To think the way you feel about something you did doesn’t change the outcome?

[TheWorthyBiscuit]

No matter how much you reflect on it, the facts remain the same and feeling guilty or regretful doesn’t alter the situation.

I'm not sure what exactly you are getting at, but for example, if you were driving carelessly and smashed someone's car up, then no matter how sorry you feel about what happened, the car is still smashed up, so in that respect, YANBU.

There must be a lot more nuanced examples.

Well yes, nobody can travel back in time.

However, people can move on in some situations.

No, but accountability and action sure do.

It’s hard to gauge what you’re on about really, but I have a family member who is well known for lamenting about her regrets for how she handled a situation, how sorry she is, how she realises she should have handled it differently and had different outcomes, but still doing exactly the same thing. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s a bit like a drug addict saying how sorry they are they got high when they promised they wouldn’t and how regretful they are about their behaviour, and in the next breath, doing a line. You can be sorry, feel shame and regret, blah blah blah, but it doesn’t matter much unless you act and demonstrate your accountability by changing that behaviour going forward.

Possibly true. But feeling regretful can change how you behave in the future, which could be helpful.
You can’t change anyone else, only yourself.

What is it with these gnomic posts from OPs who are unwilling or incapable or explaining themselves?

As an example, OP, it might make a difference to outcomes on this thread if you explained that you had hit 'post' too soon before offering an example of what you mean, rather than being deliberately non-specific for some other reason.

There’s no hidden agenda, I just wanted to hear people’s thoughts on the general idea. Some threads are meant to be open-ended, it’s not always about a personal anecdote or fishing for validation. But fair enough if it’s not your thing.