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AIBU?

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Terrible. Mother and cannot cope with it much more

1 reply

Leanne55 · 02/09/2025 20:16

Long storey never had a great relationship with dm she always been very judgemental and controlling, but I love her as she's my mum after all, recently ds visits once to twice per year is a teacher and lives about 1ans 1/2 hours drive from mum,
Mum 75 can no longer drive to ds as previously has done for a weeks stay occasionally so now doesn't get it go as much,
Sister is golden child she rings daily but doesn't sort anything, I do hospital runs, food shopping, helping sorting bills admin for house and when mums unwell visit once per two weeks or when needed, I'm also unwell and only work part time because of this, yet mum literally expects me to drop everything and be on call if needed if anything happens or is unwell etc etc, she is single has afew friends but because of her attitude towards people and relatives leads a pretty boring life, constant bitchiing about anything or anyone no pleasure to be around and sits snarling when we do visit, to put into context I did a food shop at m and s for her, said I didn't want the money back it was OK, took aload of stuff she wanted taken to the skip and after a hour of visiting and her wingeing about nothing I got up and said we where leaving,she cannot understand why now adult grandkids don't bother with her and I'm sick of making excuses some times I just want to scream in her face and say you ungrateful miserable old cow!
She is of OK health still drives and is realistic well off but I think she is lonely, I live a45 min drive away and due to my illnesses cannot do much more,
She makes me feel guilty but when I do visit I cannot stand it! And my mental health is bad afterwards

OP posts:
Endofyear · 02/09/2025 22:11

You don't have to make excuses, you can tell her why your children don't visit. You don't have to bite your tongue, you can tell her how unpleasant her behaviour is. You can choose not to do everything for her and scale back on how much you do. You can tell her to ask golden child sister for help. You just need to make the decision to put your own needs first sometimes.

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