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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Really angry at my ex H

5 replies

Hiitsmeagain1 · 01/09/2025 22:21

I don't know if I'm overreacting but my ex partner and I built a business together (I gave him the startup money for his venture he did the work) it is now valued at millions and Franchised all over the country.
He cheated on me with someone younger prettier after money started coming in and thus I left him with 2 DD 3 and 9months at the time with no money as he hid all the business and money from me.
He pays minimal CM through CMS and always claims he has no money when asked for extra. Clearly he and I know he's lying but I've given up arguing with him. He has a new family new younger prettier wife and DD And DS. He travels everywhere with them. Never takes the older two. Tells them the dates don't work, mum said you can't, default always blames me.
My DD's have just come back from their dads to tell me he is going away Wednesday for a week with his wife and kids, even though he promised he would take them away at least every other year. He hasn't. I feel so angry on their behalf. He chooses term time so he has a reason to exclude the older two. He's had 6 weeks to go away and he has been on 2 holidays himself but none with the girls.
Im so angry while writing this as I feel he's rejecting them and I worry this will lead to them having daddy issues and finding the wrong tyoe of person to fill the void.. it feels like history repeating itself (with me). Help me make sense of my anger please .
Children are now DD13 and DD10.5.

OP posts:
PeonyPatch · 01/09/2025 22:25

Were you married OP? Did you consult with a lawyer before separating from him considering the joint business? Sounds messy and complicated.

have you reported him to CMS or tried taking him to court re the child maintenance?

PeonyPatch · 01/09/2025 22:26

He sounds like a dreadful man and human being though to be honest. He is quite clearly rejecting his two daughters. Many men like this are under the thumb with their new wives and will do anything to appease them so he’s prioritising his new family, clearly.

Hiitsmeagain1 · 01/09/2025 22:28

PeonyPatch · 01/09/2025 22:25

Were you married OP? Did you consult with a lawyer before separating from him considering the joint business? Sounds messy and complicated.

have you reported him to CMS or tried taking him to court re the child maintenance?

Yes I took him to court for years to be advised it would cost too much and take too long before it concluded (he had registered the company in the British Virgin Islands. We have been divorced for over 7 years now. Officially. CMS can't do anything as it's what he declares. I mean he's the CEO and can create fake pay slips when needed so he can easily get away with it. It's not even about the CMS now it's the obvious rejection he is doing to my girls. I hate him for it.

OP posts:
PeonyPatch · 01/09/2025 22:36

Hiitsmeagain1 · 01/09/2025 22:28

Yes I took him to court for years to be advised it would cost too much and take too long before it concluded (he had registered the company in the British Virgin Islands. We have been divorced for over 7 years now. Officially. CMS can't do anything as it's what he declares. I mean he's the CEO and can create fake pay slips when needed so he can easily get away with it. It's not even about the CMS now it's the obvious rejection he is doing to my girls. I hate him for it.

Edited

Sadly there’s not a lot you can do about his behaviour. It’s really sad. You just have to do your best with your daughters I think. Hopefully they’ll grow up to realise that they have an amazing mother but their dad has been a let down through no fault of their own.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/09/2025 23:32

He’s a piece of trash. I’m so sorry for you and yoir daughters.
you can only control what’s in your power which is to help them see how special and loved they are by you and to try and gift them a happy (happier) mum by taking great care of yourself

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