My only dc never goes to playdates or sleepovers

[Twinkletwinklelittlestar97]

My only dc is 9 and has never been on a play date or sleepover. And I can't help feeling it's my fault! I have been unable to get to know other parents at school due to my working hours. I drop off in the morning and then its a rush to the job. Then either one of the grandma's will do pick up. One goes back to her home to play & the other goes back to her home to carry on with a bit more work as she wfh. However, both grandma's will take her to the park after school almost every day, where a lot of the children also go, and its here she gets to play with school friends outside of school. They also walk the dog, who she adores.
Outside of school she sees her similar aged cousins and also has sports twice a week.
She is a very happy and confident child, enjoys school and has a lot of friends at school. I can't help feeling she's missing out by not having play dates with school friends, say maybe at the weekend.
What do you think, is she missing out? Maybe it will sort itself out when they're old enough not to need parents to sort out their social life. I'm hoping so.

I'm super proactive about playdates and have extra children around far more often than my kids are elsewhere - just to say that there are plenty of families who can't / don't host and that's fine! She sounds busy and social and active and unless she's unhappy about something there's really no problem.

I can only host Fridays as I'm working otherwise and the kids are home alone (one in high school) or at after school club. Evenings are chaos during the week but my son usually sees someone at some point on the weekends - often just by playing out with our neighbours. I wouldn't stress it unless she's mentioned it.

Practically speaking though I would start by giving my child a note for the other child with my info on it. Then when the other parent texted I'd set it up. At 9 no one is bothered by dropping off but if you haven't met each other at all yet, probably best to say hi at least. Once you start inviting, you'll possibly start getting invited and you'll want to work out if you have any thoughts on things you wouldn't want your child to be around (my daughter had bad asthma at that age so I'd ask about smoking - never was a problem but if she wanted to go to a smoking family I'd have likely just offered for them to come to ours instead)

But mostly I think she's fine and plenty busy and isn't missing out on anything.

What do you think she is missing out on?
Does she get invited to parties from school friends?

From everything you have said it sounds like she is busy and sociable. While you don't do playdates after school you mention both grandmother's take her to the park, and that she plays with school friends there. This is effectively a playdate situation for lots of children. What do you think would be different having a friend in your house or her going to theirs?

I have a ten year old and would only allow sleepovers or play dates with parents I know. If I hadn't met the parent it wouldn't happen. Maybe invite another couple of mums around for a coffee?

Why don't you ask her friends for a playdate.

If you don't know the parents give your child a piece of paper with your phone number on it. Tell them to ask a friend of they'd like to meet up, they can give your number to their mum. You can then arrange something. That's what we've done with the parents we don't know.

I’d say yes. Time to get mum contact details and invite some friends over.
Good luck! x

I worked when ds was younget but he was forever going on playdates/for tea/sleepovers and we reciprocated. I fact I often initiated the playdates.
If I didn't know the mum, I would give ds a note to pass to the friend and then the friendr would give it to their mum. Just a friendly note saying my ds would like to invite X over to play etc and my name and phone number. It always worked and that way I got to know the parents well enough to make arrangements going forward.