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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you ever sleep with someone a second time just to be sure?

4 replies

Spookygoose · 02/09/2025 22:36

Been on a couple of dates with a guy I really liked and thought I fancied. We get along really well, he’s funny, pretty much my type etc. I definitely felt attracted to him and had the urge to kiss him the first and second times we met up…got all the right feelings when I thought about him etc. Then on our third date he finally did kiss me, which was fairly good. He’s a good kisser. Then we slept together, also fairly good (although maybe my judgement was a bit clouded by alcohol). When I woke up in the morning though I felt like that attraction had just kinda gone. I wasn’t grossed out and regretting it or anything like that, I just had zero urge to kiss him in the morning (when usually if I really fancied someone in that situation I’d definitely want to have sex again in the morning). Since then I don’t feel excited thinking about when we had sex (again, usually in that situation I would) don’t really get excited when he texts anymore. I feel so disappointed cos he’s perfect in so many ways. I’m wondering if I tried sleeping with him again I might feel differently? My gut is saying (screaming!) no I wouldn’t feel any different, in fact I’d probably regret it..so I’m just wondering if anyone’s experienced this and tried again and it’s been better? This isn’t about bad sex - the sex was fine for drunken first-time sex, it’s about attraction. I just think it’s disappeared :(

OP posts:
YetanotherNC25 · 02/09/2025 23:06

Once you’ve got the ick its over. You won’t see him again in the same light. Try again if you want to but it’s not likely to change how you feel. I’d be cutting my losses.

Lavender115 · 02/09/2025 23:13

You should read this thread called, “Aibu to write this guy off our first night together?“

I am not pasting the link purposely.

Sounds similar to your scenario. How we in this case OP decided to (smartly) not continue.

Katflapkit · 03/09/2025 03:09

How have you felt with other men you have slept with then had a relationship with? Was it just the vibe of the morning - getting up, getting out places to see, things to do? Or was it actually an 'ick'

Spookygoose · 03/09/2025 07:50

Katflapkit · 03/09/2025 03:09

How have you felt with other men you have slept with then had a relationship with? Was it just the vibe of the morning - getting up, getting out places to see, things to do? Or was it actually an 'ick'

I wouldn’t say it was full-on ick. I’ve experienced that before and it’s a pretty strong feeling - you can’t wait to get out of there, suddenly everything they do annoys you and you even feel a bit annoyed at yourself for sleeping with them! This was more hmm I could definitely take or leave kissing him, rather than oh god please don’t put your lips anywhere near me 🤣 but also miles from I’m so horny I must have sex with you now! (Which is definitely how I’d feel and have in the past waking up next to someone naked who i really fancied). I still really, really like him as a person but feel like I could definitely take or leave the sex and that’s not how I generally feel about sex at all. He’s just so perfect in every other way that I feel like I owe it to myself to try again, but my gut feeling is telling me it won’t make any difference…

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