To wonder whether there will be no childless female celebrities in the future.

[JNicholson]

I’m turning 40 this year. Single. No kids. Over the last few years I’ve been conscious that there were a few female celebrities of about my age or a bit older who didn’t have kids yet - Elisabeth Moss, Hayley Atwell, Aisling Bea, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Michelle Dockery. The first three have all had a kid in the last year or so, and PWB and MD are just recently announced as pregnant.

Obviously in one way it has no bearing on my life, but it sort of feels like the opposite of what the media seem to be constantly claiming, which is that fewer and fewer women are having children. In real life most women my age that I know of have had kids, and now that all of the above celebrities have or are having kids I’m not sure I can actually think of any well-known actresses in my age group who don’t have them.

I guess I’m just thinking that I can think of several famous women 50 or older who never had kids (Helen Mirren, Kim Cattrall, Jennifer Aniston), and a few who had kids at 45+ via adoption (Diane Keaton, Kristin Davis, Sandra Bullock). But I can’t actually think of famous actresses my age who don’t have them. AIBU to wonder whether with the improvements in reproductive technology and egg freezing etc, availability of surrogacy etc, childless female celebrities will become a thing of the past? Obviously us ordinary mortals can’t afford those things, but if you’re a celebrity and you can afford to have a baby on your own timeline, and as much childcare as you want etc, there’s sort of no reason not to?

I just feel increasingly isolated in my society and wider culture I guess, really doesn’t feel like what the statistics claim about more and more women being single and childless. I don’t really feel I know anyone like me, even the couple of women my age who don’t have kids have partners.

I have 4 best friends my age (40-42) and a SIL (45). 3 are single. One of them is adopting alone, but not one of them has a biological child and they're either unlikely to or definitely won't. I think though that the real drop in birth rate is down to women (like me) stopping at one because it's expensive and exhausting trying to parent and work.

There are some examples anyway - Anna Kendrick, Alison Brie.

I have 4 friends approx 40 years old, who have no children.

Thanks, I had forgotten about Anna Kendrick (didn’t know about Alison Brie). It sounds like they are both choosing to be childfree, which in a way feeds into my point: I wonder if reproductive technologies have become advanced enough now that no-one with enough money for them will be childless in the future if they don’t want to be. They might need a donor egg and/or a surrogate, but they can have a child.

I know a few women in their 40s/50s who are child free.

i dont doubt , some (maybe all), if they had access to celebrity level wealth, would have adopted or bought a womb

Im your age and have loads of friends, none of us have children or want them. However ive been freelance my whole life and so have my friends - maybe there's a correlation there

I am sure there will remain some, given the proportion of women who are unable to conceive, carry to term, remain single, or whose partner/husband (if they are straight) cannot father a child.

I am saddened to read that you feel isolated. The last figure I read was that one in five women by their mid-forties have never had a child, don't know if that is current but doubt it is much different.

About a third of my female friends (late 30s-mid 40s) don’t have children. I’ve not really thought about whether celebrities have children or not. Celebrities are a pretty small (and skewed) sample size, I don’t think you can extrapolate any meaningful population trends from it.

There is a rise in only child families but globally the decrease in birth rate is due to the rise in singles

https://archive.is/Vwi1a

If you’re asking can anyone have a baby if they want one and have enough money… then yes, we are at the point where the medtech exists to facilitate anyone in that scenario having a baby.

Although there will be plenty of people and celebrities who might want a baby but don’t want surrogacy or where they give up on IVF before it works, and you’ll never know whether they are child free by circumstance or by choice.

I'm 49 with no kids, and of my six closest friends, three have kids and three don't. That's not a case of 'like calls to like', either - I met all of these women in my teens or early 20s, before any of us had kids.

I'm really sorry you feel isolated. I certainly wouldn't take celebrities as your benchmark, though.

I know quite a lot of women who have chosen not to have children and are all in their 40s or 50s.

They are mostly in long term relationships and not having children was a choice, not a brought about through circumstances.

Social circles vary of course but I’m
a bit surprised you don’t know anyone in a similar position to yourself it’s really not that uncommon.

I wonder if reproductive technologies have become advanced enough now that no-one with enough money for them will be childless in the future if they don’t want to be.

Surely this is a good thing? As we can hope that soon nobody, regardless of income, need be childless unless they want to be.

Sorry to hear that you feel a bit isolated OP. I think you would feel better if you had some childless friends- have you looked into Gateway Women to meet others in your position? Then the celeb thing might not bother you so much.

Virtually all the women I know are childfree and intend to stay that way. I went on a hen weekend with 16 other women in their late thirties to late forties last month; only one of us had a child, only one other is undecided.

I don’t pay enough attention to celebrities to know what proportion of them don’t have children tbh. I’m sure things like reproductive technologies and their cost will play a part, as well as the knowledge that they can outsource more childcare if they want to. I might be tempted to have a baby myself if I knew there would be the option not to have to be pregnant and only do the odd bit of fun-mum stuff before handing back to the nannies!

I see your point. There are lots of women out there though and it depends on your social circle. I have children and most of my friends don’t have or want them, we are mostly in our mid to late thirties. Of course they could change their minds but I doubt it.

Nor I. They’re a tiny and atypical subset of the population. I have lots of childfree friends (50s), one childfree sister and another who has not been able to conceive.

Vicky McClure is 42, no children. She’s been known to tell journalists to mind their own business if they ask whether she has any plans to have any.

If you’re asking can anyone have a baby if they want one and have enough money… then yes, we are at the point where the medtech exists to facilitate anyone in that scenario having a baby.

Yes this is true. They may not be genetically related to the baby, they may not have carried and given birth to it themselves, they may be well past natural childbearing age, but yes anyone who has enough money can acquire a newborn. That is where we now are.

But if being childless works for you why do you need celebrities to do it too?

Oh get a grip.

Exactly - there’s a saying that anecdotes are not data. All the wider population data is showing declining birth rates in almost every developed country.

Celebrities are no real indication of a typical person’s life.

That aside, it’s normal to have the feelings OP is experiencing.

I'm sure I remember Anna Kendrick speaking about the fact she had frozen embryos with an ex (an indication of how serious they'd been in the interview) so I would imagine she's also frozen her eggs and will have kids one day...

I'm almost 39 and going through Ivf to try to freeze some embryos with a sperm donor (not quite ready to go ahead and have a baby this way, but next year if I'm still single at almost 40 I will).

Of my close friends my age,

1 has 2 kids
1 has 1 kid and pregnant with second
1 has been trying IVF etc for years and does not have any
1 is a lesbian and has frozen eggs but wants them
3 have not met the right person but want them ideally (like me)
2 have no kids and don't want them (but I specifically sought out women my age who didnt have kids when all my friends were having them and I felt isolated so this is a case of like going together!)

I agree with how you feel - I ultimately think if you've got the money you can have kids any way (aka if you're a celeb) but if you can't afford masses on fertility assistance, or even just being single and only having one income and raising the kids (and you care enough to think about this, rather than just thinking "ah I'll do it anyway") then you can't necessarily.

I also think it's because women have higher standards in men than we did before - not willing to settle as much and men haven't (I'm generalising of course, but in my experience!) realised this and decided to do the work to meet us on our level! I could have certainly had kids by now if I wasn't so "picky".. but then I'd probably be one of the women on here moaning about their useless husband! So it's tough!

I know several females & maĺes who have no children (past & present)

It depends on the size of your family, work & social network

However there is a difference between people who cannot have children & those who actively decide not to have children.

A 100 years ago, some people were having 10+ children & not all the children survived, due to infant mortality & poor living conditions.
You can look up the statistics on the Government website.
People are actively choosing to have smaller families or none at all.

The only thing that has not really improved is male contraception, it seems very female bias.

There will always be childless men and women across all parta of society.

I have quite a few childless female friends. Only one is Childfree AND in a committed relationship. I know a few solo mothers by choice.

But most childless women I know are childless by circumstance and almost all are single. (They also are randomly more highly educated and wealthier on average.)

I do know a ton of moms with just one child too.