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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To remove the drive way double gates on shared driveway between me and neighbour.

43 replies

MeDadMeDad · 04/09/2025 13:11

Aibu that I have removed the driveway double gates this morning.

In a dispute with neighbour, I have come out to use my driveway this morning and found that the neighbour next door has padlocked the gates, which I was unable to bring my car up the drive off the road.

We have disputed this for the past 18 years. He has done this before. Solicitors and council were involved and everyone agreed it was a shared driveway between the 2 properties. He's council, we own our property.

We have the deeds to prove that it's shard as well. Council say its a civil matter and they are not getting involved this time. To go to solicitors again.

Also the gate post has been extremely loose for many months because he is refusing to pay half for the repair of the post that a council van had back into.

The schools have started back this week and I was frightened that the post would fall on a child. We live at the back of a infant and primary school.

I have taken double gates off so I have access to the drive and also until the dispute is sorted about payment of the post. It took 3 shoves and post and gate was down.

I've now got his lock and 2 double gates and one post in my back garden.

Just looking for advice and opinions please.

It's important that I have access to the driveway as other neighbour over the road has dangerous dogs who have run up to mine to attack in past. So the driveway is a safe space for my dogs to get in and out of the car daily as I take them on a private field.

So for the typos.

OP posts:
tryingtobesogood · 04/09/2025 13:14

Nothing constructive about the dispute to add but I do think you need to return his property so he can't accuse you of theft. I guess the rest will be dealt with by solicitors

Sorry, this sounds awful

Original poster
MeDadMeDad · 04/09/2025 13:19

@tryingtobesogood I will return the property. I didn't think of that. Thank you.

OP posts:
toomuchfaff · 04/09/2025 13:33

if he wants to out up a post, and one gate - let him, leaving you half free? not sure if thats an option. Otherwise id be leaving my drive ungated.

LaurieFairyCake · 04/09/2025 13:36

Return the lock only. Do not give him back the gates as he will just put them back in with concrete. I’d get the scrap man to come and get them.

LoughboroughBex · 04/09/2025 13:38

Not really the main point but if he’s a council tenant then the council should be responsible to pay to fix the post?

sounds awful to deal with, sorry

PlutarchHeavensbee · 04/09/2025 13:40

Feel for you here. We have a shared driveway and twats for neighbours. Years ago they started deliberately obstructing our driveway access, because they’re twats. We took legal advice and were told that it could cost upwards of ten thousand pounds. Needless to say we didn’t bother, grey rocked them and within 6 weeks when they realised that they weren’t getting a rise out of us, they wound their necks in.

Invisablepanic · 04/09/2025 13:40

Is it a shared driveway that's completely open or is there a fence between the sides of the drive with a shared gate? I would probably have just removed anything on your side and left his, even if it made it more unstable (then reported a dangerous structure).

I agree with PPs though, put the items in his garden or at least near the boundary and accessible so you don't get accused of theft.

TallulahBetty · 04/09/2025 13:44

You know the rules - we need a diagram. Unsure if the whole drive is shared and open, and the gates across the whole thing, or if there is a diving fence down the middle?

BeltaLodaLife · 04/09/2025 13:45

He isn’t responsible for paying for the post. The council is. So, why were you asking him?

Regarding him locking the gate… has he said any reason why he thinks that’s even remotely ok? Is there something wrong with him that he doesn’t understand shared access?

He isn’t going to pay to have a gate fitted so you’re fine, and it’s not his property; it belongs to the council. I wouldn’t worry and I would totally ignore him. Maybe let the council know that the post fell down this morning so, for safety, you have removed it and the gate rather than leave them lying around to be use by vandals etc.

GameWheelsAlarm · 04/09/2025 13:52

Council tenants don't have to pay for repairs and maintenance beyond basic gardening and similar low-level ongoing tasks. Trying to get him to pay for the post was incorrect, but I doubt it would ever make it to the top of the Council's priority list.

The best solution would surely have been to just remove the key padlock using bolt-cutters and replace it with a combination-code padlock that you can both use, or a new key padlock that you buy that you can each have a key to.

Now that the gates are gone, the area is surely less secure and there's nothing stopping those other dogs you mention from coming onto the driveway.

But what's done is done.

Abitofalark · 04/09/2025 13:53

You might like to look at Garden Law forum; there's information and discussion there about drives and access etc and advice as well if you want it.

Original poster
MeDadMeDad · 04/09/2025 13:53

We told the council a few months ago if they would fix the gate. And because of council cut backs the council said the 2 properties have to pay to fix it. We obviously don't mind paying half the costs but. He would rather a concrete post fell and hit someone instead of pay half. There is no fence deviding drive way. And it's been agreed many times over the past 18 years from council and solicitors that its a shared drive between us and him.

We live in a house and he lives in a cottage flat. The ground floor flat is being moved into soon and they also want to use driveway to get his elderly mother to and from the car to her flat. I thnk he will cause a argument with them once they also start using the drive way

OP posts:
Original poster
MeDadMeDad · 04/09/2025 13:56

We told the council a few months ago if they would fix the gate. And because of council cut backs the council said the 2 properties have to pay to fix it. We obviously don't mind paying half the costs but. He would rather a concrete post fell and hit someone instead of pay half. There is no fence deviding drive way. And it's been agreed many times over the past 18 years from council and solicitors that its a shared drive between us and him.

We live in a house and he lives in a cottage flat. The ground floor flat is being moved into soon and they also want to use driveway to get his elderly mother to and from the car to her flat. I thnk he will cause a argument with them once they also start using the drive way

OP posts:
Original poster
MeDadMeDad · 04/09/2025 13:56

It's a long drive way so the other dogs would have to be quick to get to ours

OP posts:
Original poster
MeDadMeDad · 04/09/2025 13:57

It's a long drive way so the other dogs would have to be quick to get to ours

OP posts:
Original poster
MeDadMeDad · 04/09/2025 13:58

We don't have bolt cutters. And with the post being lose and a heath and safety risk it makes sense to remove everything

OP posts:
TinyGingerCat · 04/09/2025 14:02

Feel your pain OP - we had a similar issue. Do you own the land the easement goes over or does your neighbour? We ended up getting the police involved as our neighbour believed as she owned the land the easement was over she could stop me and another neighbour accessing our properties (she dug my drive up and planted trees in it when we were away too stop us accessing our house). Her behaviour was viewed as harassment by the police as it was persistent even after they told her to pack it in. I’d phone the non emergency number and talk to them to see if they will pay him a visit. We had this for 2 years before she was threatened with prosecution and she moved.

Lucked · 04/09/2025 14:06

You have documented that the post was loose.

Going forward I would focus on the safety aspect of the loose post and your concern regarding injury and liability and give that as the reason for removal rather than mentioning access at all. I wouldn’t mention the lock and you not being able to get out. Post a letter saying you were concerned for your child and had to take action. Offer the gate back but also storage in your garden. If you have their email send a copy to that too.

ETA. Make sure you CC the council about the removal as it actually belongs to them.

diddl · 04/09/2025 14:24

because of council cut backs the council said the 2 properties have to pay to fix it.

Even though one of their drivers damaged it?

That's shit!

Noodles1234 · 04/09/2025 17:51

I would have quickly removed the post and gate on my side. This is the sort of small minded act I can get behind!

our shared drive we own our half and they them, we cannot block our half and have to give way to them.

So post on my side is mine and his gate is useless without it.

we plan to move in the next 2-3 years as I don’t want a shared drive long term. However Labour are going to make this even more expensive amd I dread the costs.

Ilovechees3 · 04/09/2025 17:56

If a council van was responsible for the damage to the post, they are the ones who have to repair the damage through their insurance.

Northernladdette · 04/09/2025 18:01

PlutarchHeavensbee · 04/09/2025 13:40

Feel for you here. We have a shared driveway and twats for neighbours. Years ago they started deliberately obstructing our driveway access, because they’re twats. We took legal advice and were told that it could cost upwards of ten thousand pounds. Needless to say we didn’t bother, grey rocked them and within 6 weeks when they realised that they weren’t getting a rise out of us, they wound their necks in.

What does ‘grey rocked’ mean?

WearyAuldWumman · 04/09/2025 18:07

GameWheelsAlarm · 04/09/2025 13:52

Council tenants don't have to pay for repairs and maintenance beyond basic gardening and similar low-level ongoing tasks. Trying to get him to pay for the post was incorrect, but I doubt it would ever make it to the top of the Council's priority list.

The best solution would surely have been to just remove the key padlock using bolt-cutters and replace it with a combination-code padlock that you can both use, or a new key padlock that you buy that you can each have a key to.

Now that the gates are gone, the area is surely less secure and there's nothing stopping those other dogs you mention from coming onto the driveway.

But what's done is done.

Our council wouldn't pay for gates and so on - long-term tenants tend to do that for themselves, and might have to remove them at the end of the tenancy.

CopperWhite · 04/09/2025 18:09

YANBU, but HINBU for not paying for something that isn’t his responsibility. You want a gate, you pay for a gate. If you’re happy for there to be no gate, then your problem is solved.

PlutarchHeavensbee · 04/09/2025 18:09

Northernladdette · 04/09/2025 18:01

What does ‘grey rocked’ mean?

Show quote history

Act like they don’t exist. Don’t speak, look, engage… at all. Most bullying arseholes will get fed up if their shitty behaviour fails to get a rise.