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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fed up of teams being dominated by certain people

5 replies

Shutup9 · 04/09/2025 09:48

We've got a well-balanced team of those who are extroverted and outgoing, those who keep to themselves and don't interact much and a few somewhere in the middle.
I'm glad it's a balance as my previous team was very cliquey.

However in this team I'm finding it's the 'Jane and Jessica show' (names changed).

We deal with customer queries and Jane of course has more complex queries than anyone else (in her head), she has it harder than anyone else, the complex calls are all being diverted to her apparently.
Every meeting is dominated by Jane and Jessica who are bezzies with our manager and so get extra responsibilities that the rest of us don't have access to. I did ask my manager for progression opportunities and was told there aren't any.
In meetings they act like school bullies, saying 'come on, speak! To us whilst simultaneously not letting anyone get a word in. I do contribute but I'm just fed up of them.

I am looking for another job and have an interview for a leadership position thankfully next week. This is just working life I guess, isn't it? Anyone else?

OP posts:
Shutup9 · 04/09/2025 09:53

I find in customer service type roles there's always one person flapping about and every customer conversation is a massive drama, she has to announce it to the whole team every time about how hard it is for her, the rest of us get the odd difficult one but manage to get on with it somehow.

OP posts:
HoLeeFuk · 04/09/2025 09:55

They sound insufferable. It's so unprofessional for a manager to favour team members based on personality, not performance.

I've just left a steering committee because there was a Jane/Jessica in it. She dominated all the meetings and nobody else could share their views.

Shutup9 · 04/09/2025 09:58

It's annoying, isn't it. The other one constantly tells us she has ADHD, dyslexia and autism to the point where I want to say, 'Really, you never mentioned it?" And therefore every task is far more difficult for her than the rest of us.
I'm not disputing the fact that she has them but she makes it her identity and brings it up at every chance.

OP posts:
MermaidMummy06 · 04/09/2025 10:05

I'm in a job now where the managers besties get the opportunities. Manager hates me simply because her & my DH (same company) don't get along & I'm a threat because I have similar quals to her. I even brought it up at my review last week & was told I was imagining it. We work on pay levels attached to responsibility so of course I'm lower. I used to manage staff so know what to do!

I was also told I respond too quickly so need to pause longer before responding because mustn't be listening. And my voice is too loud. It's left me flabbergasted as they laugh & guffaw around the office & I have to close my door to make a phone call if they're in the kitchen (but that noise can't be avoided, apparently). I come from an environment where you speak clearly & quickly or you miss out in meetings. 20 years & I never had a complaint there.

I'm looking for another job. It's the only thing you can do, really. You can't beat bullies

UnhappyHobbit · 04/09/2025 11:43

Yeah it’s annoying. There is a new clique issue when I work in the office and I’m keen to remove myself from it. I also find team meeting insufferable. If I have to hear about one of my teams DDs bowel habits once more, I think I’m going to scream.

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