To ask what you would do in my situation

[Namechangedforthisonebecause]

I am in a tricky situation and cannot think of a way out. Posting here as a last resort. Any ideas or suggestions welcome, no matter how seemingly small. I'm looking for a practical solution rather than judgement or sympathy. Thanks.

I'm a solo mum with an 18 month old. I was sexually assaulted hence no father on the scene, don't want to give further details as it may be identifying. Do not receive any child maintenance. Due to high risk I had to leave my job and home when pregnant. I now live in London. I was initially offered a place in a DV shelter but a family member stepped up and started renting me a room in a small flat (I have been in this room for nearly 2 years with my daughter). It's cramped, better than a shelter but not a long term solution.

I was given a compensation payment that was intended to be used for tuition fees. This is because (despite never taking out a loan) I am not eligible for sfe funding due to Sfe's previous study rules.

Because I have money into he bank, I cannot claim UC as I am above their savings threshold. However, since I don,'t have an income I have no choice but to use the money that was supposed to be for tuition fees for daily expenses. (This is crushing for me as university was the long term 'solution' to pursuing a career that I might be able to support DD and myself without relying on benefits). At the moment it is looking like I will never be able to study/finish my degree because I would have to pay all the tuition fees out of pocket.

Next comes the harder part. With no income I cannot rent privately, nor can I take out a mortgage. So I am stuck where I am until I get a job.

I cannot afford childcare. I cannot return to my previous line of work because of unsociable hours and other complicating factors so I would most likely need to take up an entry level / relatively low paid job. This would likely cover daily living expenses but since the cost of childcare is more than what I spend each month (I live in a high cost of living area on central London) currently I would be worse off and wouldn't get to see my daughter. Ideally I would move to a cheaper area but of course no-one will rent to me without an income ... It just doesn't make financial sense to go back to . I am also struggling to find anything suitable - ie. that matches my skills and needs for flexibility.

I have tried contacting EVERYONE. I cannot get through to citizens advice. I have tried contacting every service imaginable and I get the same line " we are sympathetic but cannot help you".

What I am currently looking at is this: living off my tuition fee money until DD is old enough to go to school OR it gets used up and I can claim UC. In the meantime I lose the opportunity to study and find long term financial security. This also means staying in a Single room with my daughter (and shared bathroom) for potentially another 3 years!

I want to improve my circumstances now, but instead it seems I have to wait until I have nothing before anyone will offer support to get back into work etc.

I have already lost all my clothes and possessions. I can't replace anything as I have nowhere to put it!

So yeah, I feel completely trapped. I am very motivated, and have always been a hard worker and have lived within my means. I have never claimed benefits before. I had saved £20k towards a house deposit before I was pregnant and received £18k for tuition fees. 2 years ago I had £38k in the bank and I am watching that slowly disappear on food, bills, rent and baby costs.

What would you do? Can you think of something I haven't thought of?

They can yes, but you can’t just take your own savings and transfer a load to your DCs to bring you under the savings limit for benefits.

My recommendation is to buy an auction flat in Bradford. Our friend has just bought one post divorce for £30k. In an old mill so no problem with cladding and he commutes to Leeds every day so is close to the station. It has good transport links and is very cheap to live in.

This would be a good suggestion except I can see some problems. £30k is more than I have in savings, I cant get a mortgage and certainly don't want to get trapped in debt! Also I would be moving to an area I do not know, have no connections, away from my family, friends etc . So no support network. Honestly it would be really scary. Id be okay doing it by myself but with a 1 year old, I don't know if I could.

She can't do that. Deliberately moving large sums would be deprivation of capital.

Plus they only don't count completely if they are totally out of reach of the parent. In an account that the parent can access they can be treated toward the £16k - which amounts from the OP's compensation moved into the child's name very likely would be as it would be very obvious.

I really feel for you OP.

But for all those saying to relocate, it’s fucking horrendous trying to find a rental if you haven’t got employment (and even if you have), and especially if you claim UC. I know landlords aren’t supposed to discriminate but they do. There are too few rentals, they will always pick a working couple.

I have a friend on partial UC, she also work full time. She’s about to lose her home due to landlord selling up and has applied to over 200 properties, up to 2 and a half hours from where she currently lives. She’s been rejected from them all.

It’s not as simple as moving north.

Yes, and you can’t hide it. They want bank statements. They will see you have moved money. You can’t get away with anything, people try, but they get caught out.

I'm pretty sure specific compensation,if you can proof that's why it was awarded, can be disregarded from savings. But you need proper specialist advice

Op have you considered a modern apprenticeship? You earn while you train, so you'd have an income and you end with a qualification. If you could find one in the area you're studying then you might be able to have your degree it funded by an employer. You'd also be classed as working so would get the free nursery hours. It all sounds very hard, but you've done amazingly to get where you are, good luck.

If I was you I’d get a job, utilise the 30 free hours childcare (22ish if stretched over the full year) plus tax free childcare on top to bring it down by another 20% to keep the cost as low as possible, continue to budget carefully & use your earnings rather than your compensation to pay the bills where you are.

Even if you got an entry level job it’s easier to move up once you are in than it is to apply for higher paying jobs externally while unemployed due to building connections & relevant experience.

Depending on your degree I’d also really consider looking for workplace degree apprenticeships- get your degree on your employer’s money while working. If you’re already 2/3 of the way there then you’d be in a strong position to get in for this with an employer as they’d only have to pay out 1 year rather than 3.

Lots of people seconding and thirding apprenticeships. That with the 30 'free hours' is really is your best bet. What area/career are you trying to train in?

So, on the advice of @ARichtGoodDram I contacted citizens advice regarding the UC application. As it turns out the compensation I received (Even though it's not technically personal injury) may be eligible to be disregarded. It's been escalated to someone senior to consider my "unique circumstances". They won't backtrack any payments because "not knowing" is not a good reason even though according to their online eligibility checkers on paper I'm not eligible for UC. So now I have to wait to see what they decide. i feel so cheated by the system but at least their is a glimmer of hope. Just hope I'm not being set up for further disappointment

Fingers crossed for you it can be disregarded going forward at least.

It is posts like this that make me realise what a force for good mumsnet can be. Fingers crossed.

Good luck with Year 2 of your diploma Op. Thr fact that you are managing it means that you are moving your life in the right direction - it is just hard right now.

Completely agree! Its going to be a journey but hopefully this will be the break I need to get back into work. For those suggesting apprenticeships, I have considered them - it's just for the same reason as SFE prior learning often means your are ineligible for such schemes. I am skilled k just need the piece of paper to prove it and that would open up some more senior roles in the industry I'm in. I've just got changed into my latest vinted steal - a sweatshirt that reads 'ever the optimist" and right now I couldnt think of any slogan more appropriate for my life 🤣😅😅🥲

Could you get a live in "housekeeper" type-job which would solve your accommodation problems? Obviously it would have to be someone who didn't mind your child living there too, but some people (elderly? handicapped?）might welcome the contact with a young mum and child.