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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Strange neighbours and their child chasing chaos

28 replies

SpicyRedRobin · 03/09/2025 12:53

Bit of a long one as it's a strange situation. I live in the top floor of a townhouse. I have the strange neighbours below me and then two other flats. These properties are tiny, made for single people and perhaps a couple that don't work from home - all one bedrooms and the building is old.

Since November a new neighbour moved in that has been driving me and my other neighbours nuts. Initially it was just the man, and he was told by the landlord (due to how bad the previous tenants were) it was a quiet household so no kids etc.

He claimed it was just him and his wife, and she was coming from Germany in a couple of months to join him and they are both nurses. I thought great as I work in the emergency services so that to me meant other shift workers so quiet.

Since then his 'wife' appeared and brought a 4yo child with her... My downstairs neighbour who works from home asked him how long they were going to stay in passing as the noise is incredible. He referred to the child in a way that made him sound like he wasn't his and said he was only here for a little bit and would be staying elsewhere... Odd but ok.

They then had this period of the wife/kid being here for weeks and then vanishing for a fortnight and returning. However since April this child has not left and here permanently. My neighbour actually spoke to his landlord about the noise and when he spoke to my neighbour he again confirmed the child would not be living here.

I am at my wits end with the noise. I don't expect silence at all times, but that is also why I moved to this property. It's too small for a family unit and the kid is up from 11am until sometimes 2am jumping about and yelling. I am stunned that he sleeps until midday and up all night. I chose a top floor flat, and yet I can hear and feel the constant stamping about. To make it worse they have arguments late at night that have increased in frequency with no regard for anyone else in the building. The house is so small I can only assume the kid is in the next room while they are doing this and they all must share a bedroom. I of course tried to speak with the husband about this, and he told such outrageous extravagant lies about the situation that I was stunned and never spoke to him since except a morning in passing.

Now to the stranger part. Not long after they first moved in April time, as I was coming back she was standing outside engrossed in her phone while the kid was running about in the street waiting for the husband. He was very chatty and spoke to me but she is standoffish and rude. He has an English accent and I recall being surprised by how eloquently he spoke for a child of that age. A few weeks back however, he finally managed to open the front door when I was coming back (another annoyance, every time I leave my home it's like I am being surveilled and he bangs on the door and cries MAMA MAMA DOOR over and over like a guard dog) and he was like another child. He could barely seem able to speak and was babbling a few nonsense words. This was not the articulate little boy I had met a few months prior. He looked clean and fed etc but he seemed to have totally regressed mentally. All I ever hear of her is her endlessly bellowed phone conversations that she has all day, telling the kid off or the screaming matches at night with her husband. I don't think she works, or at least he lied about her being a nurse as she's here all the time. They also incredibly rarely leave the property which means that all day it's this noise. I find that weird that such a young child has no socialisation and concerning in light of his current mental aptitude.

On top of this, the child looks nothing like either of them. He's very tall for his age and his complexion and features are noticeably different. Idk if that means another father, but I think it's notable in light of the above.

September has just started and the kid has not gone back/started school and remains at home, indoors all day jumping off furniture and shouting MAMA MAMA over and over again. They have a window that opens outwards and he hangs out of it yelling into the street with no reprimands or care for his safety. I can't understand why he isn't in school, he was four last year November so he must be five or approaching it now. They don't appear to parent him, and wherever I leave my house it's just loud phone conversations and him hooting and yelling in the background so I highly doubt he's home schooled.

Aibu to be concerned for this kids welfare and think the parents are shady? What do I do next?

There is more I left out but it's already super long...

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 03/09/2025 12:59

Speak to the landlord again, they need to go.

ninjahamster · 03/09/2025 13:02

I’d report to social services.

AntiHop · 03/09/2025 13:07

You have to report to social services

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 03/09/2025 13:11

Yes, social services.
There's something very strange and concerning going on with this child.

ZippyPeer · 03/09/2025 13:12

Does sound concerning. But just to say that school only started today on our area. I have friends whose 4 year olds going into nursery don't start till next week

FluffMagnet · 03/09/2025 13:13

Social services and possibly the police.

Pavingprincess · 03/09/2025 13:14

‘Not suitable for a family’, as though those on limited income have a wide range of choices. You also seem very invested in their lives. I’d contact social services and the landlord then ignore them.

SpicyRedRobin · 03/09/2025 13:33

Yes it's not suitable. It's up three flights of stairs in a narrow corridor, and they have to share a tiny bedroom and property with a small child. The flat doesn't have a garden or bath tub, or free parking outside and he works for a hospital (or atleast he said he did) in North London so a very long commute to get there through all the ulez zones.

In this modern day not everyone can afford to live in central London, and that's life but it's hardly that it's cheaper for them to live here. This property is on the higher end of pricing due to location they could find a cheaper, bigger place elsewhere. Plus the area (despite the price) isn't particularly great for kids and they have no ties to the area.

I have to pay to live here too and they are making my life and my neighbour's lives hell. If I get injured or make a mistake at work due to lack of sleep I can't rely on the defence of 'neighbour's secret garden child makes a lot of noise'.

But way to ignore all the other stuff to focus on the part that probably reflects your own situation and get defensive.

OP posts:
SpicyRedRobin · 03/09/2025 13:39

So I was thinking that, so I am waiting to see if this continues next week. The schools near me are all open though and I can't imagine he'll go anywhere further away.

OP posts:
ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 03/09/2025 13:41

Partly I think you are a bit unreasonable expecting silence when living in flats, and I have some sympathy with a family struggling to get appropriate accommodation. But OTOH any concerns around the welfare of a child should always be reported to children’s social services. There may well be valid reasons around why the child is not in school, awaiting for specialist provision for additional needs being one - but social services should check this out and whether there is anything more worrying going on.

bitterexwife · 03/09/2025 13:42

Yes to SS and landlord. Keep bothering the LL.
On another note, my primary aged children aren’t back to school until tomorrow, so child could also be? Mine are state, but if privately educated, could be later as I’m pretty sure private schools have longer holidays. Also, child could be at a special needs school (from what you’ve said) and may be on a reduced timetable?

sounds a shame though for all involved and hope things for child in particular improve.

Frostynoman · 03/09/2025 14:12

The fact that you’ve noted that the child head regressed warrants a SS call - ignore the issue of school as this child needs help now

ChaliceinWonderland · 03/09/2025 14:15

Sounds like rampant neglect
Call your local council speak to social services today,

Sassylovesbooks · 03/09/2025 16:12

You need to report all this to SS. It may be the child isn't old enough to start school, and is just tall for his age. The fact the child's development seems to have regressed is worrying. The man lied to the landlord in order to secure the flat, which doesn't bode well either. Please do report to SS, it's often neighbours who are the first to notice abuse/neglect in children.

UnbeatenMum · 03/09/2025 16:36

Was it definitely the same child? Are you concerned that child or children have been trafficked or just that the parents/carers are neglectful?

WilfredsPies · 03/09/2025 17:22

I think that if you have seen all of these things that have given you genuine cause to be concerned about the child, and you don’t report it to Social Services, then you’d be negligent. The noise levels aren’t the thing to be concentrating on if you’re concerned that he isn’t safe.

What’s your thought process behind waiting another week to see if he starts going to school? What would you say to the police if anything happened? ‘Well yes, I hear him up and about at 2am each night, and I see him hanging out of the window, and I noticed he’d regressed, and I regularly hear the parents screaming at each other, but I was waiting to see if he went to school next week’?

Are you exaggerating just to make a noise complaint seem more significant? Because I can’t imagine why else you wouldn’t have contacted them by now.

Ddakji · 03/09/2025 17:26

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 03/09/2025 13:41

Partly I think you are a bit unreasonable expecting silence when living in flats, and I have some sympathy with a family struggling to get appropriate accommodation. But OTOH any concerns around the welfare of a child should always be reported to children’s social services. There may well be valid reasons around why the child is not in school, awaiting for specialist provision for additional needs being one - but social services should check this out and whether there is anything more worrying going on.

She expressly said she didn’t expect silence. Quiet doesn’t equal silent.

Ddakji · 03/09/2025 17:27

@SpicyRedRobin as others have said, you need to speak to the landlord again, and report to social services. I would do it regardless of whether he starts school soon.

Work9to5 · 03/09/2025 17:32

Good luck with the landlord.

I have new neighbours and it's like living under a night club some days. They're owners so it's not much fun.

Cherrysoup · 03/09/2025 17:32

Our kids aren’t back til Monday. However, I would speak to the landlord and keep contacting him. This isn’t sustainable.

janehopper · 03/09/2025 17:44

Reception usually starts a bit later so he may go next week. But I agree it sounds like a social services report is wise just so they can check out all is okay. If you're landlord doesn't care though I suppose your only option is moving.

SpicyRedRobin · 03/09/2025 17:59

UnbeatenMum · 03/09/2025 16:36

Was it definitely the same child? Are you concerned that child or children have been trafficked or just that the parents/carers are neglectful?

Well this is sort of the crux of the problem. I find it odd that the wife and child have come from Germany where they have been living but they don't have German accents. The kid is definitely old enough last year to be at school but wasn't (we just assumed that as he's German he would be going back and maybe different school holiday times etc to explain away why he was here). The little boy calls him dad, but he referred to him as just some child (although that could be to get out of the fact the child's not meant to be here). I can't say for certain if that was the same little boy that I saw as it was in passing but they were definitely very different looking.

The husband also said she was his wife but later referred to her as his girlfriend. Post arrived for her on one occasion and they have different surnames... All his post seems to be for debt collectors.

They are both very young to have a child that age but also to have lived across Europe, have a professional job etc. I don't understand why she doesn't work if she came to the UK as a nurse and spends every other day setting the fire alarm off deep frying food (I raised with fire brigade my concerns as well as landlords but nothing happened).

Plus he's a liar, I have never had someone so egregiously lie in my face when politely asked to keep the noise down and it shocked me and put me off even speaking to him. I am 50/50 whether he's a nurse like he claims.

The reason I have put this off is because I have reported in the past a terrible woman who lived downstairs (talking open drug taking, all day and night music and druggies coming in and out) and she went ballistic, police were involved her partner threatened us with violence etc. it's all too much to deal with, I just want my nice normal building back with neighbours I say hi in passing. I also find that people can be too quick to report others and there's definitely more that meets the eye, I am not operating with the full awareness so don't want to start pointing fingers but it's got to the stage where I am fairly certain something weird is happening in that house.

OP posts:
carconcerns · 21/09/2025 16:27

Have you reported this to children's services yet @SpicyRedRobin

Alloveragain44 · 21/09/2025 16:39

If you aware of the fact they they are getting bedt collection letters you must be able to see their names and check their professional registration with the Nursing and Midwifery Council. That would be a start. It's does sound very odd though.

Alloveragain44 · 21/09/2025 16:39

If you aware of the fact they they are getting bedt collection letters you must be able to see their names and check their professional registration with the Nursing and Midwifery Council. That would be a start. It's does sound very odd though.