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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking videos of strangers

64 replies

Deaaae · 02/09/2025 20:43

I’m very late to social media! As you can probably tell from my AIBU, I’m really curious what others think will happen in the future as to me it’s very unacceptable that people take videos of random strangers and post online. I’ve just seen a huge debate on social media (I’m not posting as don’t want more traffic drawn to it) and it’s leaning towards people saying well the guys in public space so the OP has a right to post but others like me (minority) are saying it’s an invasion of his space and what if the genders were reversed. So basically this middle aged man who looks very well-groomed in a suit is on his phone playing a game and the poster is filming him for around 1-2 minutes and she wrote a caption saying “wow! His hands are so neat and tidy, what job do you all think he does “. The issue I have is he’s minding his own business but this girl has a full video showing his whole face.

I don’t believe in the future this kind of thing will be acceptable as it is now to take videos of random people. What do others think? Will laws come about or will things get worse? I have social anxiety and seeing these videos make me so uncomfortable as anyone can just take a video of me or my family and post online! Not that I do anything remotely exciting or incriminating but that’s not the point. I just feel really sad for these people. There another one my colleague mentioned today where the poster takes videos of people eating alone and everyone comments on how sad they are! Apparently there’s sad music playing in the background of these videos and they get thousands of comments. BTW: I eat alone often when I need peace from my kids and DH.

OP posts:
Merseymum1980 · 02/09/2025 20:46

I hate thar this is acceptable x

ScrimMN · 02/09/2025 20:49

I hate this. The whole phenomenon of ‘content creation’ is ghastly

Original poster
Deaaae · 02/09/2025 20:49

Merseymum1980 · 02/09/2025 20:46

I hate thar this is acceptable x

I’m glad you agree. I would think there would be laws for st least children not being videoed but apparently not as on social media there’s people just randomly recording anyone. Surely something should be done but then how would they enforce it?

OP posts:
Chiseltip · 02/09/2025 20:51

I think it public photography will have to be controlled in some way. The freedom to film in public was fine when you needed a video camera, sound recording, editing suite and a TV station to broadcast the footage so others could see it. But that freedom is no longer appropriate.

I don't know what form it would utake, but it needs to be done.

PreciousLittleLifeForms · 02/09/2025 20:51

I hate it. My boyfriend is autistic and he has had meltdowns in public. People laugh and film him on their phones. I have been there when it has happened.

Original poster
Deaaae · 02/09/2025 20:53

@PreciousLittleLifeForms thats not nice at all. These idiots who record things without realising what’s going on is not on.

OP posts:
ElaineParrish · 02/09/2025 20:53

Deaaae · 02/09/2025 20:43

I’m very late to social media! As you can probably tell from my AIBU, I’m really curious what others think will happen in the future as to me it’s very unacceptable that people take videos of random strangers and post online. I’ve just seen a huge debate on social media (I’m not posting as don’t want more traffic drawn to it) and it’s leaning towards people saying well the guys in public space so the OP has a right to post but others like me (minority) are saying it’s an invasion of his space and what if the genders were reversed. So basically this middle aged man who looks very well-groomed in a suit is on his phone playing a game and the poster is filming him for around 1-2 minutes and she wrote a caption saying “wow! His hands are so neat and tidy, what job do you all think he does “. The issue I have is he’s minding his own business but this girl has a full video showing his whole face.

I don’t believe in the future this kind of thing will be acceptable as it is now to take videos of random people. What do others think? Will laws come about or will things get worse? I have social anxiety and seeing these videos make me so uncomfortable as anyone can just take a video of me or my family and post online! Not that I do anything remotely exciting or incriminating but that’s not the point. I just feel really sad for these people. There another one my colleague mentioned today where the poster takes videos of people eating alone and everyone comments on how sad they are! Apparently there’s sad music playing in the background of these videos and they get thousands of comments. BTW: I eat alone often when I need peace from my kids and DH.

Really aggravates me, I've seen people filming people threatening to jump off buildings and others in full mental health crisis... All for their socials.

Hopefully something good that ai might do, is auto blur faces unless the person somehow approves it.

Dread to think how many videos I appear in as a laughing stock

Original poster
Deaaae · 02/09/2025 20:56

yes I saw one earlier where the woman was standing near a bridge and the person was just filming her! I commented that she should have at least asked her if she was okay. It’s not nice to have people’s worst moments on video as a permanent record. Maybe she just needed a few minutes but I could see from the excitement from the poster of how she was wishing she would actually jump.

I know this makes me sound old (I’m 36 btw!) but I think social media when used like this is pure evil

OP posts:
PreciousLittleLifeForms · 02/09/2025 20:58

ElaineParrish · 02/09/2025 20:53

Really aggravates me, I've seen people filming people threatening to jump off buildings and others in full mental health crisis... All for their socials.

Hopefully something good that ai might do, is auto blur faces unless the person somehow approves it.

Dread to think how many videos I appear in as a laughing stock

Show quote history

Same here. On a local FB group someone posted a photo of a lady who was half dressed and jumping in puddles. Many people commented and took the piss out of her. Then her daughter commented and said it was her mum. Mum was bipolar and in a manic episode.

Thfvfdvvvvtgbynynyn · 02/09/2025 21:01

I do not understand why it’s acceptable. As well as people filming strangers on phones for social media, the other problem I think is all of the ring doorbells filming people walking up the street minding their own business.

Im so fed up of the modern world. I wish I could go back in time to the 1990s when mobile phones were not creating misery for others and people had some privacy, there is none now, and if you expect any privacy it is often met with ridicule.

PreciousLittleLifeForms · 02/09/2025 21:04

Deaaae · 02/09/2025 20:56

yes I saw one earlier where the woman was standing near a bridge and the person was just filming her! I commented that she should have at least asked her if she was okay. It’s not nice to have people’s worst moments on video as a permanent record. Maybe she just needed a few minutes but I could see from the excitement from the poster of how she was wishing she would actually jump.

I know this makes me sound old (I’m 36 btw!) but I think social media when used like this is pure evil

Edited

I have been on the top of a car park and I did see people filming me too. Why?

Original poster
Deaaae · 02/09/2025 21:04

Thfvfdvvvvtgbynynyn · 02/09/2025 21:01

I do not understand why it’s acceptable. As well as people filming strangers on phones for social media, the other problem I think is all of the ring doorbells filming people walking up the street minding their own business.

Im so fed up of the modern world. I wish I could go back in time to the 1990s when mobile phones were not creating misery for others and people had some privacy, there is none now, and if you expect any privacy it is often met with ridicule.

i agree! Something has to be done and I feel really strongly about this. I don’t know how to make a difference and I know it probably won’t change anything. I was thinking today I feel so sorry for my kids to not grow up as carefree as we did. Every moment could be recorded and come back to haunt them. I can’t imagine being a teenager in these days. My kids are little yet so I have a few years.

OP posts:
PreciousLittleLifeForms · 02/09/2025 21:05

Thfvfdvvvvtgbynynyn · 02/09/2025 21:01

I do not understand why it’s acceptable. As well as people filming strangers on phones for social media, the other problem I think is all of the ring doorbells filming people walking up the street minding their own business.

Im so fed up of the modern world. I wish I could go back in time to the 1990s when mobile phones were not creating misery for others and people had some privacy, there is none now, and if you expect any privacy it is often met with ridicule.

I hate shopping so I reward myself with a bag of crisps for the walk home. I am probably on lots of ring door bell things. An obese woman walking along eating crisps. I am probably on some video online about it.
It is sad.

Original poster
Deaaae · 02/09/2025 21:06

PreciousLittleLifeForms · 02/09/2025 21:04

I have been on the top of a car park and I did see people filming me too. Why?

Show quote history

Do you mean st the top of a car park looking down? Maybe because they want to make their video seem like someone’s trying to jump off whereas in real life they just standing there

OP posts:
Gladysknightjustwalkinmyshoes · 02/09/2025 21:07

PreciousLittleLifeForms · 02/09/2025 20:51

I hate it. My boyfriend is autistic and he has had meltdowns in public. People laugh and film him on their phones. I have been there when it has happened.

That's awful I don't understand people who derive pleasure from other people's distress.
Totally uncalled for.

Overwhelmedandunderfed · 02/09/2025 21:07

I agree with you. The thought that you could end up filmed by anyone for any use they see fit is disturbing to me. I’ve often wondered about people going to the gym when they’ve fled domestic violence etc and the huge rise in influencers filming their workouts etc. And children removed from homes etc? It’s weird to me that it hasn’t been looked at, probably because it would be so hard to police wouldn’t it?

sundayfundayclub · 02/09/2025 21:08

It's a complete invasion of privacy

PreciousLittleLifeForms · 02/09/2025 21:10

Deaaae · 02/09/2025 21:06

Do you mean st the top of a car park looking down? Maybe because they want to make their video seem like someone’s trying to jump off whereas in real life they just standing there

Show quote history

Yes I was sat on the ledge of a car park. Was in a very dark place at the time. I feel bad as I bought my town centre to a standstill. Roads closed etc.
But what I remember was some irate man telling me to jump and people filming me.

Original poster
Deaaae · 02/09/2025 21:10

Does anyone have any ideas of how we can bring more attention to this? Maybe mumsnet could get involved? I want my kids to grow up without the fear of any interaction going online.

OP posts:
sundayfundayclub · 02/09/2025 21:11

The police can't police it, there needs to be a society shift where people feel ashamed for doing it. I find it so odd that we are meant to be more progressive & aware re disability & mental health but people think it's ok to film & laugh at people.

sundayfundayclub · 02/09/2025 21:12

And of course "viewers" need to not click on that type of media. No engagement people won't post.

PreciousLittleLifeForms · 02/09/2025 21:15

Deaaae · 02/09/2025 21:10

Does anyone have any ideas of how we can bring more attention to this? Maybe mumsnet could get involved? I want my kids to grow up without the fear of any interaction going online.

Edited

I dont think it can be policed but there needs to be an attitude change like another poster said.

Would you film someone having a seizure in public? If not then why would you think it ok to film someone having a meltdown or mental health crisis?
And if you film these things and share them then you need to ask yourself why. What are you hoping to gain?

PreciousLittleLifeForms · 02/09/2025 21:17

sundayfundayclub · 02/09/2025 21:12

And of course "viewers" need to not click on that type of media. No engagement people won't post.

The trouble is that people will still view the videos and say they are sickened about that moment being filmed. Still generates clicks etc

OneKhakiFish · 02/09/2025 21:19

I agree, I think there will be laws to stop people videoing others in public soon, I seen one a while back, a lady was sitting in a shopping centre and this man holding a camera gave her a bunch of roses, expected her to be so grateful, she looked gobsmacked, didn't say anything, I would be mortified

PreciousLittleLifeForms · 02/09/2025 21:20

OneKhakiFish · 02/09/2025 21:19

I agree, I think there will be laws to stop people videoing others in public soon, I seen one a while back, a lady was sitting in a shopping centre and this man holding a camera gave her a bunch of roses, expected her to be so grateful, she looked gobsmacked, didn't say anything, I would be mortified

It is like people filming themselves giving food to the homeless. If you are doing a good deed then you dont need an audience and approval. If you do then you are doing it for the wrong reasons.