Back to school pics on social media

[abouttogetlynched]

I have seen countless “back to school” photos on my social media today, but AIBU to be surprised (although I don’t know if I really am) by the number of people who give the names of their DC and show the school they go to?

I know I know these people, but some are ex work colleagues, ex school pals etc - people whose kids I have never met. Who else is on their social media that they don’t know that well who can see this stuff?

I’ve counted 5 today who are teachers and have posted their primary aged kids with name and school shown. Shouldn’t they know better? Like from safeguarding POV?

Ok - whether I’m a brownie leader or not, I have a real issue around social media. I didn’t set my units rule, but if it weren’t already in place, I’d have asked for it.

Yep! Other groups are available

Your Brownie set has a rule about parents posting pictures of their own children on their personal social media?

I’ve been given a kicking on this thread - fair enough - but might we consider why we think we MUST post photos of our children on social media (many of you saying “friends/family”) - why does that have to go online? Why not closed WhatsApp groups? Family groups?) Just show people when you see them in person?

I’ve never posted my DC online, but I’d think it weird if our rainbows leader told me not to. Just like I’d think it was weird if she emailed saying “remember to drive safely with children in the car, give them a healthy diet, don’t introduce new partners to them too soon, don’t let them watch too much tv, and make sure they brush their teeth”.
I’d imagine far more children are harmed in some way by a parent’s partner than by someone who did not know them finding info on them online. But you’d never send that email “please remember, for your child’s safety, no stepfathers!”

I just find it odd that this is the specific risk you take it upon yourself to email about.

(To be clear, I’d understand it if your email was limited to photos of other brownies)

I don't think anyone thinks we 'must'. People like doing it. It's a normal thing to do.

Weirdly I’ve been getting these photos in my feed from people I do not know and from very random places. Do people not realise that if their posts are public they really are posted to complete strangers. I’d hate that if it were my children. The algorithms are insane!

I enjoy posting photos of.my DC online and don't see any issue with it. He is fine with it. I obviously respect the wishes of others and wouldn't post photos of other children. I have enjoyed seeing.photos of my friends' children going back to school too. It's a nice way to feel connected and up-to-date with their news.

You’re over thinking it. I share photos of have for years, never considered one of my FB friends might decide to do something bad with that info. I don’t live my life like that.

No one is saying ‘we must’. I haven’t posted any back to school pictures. It’s just not the place of a Brownie leader to tell parents what they can do in their own personal life. The way you’re talking about Brownie policy suggests you don’t actually understand safeguarding policies and that would concern me as a parent.

Privacy settings are the key here.

The risk is minuscule, I’m happy with my decision posting my kids on my private Facebook in their uniform, and I work in a school. Most of the teachers I work with also do.

Im a Welsh speaker, it’s hardly a shock to anyone who knows me which school my kids go to and will go to for secondary.

My children encounter far more risk of harm, injury etc in their day to day lives than me posting a pic on my Facebook page.

But surely if you know enough about your Facebook friends to know where they live you can make a pretty good guess at which school they're at. I've also had friends blur out the logo on the kids uniform but the cardigans are such a distinct pattern you would know which school it was anyway.

Ok, I’ve seen all I need to see - it’s not a Brownie “leaders place” to say don’t put your child at risk. It’s not your primary teacher saying “don’t do it” - and why, when the the argument is “it’s someone we know”, would you post your children? THEY DON’T HAVE TO BE ONLINE. Literally nobody will think less of you for not posting your children online. You might all be “comfortable” but all it takes is one person

I'm not really bothered by it. What I am bothered by is the gushing, the little signs, 'I'm not crying you're crying' captions. Someone I know posted a pic of a bunch of flowers and about ten cards with her little boy, loads of presents from the family. I thought it was birthday but it's just his first day in reception!

I’m not sure that knowing that a child called “Johnny” goes to Park View High (made up) is going to give a paedophile any chances they wouldn’t already have.

Posting the picture to a private account is very unlikely to cause any issues.

I don’t think there’s a risk but wish they would bore off

i sent back to school photos to my family and one close friend

nobody else gives a shit do they

I don’t have anyone I know with access to my social media who I wouldn’t want to know where my kids went to school. I don’t have public accounts where I share anything about my dc (we do have public business accounts, our dc never feature there). Everyone who can see my photos already knows my children’s names and know where we live and the ones who don’t know their schools (because their dc go to the same schools or they’ve been to the nativity play there to see dc), know where we live so could probably work it out.

I do have a family member who stalks me, so I am very careful about what information I put out there and my accounts are very tightly locked down. I don’t have any randoms. Followers are my trusted friends. If you can’t trust your childhood friend of 30 years, who the hell can you trust?

Fwiw, I know two convicted paedophiles. Obviously, they are not people I have any contact with and they have no contact with my children, but I know them (partners of family members). They don’t have social media and the children they abused, they didn’t contact them or abuse them online. They did it the old fashioned way. Grooming them and their parents during ordinary family gatherings, Christmas, birthday parties, sleepovers. The sort of things no one would be alarmed about inviting a friendly uncle to. No stranger danger. Absolutely the sort of abuse that happened in the home right under everyone’s noses.

Personally, I don’t post back to school photos of my dc on social media. I’m too lazy. But I wouldn’t have any concerns about doing it either.

I agree with OP and I would never do it. It’s just another piece of data online about your child that makes them more susceptible to online abuse and fraud. Children at risk of identity theft and fraud from 'sharenting' https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c8904njvy03o

I don’t post my DC online at all to be honest, I don’t use social media much but wouldn’t post anyway. I’ve had a bad experience, not quite deepfake but whereby I was tagged in a picture with a friend, so then a friend of this friend who took a dislike to me, made fake profiles of me on adult sites with AI so it looked like I was basically a porn star. There was very little info available on my FB profile that anyone I wasn’t friends with could see, but this person could find out enough about me due to being a friend of a friend so my name was used, where I worked, the town I lived in.
Maybe this has affected my thought process, but it shows it can and does happen.
As a PP has said, it’s not just about the fact that I now know this distant old friends child’s name and school, it’s also that I can find out so much more and so many people make this easily available, and why? Why are you making it possible for me to see your house number, or when their child is holding this board with their teachers name, their favourite food is chocolate ice cream etc? I get the risk is small, but what’s the benefit?
The likelihood of me calling ‘Amelia Smith’s’ school and saying “Hi, it’s Amelia’s mum who’s in Mrs Turner’s class. I need my friend to collect her early today as we’ve had a family emergency”, it’s small, tiny in fact. But there are fucked up people out there who could go and pick up Amelia and say “your mum Julie asked me to pick you up, but I’m going to take you for chocolate ice cream then take you home.”
The chance is so small but it’s not impossible.
It seems it’s more likely that someone has access to this info and can post it somewhere online with all that information. So you might not know someone who could kidnap your child, but you could know someone who is capable of sharing all their info and pics to a disturbing site.
The Childline link someone posted shows the risks of sharing this info and I’m sure they know better than us what awful things happen.
You really can’t trust people you know as well as you might think, let alone people you don’t know whose hands these pictures and info can fall into.

Are child predators really that fussy they’d make so much of an effort to find a child online they “take a fancy to” and then track them down to their school?

Surely they’d be better just standing outside a different school every week and pick one of those children instead of tracking down a specific child from the internet.

I though the actual risk was that they would also know the kids name, mum’s name, potential pets and brothers and sisters names - and then if they did wait by the school then they could easily say “your mum Julie asked me to pick you up because she’s had to rush Rex to the vets. Your dad Simon is picking up your brother Tommy and I’ve said I’ll come and get you. Did you enjoy your holiday to France in summer?” And you’ve just got way more chance of convincing a child to go with you as you know all about them.

That said, I’ve still never heard of a single story of a child being molested where they were targeting because of a social media post with them in their uniform - but I could be proved wrong.

I think YABU if the kids are old enough to understand.
Around 7+.
I mean people can see my kids in their uniforms walking through town anyway so thousands of people I don't know technically know where my kids go to school.
But my kids are walked to and from school by me. They have also had it drilled into them not to go off with anyone unless I've specifically told them it's ok.. even if they know that person or the person seems to know their name, or has some story.. I've told them never to go unless they hear it directly from me or their father or a teacher.
I really think everyone should be having this full discussion with their kids even if not on social media.
But really I think paedophile hysteria is a bit nuts.
Statistically very sadly, your kids are at more risk from family members than they are random strangers.

I cross posted with this but I am actually gobsmacked we both independently used the phrase “your mum Julie”.

I just thought the same lol

A lot of naive people on here