Do people really think like this - TW ( sickened and death )

[Newchapter35]

hi - this might be confusing but I was watching a debate unfold on a popular social media platform. I understood the original point of why people were angry but it was more the threads and comments that suprised me.

initially the uproar was about someone with POTS stating they wished they had cancer instead. - I can get why this caused some controversial debates.

what did shock me was including a close friend highlighting that there was not an illness as bad as cancer. Then there was discuss about childhood diseases and they were refusing to aknowledge that there were other life threatening illnesses that could as equally impact a child than cancer. There was a so called medical profession who got very angry and the suggestion that children with severe heart disease, sever CKD , liver failure , intestinal failure, severe intractable epilepsy should still feel lucky they don’t have cancer and that even surviving cancer is worse than dying or heart failure or CKD etc

I have a DC who has had significant life threading disease and battled for their whole life I would never wish they for cancer at all and I would not dare day either had it worse but we do in every day life when it comes to support / charities etc feel like it is not “ deemed “ as worthy as support.

there was a huge amount of agreement with her and it did take me back a little
no child or anyone should have to battle cancer but they shouldn’t have to battle any other life threatening disease either.

lots of comments of “ the treatments for those are not as painful or invasive “

I really can’t comprehend it - of course they are !

sorry about the typo in title !!

Hmm I kind of get you

Cancer is seen as truly terrible and we know lots about it, due to lots of media coverage - which is good

But there other diseases that are as painful and harmful - its just a lack of media coverage i guess

Some people cant see beyond what they're told to believe.

A survivable cancer caught early is surely less harmful than other serious diseases 🥺

Sorry to your DC for dealing with a severe illness - hopefully they are doing better now? xx

I’d rather get cancer than motor neurone disease.

I had breast cancer 20 years ago. The only pain I suffered was from the surgery and sore armpits from radiotherapy. And losing my hair! But it grows back.

Sometime I think it might be worse to suffer long term pain from arthritis, for instance.

I would say it's not a competition as to which disease is worse. There are many that are terrible and affect people differently. I think it's a waste of time arguing about these things and best not dwell on it.

It’s not about dwelling on it - it’s about discussion. It does appear in every day life to for example responses from schools / understanding / lack of resources etc

Agree with you op, there are diseases that people suffer with that are as bad as cancer, or at least have the same level of suffering. Also you can't really just say "cancer" as one thing, someone could have stage 1 cancer which is sorted with a small op and they can get on with their lives, obviously there is the other extreme too.

I know what you mean about charities and other people not seeing other things as worthy of support.

I have stage 4 endometriosis, it's mostly under control now but at first it was terrifying and I had to wait years for surgery to remove it. I had a chunk of bowel removed, there were talks of colostomy bags, I lost an ovary and both fallopian tubes, I still hadn't had my daughter at that point and was terrified of being unable to have a baby and having my life ruined by bowel damage. There were concerns about my bladder too and the whole time I was waiting I knew that this disease was growing and spreading and ruining my organs getting gradually worse whilst nothing was done and I languished on a waiting list. It was TERRIFYING. I was in horrific pain the whole time too and nearly lost my job due to absences. My mental health was ruined.

But the whole time both doctors and family told me I was lucky because it was a benign disease. The growing, creeping, spreading, destroying as it goes felt very cancer like to me, the only difference was I knew it wouldn't kill me, which yes is a big thing but I felt very unseen and unsupported like it wasn't a big deal even though it irreparably damaged my pelvic organs.

Luckily I have a daughter through IVF now and have a hysterectomy scheduled with pain mostly under control while I wait, and people still act like it wasn't a big deal. So I completely understand what you're saying.

Having seen family members die of cancer and it's horrors I'm terrified of getting it and dying, but it's absolutely not the only terrifying illness there is. Also the gynaecology treatments are barbaric, I've had so many traumatic things done to me I cry in the car park before any gynaecology appointment and shake with fear throughout. Cancer treatment is not the only horrific treatment you can go through.

I take it as they are lucky enough to have not experienced anything that awful to be so ignorant, I hope.your child is doing better now x

Was it Facebook by any chance? Its full of ignorant people who think they are right about everything. Best to just avoid.

Sounds like an utterly idiotic debate to me because it’s not a generic question - there is no one answer for all cancers v all other illnesses. Some easily treatable cancers are better than a lifelong painful debilitating illness; a terminal cancer is obviously worse than something that won’t kill you. But serious illness is awful whatever it is and we should focus on sympathy and support, not trying to win some morbid “who is worse off?” competition.

I totally agree with this.

Besides which there is so much ignorance about the actual nature and implications of a lot of diseases and health conditions. My son was fairly recently diagnosed as type 1 diabetic in his late 30s and it's an ongoing and shocking learning curve discovering the life changing implications of this condition, not least it's possible effect on life expectancy. I'm feeling quite ashamed of my level of ignorance regarding type 1 diabetes and I'm totally aware that I'm similarly ignorant about many other diseases and health conditions. Who am I to compare them? And that goes for the majority of people I think.

It isn’t a pointless topic or a bad debate as it is unfortunately some peoples every day life.
I remember years there was a petition to make peadatric cancers the upmost priority for the NHS.
like cancer treatment is so vital but you can make one more vital than the other.

Any disease that causes pain and suffering and for which the treatment is invasive and gruelling is awful, whether that's cancer or (as you say) any other life-threatening condition.

It's also pretty meaningless to talk in terms of 'cancer' as if all cancers are the same. Some cancers are treatable with relatively minor surgery and minimal radiotherapy. Others require years of horribly debilitating chemo and result in life-changing disabilities.

I recently had something similar said to me my a friend who's husband has a neurological, degenerative illness. She wished he had cancer rather than what he has got. It shocked me to the core and really hurt as I watched my DH die a slow painful death from a cancer that has a really poor outcome from diagnosis.

My dp had testicular cancer. Terrifying to hear those words but I now know it's one of the most survivable and has such a quick turnaround.

GP appointment on Friday afternoon, ultrasound scan on the Sunday, surgery 5 days later. One massive dose of chemo about 5 weeks after that and he was done.

Compared to any long term or debilitating condition he had such a straightforward process and was done (bar the 5 year screening) within 7 weeks. I'm still waiting for an X-ray on my back 3 months in with horrific sciatica.

On the other hand, there are some terrible cancers. My mum had just about everything removed and re-plumbed during bladder cancer surgery. Her lung cancer was inoperable several years later.
A friend died months after first feeling 'off' from pancreatic cancer. Utterly devastating decline for him and his family.

Conversely many long-term health conditions can be well-managed (subject to NHS provision which I know is sketchy in many parts both geographically and specialists) and the casual observer may not be aware of the condition or the daily struggles associated.

Cancer treatment and research is massively funded worldwide and outcomes are generally improving significantly. Many many health conditions are not researched or funded, the understanding is poor and people struggle for YEARS to get effective treatment and diagnoses. I can understand that some people say they would rather deal with a positive-outcome cancer than a life-limiting or debilitating condition.

I think when people say "i wish I had cancer instead of xyz" its because cancer has had far more research than the xyz disease they are currently suffering from so theres a better chance of being cured but as previous posters have said, this isn't always the case.

I do remember a woman who had said she wish she had breast cancer because she had a very rare brain cancer and she made the point of saying it was because breast cancer was far more researched so in theory, she would have had a better chance of survival.

So when people say it, I think this is what they mean. I dont think theres any menace behind it, maybe a bit more foot in mouth syndrome.

There is a certain sort of person that gets involved in competitive illness. They are always cunts.

Anyone who say 'there is nothing worse than...' is lacking in imagination and seriously privileged.

Well said.
Health is wealth.

I find your original post a bit confusing, but in essence, people were argueing over which horrendous illness was worse? What a fucking awful way for people to spend their time.

I have a child with cancer - one of the ones with the poorest outcome. What people don't say clearly is that, in some instances at least, it's death by tumour or death by treatment. That's probably where the Dr was coming from. Even if they survive the initial cancer itself, the treatment causes life changing and life limiting 'side effects'. Quality of life is immeasurably poor, not to mention the many illnesses, stresses, further operations and 'treatment' for the horrors caused by radiation and chemo. Having not experienced living with a child with any other type of chronic/life limiting illness, I don't know if it's possible to say what is 'worse'. How about we all just say it's fucking unbearable that children get these illnesses at all and that the fact there is no treatment/cure for many of them is criminal.

I am sorry to hear about your DC I think what you say is correct. We are or course that cancer in many cases is horrible and none of us woukd wish it on anyone. What the debate ended being was surrounding other children’s with life threatening / terminal diagnosis to example end stage organ failures, severe congenital disease. I did not go through what mr child has been through on the original post because I didn’t want it to be like see .. they have had it worse. It wasn’t about that at all .. DC has had Mutiple life threatening scenarios but I wouldn’t say it was “ worse “ but no less either.

I wish you all the best.

I agree with the OP. I was diagnosed with cancer three years ago - obviously it was worrying at the time, but the treatment was quick and efficient and my long term outlook is very good. I would far rather have cancer than any of the many conditions for which no effective treatment is available.

I should clarify

the original argument which was viral came from a “ influencer “ who probably did over step with the comments she made. She has POTS and wished she had cancer over pots which is what triggered the original things appearing over SM.

the argument I was referring to was a branch of from that - like a secondary argument that lost track of the original debate.

I've had my Mum survive breast cancer. My Grandad has terminal cancer now. Also half my family have had cancer.
I lost a friend at 39yrs Young die of cancer and her pain was not controlled. She has left behind 3 young children.
I think it's terrible that people say they would rather have cancer. It's a awful disease and kills.
My gran did have a major stroke, after several minor ones at 70 and died. She would not of wanted to live how the Stroke made her.

My sibling died from childhood cancer but I don’t think cancer is somehow the sacred cow of life changing/threatening illnesses.

My parents met plenty of other kids with a variety of terminal and life-limiting conditions on the paediatric wards with my sibling. Some of those families had more than one child with a life-limiting hereditary condition. My mum and dad certainly didn’t feel they were somehow worse off on account of my sibling having cancer. The net result was ultimately going to be the same, wasn’t it?