Please tell me I can do it this time

[nowornever25]

I’m 44, 3.5st overweight, definitely perimenopausal with stress and anxiety.

I’m going on holiday in 12 weeks time and need to feel better about myself.
I have been trying to lose weight for the last 4 years, I lose a stone and put it back on time and time again. I honestly can’t stomach the thought of going away feeling the way I do now.

My weight consumes my thoughts all the time and my confidence is nonexistent, but I’m genuinely hungry a lot with a gnawing feeling in my stomach.

I am starting the Fast 800 tomorrow for the upteenth time in the hope I can make a difference in the next 12 weeks.

I'm not sure of the purpose of my post but i suppose it’s out of desperation to know that I’m not alone and that I can do it this time

Thanks

You can do it. But you need to find something else to do when you feel hungry and a sort of self bribe system might help as well. I didn’t eat they biscuit so I’m one step neater buying myself x sort of thing.
I know AI has a bad rep on here but it can be great for keeping motivation going

Thanks so much for your reply

it’s an uncomfortable gnawing feeling which is hard to satisfy so I’m wondering if it’s a bit of acid. But you’re right I need a distraction.

I’m still getting my head around AI

Thanks again x

You can do this, don’t think of it as diet more a lifestyle change. Don’t do very low calorie diet you’ll end up feeling hungry and miserable. Work out how many calories you need to be in deficit then eat nutrient dense foods. Lots of vegetables, protein, fibre. You’ll feel fuller for longer and less likely to binge. Meal prep including snacks. Starving yourself won’t help long term. Also don’t be disheartened if you don’t feel much change in the first few weeks it will happen.

I don’t weigh myself I go by how my clothes fit and how I feel. Weight loss isn’t a quick thing and relying on willpower alone will only lead to misery and hunger.

Eat a higher protein breakfast, add in your fibre and you’ll find you don’t feel hunger for a good few hours. Go for a walk doesn’t have to be miles just 20 mins for now.

Keep hydrated, often I thought I was hungry but was actually thirsty. You can make some good changes in 12 weeks. Good luck!

Get yourself properly set up and you’ll be much better off in the long term.

Well, you can do it OP if you really want to. But, I would recommend you trying to shift your mindset a little. Please look at itslaurensmithy on Instagram. She is a plus sized late 30s (I think) gorgeous woman who posts all the things about body confidence, life stresses and actually lots of fun stuff too. She does not paint being overweight as a fabulous lifestyle or anything like that but she does really promote how you are still allowed to feel and look fabulous when you have gained weight.

If you're worried about what other people will think or say when you show your body on the beach for your holiday then don't waste your time - because other people won't care. Really, honestly.

I'm not her Mum or anything and don't know her but she's such a role model for women and I wish more people had even a snip of her confidence.

Eat well, take care of yourself but don't beat yourself up. You are allowed to feel better about yourself - let yourself feel that. Don't wait until you lose weight.

Have you thought about weight loss injections? They are life changing for many people.

My weight consumes my thoughts all the time and my confidence is nonexistent, but I’m genuinely hungry a lot with a gnawing feeling in my stomach

You're hungry a lot of the time because you have no confidence and because your weight consumes your thoughts, not the other way around. It IS possible to change this. Have a look at my AMA.

Have you tried Slimming World? I've lost 3.5 stone with them and have never been hungry. The 'free food' means that you can always eat something and I found the group really supportive and the discipline of weighing in once a week really kept me focused.

Intermittent fasting and Ice pops are the answer. I recently lost weight by having no breakfast, eat as late as I could (3/4pm if possible) 2 small healthy low carb meals and 4 Icepops after each. They’re sweet and you can’t eat them quickly so they satisfy any nibbles for a while. 56 calories for the 4.

and you can absolutely do this. It really is all mindset. Few uncomfortable days while your body adjusts and then it will be grand. You’re doing to look amazing on your holiday!!!

You can do it but stop all these nonsense fads and diets. I have no idea what Fast 800 is but sure it falls into that category. Make it a lifestyle change that’s sustainable and enjoyable rather than yo-yoing because it’s not sustainable.

Hey nowornever25, I totally hear you — it can feel so overwhelming when you’ve been trying to lose weight for years and it keeps coming back. First off, you’re definitely not alone — so many of us struggle with this cycle, especially around perimenopause when hormones, stress, and appetite can all make things harder.
Starting the Fast 800 again sounds like a great step, and sometimes it just takes finding the right plan that really fits your lifestyle and mindset. In the meantime, it might help to also understand what’s really driving your hunger and weight changes — things like hormones, stress, and diet choices can play a big role. There’s a really good resource I found that explains what causes diabetes and related weight issues — it helped me get a clearer picture of how blood sugar, hormones, and cravings are all connected.
Try to be kind to yourself over these 12 weeks — celebrate small wins, not just the number on the scale. Even small changes in meals, stress management, or sleep can make a difference. And remember, it’s absolutely possible to make a real change this time; you’ve got this 💪.

Every time you're hungry , convince yourself your thirsty and drink some water

I’m joining you as going away 23rd Oct and want to lose half a stone by then. My problem is eating out. I only have one more thing in the diary and then i’m going to decline meeting for food, as that’s my downfall. Might skip the weekend wine too as when I have a glass of wine, I want to eat. I tend to stick to 1100 ish calories and up my steps to min of 15k a day, more on weekends as i’m in a walking group.

You absolutely can do it — 12 weeks is plenty of time to make a difference. Don’t focus on perfection, just aim for consistency and small wins. Lots of us struggle with the same cycle, so you’re not alone.
I’ve seen people feel stuck like this in other areas of health too — even with things as serious as Alzheimer’s Disease Symptoms , taking action early always matters. Same for you: each day you stick with it will build confidence. 💪