To think middle-class people pretend they’re “struggling” just to feel relatable?

[SnarkyMintWren]

They’ve got houses, cars, holidays, yet they moan about the cost of living like they’re on the breadline. AIBU to think it’s performative “struggle” for sympathy?

It does drive me mad when I hear the competitive race to the bottom from people who are doing well in life.

Yes, we must all be struggling and in tears, because they are out to get us!

or

Everyone has their cross to bear, let’s not compete who’s cross is the crossest, eh.

Yep one couple of teachers I know constantly plead poverty - shop frugally at Aldi, they’re all underweight, live in a freezing house, never buy presents/cards for family because they’re supposedly skint, borrow and beg clothes, leech off family. Oh God do people feel sorry for them…Reality is they have holidays abroad every term break and are tight fisted so they’re banking every spare penny into savings and off their mortgage.

If it’s about life choices, it’s not struggling.

Just because you cannot relate to their situation, doesn’t mean it isn’t challenging for them.

Most people live to their income - middle class people’s costs are going up too, and if you have high outgoings those increases can be difficult to keep up with eg the mortgage payment going up by hundreds a month.

I think most people are finding their income today doesn’t fund anything like the lifestyle it did even five years ago due to high inflation.

It’s because they’re struggling to afford a middle class lifestyle.

They absolutely can’t imagine a life where they can’t afford a house, groceries etc as it’s just a given they will have it.

But if they can no longer afford private schools, m&s shops and 3 holidays a year, their life still feels downgraded and more of a struggle (to them) even though it’s objectively a very nice life.

I think the problem is the standard of living for everyone has dropped.

I am not saying the poorest don’t struggle the most as quite clearly they would do.

However people are finding that they earn the same or even more than they did 5-10 years ago but can’t afford the things they did then and are - rightly so- upset about this.

The middle class is shrinking, people are falling off at the bottom end because prices are so high. People at the very top are buying properties to secure wealth and moving up.

So yes, middle class people are struggling… to maintain their lifestyles. Not to survive.

Because they have office jobs doesn’t mean they are not struggling, also a change of circumstances can cause people to have to change lifestyle significantly. I know people who once had affluent lifestyles but couldn’t afford a camping trip this summer, they still have the trappings, eg nice house, 2 cars but they need to live somewhere and often it’s cheaper to pay the mortgage than rent, and they need two cars to get to 2 jobs

My mum used to volunteer for the CAB after she retired. She reported on the number of older people who came in pleading poverty and trying to get additional help, who turned out to have hundreds of thousands in savings. They felt 'poor' because their income was low but had enormous assets & didn't see why should have to touch their savings. I always remembered that when I read the WFP sob stories trotted out by the press.

So @SnarkyMintWren, what do you think of the responses so far?

Everyone is allowed to have a moan about the cost of living, it is a bit ridiculous.

Just cos people can afford to eat out, etc doesn't mean they don't look at the price of meals nowadays and think what the hell!

And are these people actually moaning or are they just saying I can't afford to do xyz. I've chosen to have a mortgage, and also spend my money on other things people would see as extravagant, but it now means I can't afford to eat out loads cos my money goes on a mortgage and a loan payment. I'm not moaning but if my freinds decided they want to eat out and I say I can't afford to maybe they'll stick me in the category you've stated...

I think it’s fine for people to feel upset if they can’t afford a summer holiday, even if they have housing and food. It shouldn’t be a race to the bottom.

People can't win! If they didn't do this and instead talked about how financially secure they are, you'd say they were smug / showing off / tone deaf.

Quite a few threads recently about how much "middle class people" are trying to "relate" (to the "working class") posted recently. You'd think that there was some sort of hatred of them going down.

There are two classes, the working class and the capitalist class. The working class has a wide spectrum of people who do not own the means of production, and some of them will struggle more than others or may (for now) appear to be very comfortable. Those transitions can change in a flash because they have no true control over their circumstances.

I think it’s understandable to complain that a middle class lifestyle now is very different to previous generations. I’m not saying that this is the case for all the moaners since shopping at Waitrose, a private school education or whatever isn’t a right but it is human to think that future generations should be able to have what the current generation has.

Christ I hate these threads. It’s like only people on UC are allowed to feel the pinch or struggle with COL and the only ones that are allowed to vent their frustrations. Anyone else needs to shut up because others have it worse.

All our lives we are being told to get on the property ladder, to push for promotions, get multiple qualifications. Then people want to have DC, maybe two, and extra costs add up. So once you finally manage to get there, COL (mortgages, bills, transport) is climbing and you’re at risk of losing it all.

The other part here is that when you own a property you have to pay for all maintenance yourself - your fence falls in the wind? Random £500 out of your own pocket, boiler service? £100, your bath starts leaking £200. You don’t have those random expenses eating in to monthly allowances that you’ve not budgeted for in council properties because they get covered

The regular responses to this are: ‘don’t have kids if you can’t afford them’ and I’d say that 1. what if you could at the time but childcare costs keep rising 2. a person on UC wouldn’t be met with this type of response unless they considered DC number 3 and

’live to your means, don’t buy or do things you can’t afford’ - well, you can afford them at the time but again, the goal post keeps shifting

The holiday comment is also frustrating because just like anyone on UC who manages to save for a holiday, so do ‘middle class’ people, as middle class is honestly such a large spectrum of incomes

So whilst I can’t dispute that people on lower incomes have it hard, I wouldn’t instantly jump to saying that anyone who is considered middle class is not allowed to find things difficult at times and I certainly wouldn’t label it as wanting to be relatable. You’re comparing apples with pears

I do think you can be middle class and struggling. For example, mortgages have gone up significantly. Interest rates have increased a lot in the last few tested, so people coming off their fixed deals could be increasing be several hundred a month.

Also, middle class people aren’t immune to the hike in food prices, energy etc.

It's all relative - someone can be objectively well off and still 'feel the pinch' vs how their life was a few years back. I personally wouldn't be moaning about it on social media (especially if I was in the objectively well off category) but then people often seem to lack self awareness.

But Lurpak really has gone up. A lot. 😂

Not being able to afford the things you used to be able to, despite earning more than ever is annoying however you ‘class’ yourself.

I think anyone of any income can moan about prices going up or feeling overcharged for something. And middle class doesn't necessarily mean riches. Most of us are only there by the grace of god and could be in a very different financial situation quite quickly if we lost our jobs or became ill.

Many are quite incapable of managing
many are having to make changes
many are less well off than the working classes

Also a lot of people have not significant amounts of debt, so not as much money in their pockets as you might think.

Everything is relative isn't it? The middle classes probably don't have as much as you think these days. Middle class isn't a synonym for wealthy.

It's worrying that everyone is getting poorer apart from a subset of the very rich who are getting richer.

If you are turning on the people just above or below you then you are missing the point.