Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To throw DS a swimming party?

109 replies

otinata · 02/09/2025 15:44

He is turning 7, really wants a swimming party.

They do a floats and fun party type thing at the leisure centre, but parents have to get in with their children.

AIBU to ask that of people?

OP posts:
Hdpr · 02/09/2025 16:07

Don’t do this age 7, wait til 9 when they can swim better. I think people will decline the invite. Can you take him to a new pool as a birthday treat and then do a different party?

IDontDrinkTea · 02/09/2025 16:08

Oh my god, this would easily make you the most unpopular parent on the playground 🙈

Comedycook · 02/09/2025 16:08

My first thought was motherland 😂

My ds was invited to a swimming party at about that age.... honestly it was a pain for me but he absolutely loved it so all in all I was pleased we went.

PullingOutHair123 · 02/09/2025 16:14

We had a swim party - kids loved it - but waited till older so no parents had to go in.

Bernadinetta · 02/09/2025 16:16

Does it have to be 1-1 adults to children? Does every single parent need to get in? One of DD’s friends had a swimming party and I think they needed 5 or so adults to get in the pool to make ratio, the birthday child’s two parents both got in plus a child-free young fun uncle and then they asked around if any other parents would be willing which a couple of dads were.

CarpetKnees · 02/09/2025 16:18

Spies · 02/09/2025 16:03

I agree. Unfortunately I can't see many children attending this kind of party at 7, a large amount won't be able to swim and even if they can it's quite likely a parent won't want to be in the pool with the other school parents.

I would definitely save it for when he's older.

Show quote history

Plus, if OP is planning this now, I presume he is 'old in the year', so the majority of his classmates are actually only going to be 6.

SJ198 · 02/09/2025 16:27

Id bring DS because I wouldn’t want him to miss out…but I’d be secretly fuming with you 😅 I do agree with a lot of PPs though. Some kids may be only just 6 and barely able to swim.

Catsandcannedbeans · 02/09/2025 16:27

Honestly the parents will be miffed. I’m miffed whenever we have to go to one, but when I see how much DD/DS and their pals enjoy it, I get over it. At the end of the day, it’s for the kids and they almost universally love it.

PersephonePomegranate · 02/09/2025 16:29

I instantly thought of Motherland 🤣

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 02/09/2025 16:31

Absolutely fucking not.

selfmademaniac · 02/09/2025 16:32

I would hold off on the swimming party until your DC is older - most pools will only let them on the inflatables once they have turned 8 and are reasonable swimmers. It’s best to wait until at least year 4 when the youngest in the year have turned 8…

PurpleThistle7 · 02/09/2025 16:32

I can't imagine anything worse and would decline without any guilt.

I wouldn't let my child go either just for safety reasons - neither of mine were confident swimmers at 7 and I would have wanted to be with them, but also very vehemently would not have wanted to ever get into that pool.

FuzzyWolf · 02/09/2025 16:33

I’m really surprised by the number of people whose children couldn’t swim until they were nine. Most finish stage 7 of the swimming stages before the end of Year 3 here which is for ages 7-8.

Pyjamatimenow · 02/09/2025 16:33

I wouldn’t be pleased with this

Funsummerfun · 02/09/2025 16:34

I think one of mine went to a swimming party where parents needed to get in. If memory serves dads were quickly nominated for this job - and I think it was 2 kids per adult so that halved the number needed. Overall though I agree with PP - wait till they don't need adults in the pool.

Cutleryclaire · 02/09/2025 16:35

Generally all the parents I know hate swimming parties.

itsgettingweird · 02/09/2025 16:35

My da went to a 7th birthday party that’s was swimming. They had to have 2 adults per child under 8 so so parents sorted out between themselves who went in and those who didn’t supervised dressing whilst the parents showered and changed.

Might have helped that the party hosts ordered pizzas for everyone as they had a party room after for 30 minutes.

I’ll do most things for pizza 😂

KilkennyCats · 02/09/2025 16:39

How many friends/relatives can you rustle up to get in the water, op?
That’s the way they worked it with the one’s my dc were invited to, rather than expecting every kid’s parent to attend too…

Moonnstars · 02/09/2025 16:39

So the places near us do private hire. We did swimming as a 9th birthday party - no parents went in, one wore their swimwear in case they needed to go in as their child wasn't a confident swimmer but they were fine playing on the floats. A friend did it for an 8th birthday and had family members in the pool, no parents of the invited guests went in as again they could all generally swim (or at least enough) and the family members were more for younger siblings and cousins.

I would wait til you know more kids are confident in the water to save parents the torture of having to get into the pool.

PurpleThistle7 · 02/09/2025 16:40

FuzzyWolf · 02/09/2025 16:33

I’m really surprised by the number of people whose children couldn’t swim until they were nine. Most finish stage 7 of the swimming stages before the end of Year 3 here which is for ages 7-8.

My son just started his school swimming lessons - a couple months of weekly lessons in P5 so he's 9. They split them up into groups and the largest group is the non-swimmers - many of whom had never been in a swimming pool before.

We've done weekly lessons for my son since he was a toddler (with the covid breaks) but he's still not exactly a strong swimmer and he's on the luckier end and in the top group in his class. He's in swim skills 2 in the version of swim lessons the council has in my city.

TheNightingalesStarling · 02/09/2025 16:45

We did this when we lived abroad. DD was turning 6. However all the kids in the class could swim (they all had lessons at school and mist had lessons out of school) and all but one had passed the swim test which included treading water for a minute and swimming 25m straight after (no touching the side in between).

I wouldn't in the UK where swimming standards a lot lower at that age. Its a lot more fun when you can swim better.

Spies · 02/09/2025 16:48

FuzzyWolf · 02/09/2025 16:33

I’m really surprised by the number of people whose children couldn’t swim until they were nine. Most finish stage 7 of the swimming stages before the end of Year 3 here which is for ages 7-8.

I suppose it's area dependant a lot of the children who live in my area unfortunately won't have parents who can afford swimming lessons.

Although even in an area such as yours I still don't think the party would be sensible as most of his classmates will be 6 and some will have been 5 only a matter of weeks ago.

Saltandpepperlife · 02/09/2025 16:50

This would be a definite no from me! I can’t think of any parent that I know that would be up for this.

Sorry.

Charabanc · 02/09/2025 16:52

I would absolutely HATE that.

I wear hearing aids, and cannot be in a swimming pool with them in.

Plus I don't like public swimming pools full of kids peeing.

Crunchymum · 02/09/2025 16:52

Big fat nope from me! I'd decline as I am not getting in the pool, or I'd send DP but I imagine he'd feel the same.

Even for older kids, swim parties can be a bit hit and miss. Some kids that can't swim well won't be invited or will have to decline the invite (we've had a few parties for my kids for friends 10+ birthdays and the invites have all said "kids will be made to swim a lap by the lifeguard so if they can't swim this distance, they will need to decline the invite - what the fuck?) Thankfully mine can swim but not all kids can, even in late primary!

Sorry I have massively digressed.