwear, am I being really silly and mean towards the really lovely boys in her class if my mind goes straight to "the boys might unzip it" (the answer by the way is yes lol the boys aren't like that at all and honestly I'm not even sure they've realised shes a girl as they just all see each other as mates)