I got chatting to my mum the other day and she’ll actively dislike someone if she makes an effort with them and is rebutted. She gets pretty offended in fact.
I try not to dwell on these things, sometimes there are reasons that aren’t personal, other times though, it is personal.
I moved to a new area 4-5 years ago and have tried to ‘ make connections ‘ and my efforts have not been reciprocated sometimes.
I tried to make some connections at my kids school/ nursery/ or on the playground over the years. Sometimes people want a closer connection and other times they don’t. I’ve also figured out some connections that I didn’t want to continue myself or others where it was clear I wouldn’t really try as it didn’t seem like a good fit.
it stings a bit when you try to befriend someone and they rebut your efforts and I probably wouldn’t go out of my way to help someone, if I had tried to be friends with and they’d made it clear they didn’t want a connection. ( say for example, ignored my message ). I’m thinking about a lady. We had been friendly and then I made the effort to suggest a meet up and she just ignored my message. This particular person seemed to have a lot of friends and family already, so I just thought she didn’t have space for others in her life. But then I realised they had made friends with other school mums and met outside of school with them, just not with me. I don’t actively dislike this person, but equally I don’t particularly like her anymore either.
there are others where I made it clear I didn’t want a friendship, think, not anticipating contact anymore and being busy for meet ups when asked. Eventually they get the message. I wouldn’t expect them to like me and probably actually dislike me and feel a bit rejected by me.
Surely this is just a normal human emotion to have ?
when there are posts like this on here though, people really berate the OP for having these feelings about people who clearly wouldn’t care if they lived or died..
am I unreasonable in saying that it’s OK to not be keen on someone who clearly can’t be arsed with you ? And also expect others to not really be keen on you, when you clearly can’t be arsed with them when they tried to be your friend ?